Living Fearlessly

Two days ago, my daughter and I stood in line at IKEA. Halfway through loading our "small stuff" onto the conveyor belt and repositioning the "big stuff" (I'd tell you what it all was but it would ruin some Christmas surprises!) in the cart, the woman at the register held up her hand, stop-style.

The credit card for the people ahead of us wasn't going through, and she needed to call a manager. Those of us in the rather long line followed her head around the front of the store as she looked for the manager. Then we noticed all the other people in other lines (and if you've been to IKEA, you know there are a lot of lines!) were doing the same thing. Then someone yelled (or said pretty loudly) out, "It might be a problem with the banks. The cards aren't going through?."

And in that moment, I thought, Well, here we are: in IKEA (munching on a bag of Swedish fish I haven't yet paid for), the moment the entire banking system finally collapsed.

In the first few minutes of waiting and wondering, my mind wandered to some weird places: I looked sadly at my daughter and thought about what her life would be like now that we were officially entering another Great Depression. I thought of my many family members employed by banks and wondered what they would do. I hoped Christianity Today International (the company behind Gifted For Leadership) had processed my latest paycheck - and hoped it would still be good. But where would I deposit it if the banks are gone?.

On and on it went, and with every "what if" that zipped through my brain, I began to get more nervous. By the time my Blackberry buzzed in my purse - alerting me to an incoming email - I was convinced the world outside that IKEA, the one in which I had always known, had totally fallen away. And I was a bit scared.

Fully expecting the email to be one of my Chicago Tribune e-mail news alerts (which keeps me up to snuff on world and local events as I blitz around through my day) indeed informing me of the Total World Financial Collapse, I was surprised to see instead a email thread from my sisters-in-law about our Secret Santa exchange. No email alerts at all. Suddenly I felt much calmer. Then a few moments later a store manager came over to turn a key on the register, plunk in a new code, and apologize for the delay.

"Our system blipped," she said. "Sorry, folks!"

So the banks were fine after all. Just a little blip. Phew. But then something bigger hit me, much more troublesome. For one, I was ashamed how quickly I allowed myself to get freaked out over my own over-active imagination (though in this economic climate, it wasn't that far-fetched to imagine!). For two - and this was the biggie - I realized that never in my worry had I prayed or sought God's counsel or comfort. I ultimately found relief in my Blackberry.

This wasn't the first time this sort of thing had happened. While I'm not necessarily a worrywart, I do have a tendency to let stress take hold, to let my mind go to the most extreme scenarios, and then, worst of all, to forget that indeed God is Lord of all. And that that same God - who is Lord of all - has told me not to be afraid, not to worry, and to take heart - because he has overcome this world of troubles.

And yet, how quickly I forget when things get scary, worrisome, and troubling. How quickly I turn to things like email alerts - and what other people are telling are telling me about situations - while forgetting to seek the Voice that really matters.

Even in times such as these, which seem awfully scary, I want to live fearlessly. But I need help. Any tips?

Hands On Leadership

As I write, I'm delightfully basted in the scent of lemon grass oil; I just got a massage. I've only ever had one other massage in my life, so this is a fairly memorable occasion. I'm thankful for the kind woman who spent an hour of her time trying to talk some relaxation into these stubborn, over-tightened muscles of mine.

Actually, I'm a little more than thankful. I'm downright...perplexed. I guess I'm not sure what drives a person to want to be a masseuse. I'd always thought of it as "glam"--even the word sounds cool. But after the workout this woman just went through, I'm sure I was wrong. It was more than her willingness to expend energy that got me. What I'm really wondering is: What drives a person to be willling to touch someone else?

I can think of many other things I'd rather do than make skin-to-skin contact with strangers as they present themselves in the most awkward and needy manner (i.e., without their clothes). It's hard enough just accidentally bumping knuckles with a stranger, and now we're talking about massaging them. In my mind, it sounds horrific. Add to this the endless combination of physiques and personalities, and again, I'm not sure what you could offer me to do the job.

But now I remember something: in a roundabout way, I share in her profession. Her work reminds me of a task I'm committed to day in and day out. No, a task that's even more intimate at times. I have a Savior who touched me--much deeper than skin to skin, but heart to bleeding heart, He offered me rest when I presented myself in my most awkward and needy state, with nothing to hide behind, in all my sinfulness. And he does it every day.

And so, I've joined him in his work of touching souls. Sometimes it takes a few minutes: placing an intentional fingerprint of kindness or love, a smile, an offer to help onto the life of another. Other times, I might work for hours, lose sleep, rearrange my schedule. I work diligently to alternately applying pressure and gentility, all the while offering the aroma of Christ to a weary soul.

And just as I was, I'm sure some weary recipient of His love is completely perplexed. Why give time, skill, and energy to intimately sooth the pains of a hurting soul? If I hadn't been touched by the same nail-pierced hands, I wouldn't understand it either.

Developing a Vision When You're Not a Visionary

Solve some problem right in front of you. Often vision is born by passing through the narrow and dark birth canal of problems. You see the problem, and you start to work on it. You don't necessarily feel inspired or see lights. All you are doing is trying to solve some problem right in front of you. But later, everyone else says, "What a great vision!"

The Bible's classic example is Nehemiah. He hears a terrible report about the few remaining Jews living in Jerusalem: "Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire." The news makes him cry. Nehemiah fasts, prays, and begins to ask for help and to assemble the people and materials. Today we hold up Nehemiah as an example of a visionary leader: he conceived and launched a staggering city-rebuilding project. Nehemiah was simply trying to solve one problem right in front of him.

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Brushes or Swords?

My friend and I sat on my patio, drinking tea and catching up with life. She had just moved to a new situation, away from familiar work, beautiful spaces and valued friends, and she was experiencing the exhausting emptiness of a job that was too full, a context where she felt undervalued and a place where friends were not naturally found. The tears filled her eyes as she spoke of her weariness, her disillusionment, and her anger. My friend is a fighter: she wants to right wrongs for herself and others, she wants to demand a human pace and human respect. She wants to know and be known. And she has been fighting hard for what she wants.

After the first cup of tea, I offered her this observation from Dorothy Sayers. "Life is not a problem to be solved, but a medium for creation." And I suggested, "Perhaps it is time to drop your sword and pick up your paint brush."

And we were off, exploring the internal battles that we so often fight with others even when they never experience the swordplay in our souls.

We spoke of the weariness created by internal turmoil and that lack of quiet within ourselves that adds to the general frenetic emptiness. And then we turned to the pallet of colors she had been given in this season - not the rich reds, golds and blues that this friend would naturally reach for, but a more subdued set of tones: greys, browns and maybe a few tans. Could there be beauty in this season? Could life be a medium for creation - even here?

It is not the first conversation I have in the last week on the difference between a full life and a frenetic one. And I find myself increasingly recognizing that, when there are so very few things over which we have control, we still have the choice of whether to wield a sword or pick up a brush.

I have no idea what beauty the Lord will create through my friend in this season - how large or small the canvas she will be given, or what colors may appear on her pallet. But I do know this: in most seasons of life beauty accomplishes a great deal more than anger, and a brush rests more easily in our hands than a sword. And so I hugged her good-bye with this prayer in my heart: "May the beauty of the Lord our God rest upon us. Establish the work of our hands for us--yes, establish the work of our hands" (Psalm 90:17).

Editor's note: We had the privilege of meeting Dr. Waterman at Gifted for Leadership's Synergy conference. We hope you can join us at this year's Synergy conference on March 6-8 so we can meet you! Click here for more information.

Tra La La....Blah

Christmas is coming! The presents wrapped in fun and funky paper. The family. The homemade sugar cookies and sledding in three-feet snow. The break from school and pop quizzes! Sounds nice, doesn’t it? But did you know that the holidays are a difficult time for lots of teens? Dr. David Lowenstein, a psychologist, says that as many as one person in four battles the holiday blues this time of year.

Depression and Christmas?

It doesn’t seem like a good fit, but makes sense if dad or mom is out of the picture. It’s a bummer when the only Christmas wish is for everybody to get along, and it doesn’t happen, or if money is tight and the parents are stressing. If a student is dealing with the holiday blues, they might not understand the hype. Christmas becomes something to endure rather than a celebration.

If you work with teens or families with teens, how can you help as the holidays approach?

It may surprise you, but one way to impact a hurting teen is to involve them in a giveaway. Giving isn’t making a big show of generosity or busting the wallet to buy the most expensive gift. It’s kindness in action, like sending cards to the troops or visiting a nursing home with appropriate hand-made gifts. It’s raising money as a youth group to buy gifts for children in the Salvation Army Angel program.

Teens have the opportunity to embrace the season as they drink hot chocolate and eat s’mores and sing off-key carols as they trek to the mall to choose the name of two or three children. It becomes personal as they pray for the children receiving the gifts. There are many ways to give this season, such as visiting a widow in the church and performing an act of service for her. The ideas are only limited by your and the students’ imaginations.

You can’t fix a teen’s home life, and you can’t change the economy, but the gift of bigheartedness can be tossed down the chimney and into a teen’s life as they take part in offering an extra helping of kindness this Christmas.

Even if you don't normally interact with teens, this is a great way to reach out over the holidays. How does your family normally give during the holidays? Is it possible that you can include a teen from the youth group who may be having a hard time?

You may never know the impact, but I do. For I was once a girl who had a rough home life. I will never forget those who reached out during the tough times and showed me how to give by giving of themselves.

Good News Indeed!

Cultivating the right to share your faith means building respect. Sometimes this seed is sown for years, but many times it's overnight. Pray where God would like you to embark, and then ask questions. "How can I pray for you?" might help console a depressed friend.

Several months ago, a friend and I started praying God would bring Christians into our neighborhood. The day we prayed was the day Troy and Susan's family bought a house on our street. Although they weren't yet Christians, Susan expressed her desire to find a church to attend with her two young daughters, so I immediately invited them to our place of worship. Basically, all I did was extend the request - and the Lord graciously used me as the vehicle for this precious family to get to know him. Today they're attending church, their children are in a youth program, and she attends a Bible study.

There's another neighbor, Lisa, who moved in six months before Susan. At first she seemed interested in the Lord, even asking me for an explanation of salvation. But she backed away after we went to church together. I'm waiting patiently, praying for her. I don't request her presence at Christian functions anymore, because she's made it clear she needs space. Discernment is key in every situation, and God liberally provides this gift. When he is ready for me to start the invitations again, he'll let me know.

In the end, lifestyle evangelism's really about allowing the Lord to change and use you when you make your life available to him. There's no greater pleasure in life than to introduce someone else to God's grace.

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Finding Safe Women

I used to equate "women's ministry" with things like secret pals and salad suppers. Problem is I'm a horrible secret pal because I tend to forget birthdays and anniversaries. And I'm sorry, but I like warm food.

At one particularly memorable Christmas tea, which featured a desert reception, I nervously stuffed an entire chocolate-covered strawberry into my mouth in one bite. Who does that?! The other ladies at my table giggled nervously as strawberry-chocolate juice oozed from my lips.

As a young woman trying to balance a demanding career and a growing family, I'm lucky to find time to shave my legs, much less to carve out three hours to make chit-chat with people who are apparently way better at this "lady" thing than I am. I spent years wishing I could skip the women's events and just go do fun stuff with the men's groups. I just wanted feel safe being myself but the fellowship halls of my past were filled with women who didn't get me.

Then I met Heather. She, too, likes warm food. She, too, would totally stuff a chocolate-covered strawberry into her mouth if given the chance. As our friendship grew, ours became known as the "crazy" table at women's gatherings. I'm not sure if that was meant to be a compliment or not, but we were often joined by other women who seemed to enjoy the opportunity to let their guard down.

Just over two years ago, a brave planning committee seemed to think our friendship would be a good model for other women and they asked us to lead a ladies Bible study.

"Seriously?!" we wondered, "Do they really understand what they're getting into here? We're not even good at being ladies! How will we ever lead them?" But the more we thought about it, the more excited we became about the opportunity to create the atmosphere we had always longed for! Surely we weren't alone in needing authentic friendships and real, honest conversations.

We were asked to submit our Bible study topic to the committee so they could have a description for the Bible Study brochure. All we knew was we wanted women to be able to talk about whatever they are struggling with, knowing they would not be criticized and they would be prayed for. Somehow we managed to come with a paragraph that described what we were thinking, but even putting it in writing seemed, well, vague. We got the occasional comment about it being more of a "social" group - and we just smiled and went ahead with the direction we felt so strongly about taking.

When sign-ups started, women signed up! We thought, Oh shoot! It seemed like a good concept theoretically. Now we were going to actually have to make it work!

To the courageous women who came that first week, we started off by explaining our desire to facilitate meaningful conversations among women and we warned that no topic would be off-limits. Nothing they said would be used against them. We started by inviting the women to tell their stories, ask questions, whatever. We had no further agenda except that we would invite God to guide our conversations and reveal himself to us in the middle of our questions.

It has been more than two years since that first meeting and we have been blown away at how God is using the power of authenticity to bring healing and life-change! You've got to know, we're all very different women with really messy lives, but that's the beautiful thing! We have laughed until we cried - and cried until we laughed. And progress isn't magical or immediate in most cases, but it is happening!

There is an unspoken understanding that we're on sacred ground when a woman trusts the group with another "layer" of her heart. We aren't counselors and we don't claim to have all the answers, but we listen and pray for one another. And what a powerful thing it is to be known and accepted by other women. That's rare, I'm learning.

When we see each other on a Sunday morning, it's not, "Hi, how are you?" "Fine, how are you?" It's "How did the interview go?" or "Did you hear from the adoption agency?" or even, "Did you resist the urge to buy cigarettes?" But none of us will ever have to sit through another Christmas tea wondering, "Am I the only one here with issues?" I think that's the best part.

Confrontation: Fight or Flight?

Confrontation - always difficult, often necessary. And something that many of us do badly or not at all. We tend to default toward one of two paths; either we run from it or we find ourselves continually confronting everything: fight or flight. It doesn't take too long to realize that both of these methods are more often than not ineffective.

FLIGHT: Are you one of those people who will do anything to avoid a face-to-face encounter when something difficult must be discussed? You're frustrated, boiling on the inside, but when the issue is raised, you smile and nod as though you're in total agreement. Then you walk away, irritated with yourself because you had the opportunity but you didn't say the things that needed to be said.

You are overwhelmed by hidden emotions that no one suspects you have, and then one day you blow up over something insignificant and leave everyone around you feeling confused and hurt. Worse still, you may never express how you are feeling but you are tired and unhappy all the time because you feel victimized by people and circumstances and you are unable to directly address the issues that cause you to feel that way. You resort to dropping heavy hints or telling others in the same circle about how you're feeling in the hope that somehow the message will get across to the right people, but it rarely does. You say yes when you want to say no, and you deny there's a problem when everything in you is screaming for resolution. And?you feel sorry for yourself because no one understands you!

FIGHT: The other side of the coin expresses itself with confrontation of every issue at every level, be it large or small. You see yourself as truthful or direct, but others see you as hurtful, combative, and controlling, often displaying a total lack of awareness of the other side of the issue or the feelings of the people involved. You're always having to psyche yourself up for another battle, your bow is always taut and there's rarely any downtime; everything's a campaign that has to be fought and won, although you would call it being resolved. Living like this is a sure way to lose friendships as well as influence, causing raised blood pressure and other health issues. And?you feel sorry for yourself because no one understands you!

GODLY CONFRONTATION: Jesus was never afraid to confront, but his confrontation was strategic and specific rather than generalised or nebulous. If anyone had the right to confront, it was he. He was perfect; the world then and now is not, yet despite what we would think, He didn't waste time trying to right every wrong, nor did he white wash over issues that needed attention. Amazingly, some of the things we would have addressed, he left unspoken and other things that we would never have noticed, he challenged head on.

What is the difference between him and us? Is it possible that the issue could be trust? He had an intimate and continuing relationship with his Father, which meant that minute-by-minute he was aware of how to deal with the issues at hand. He knew when he could trust God to convict the person without his intervention, and he understood when Father wanted him to face up to an issue and address it directly.

He didn't address the mixture of belief and unbelief of the father who wanted healing for his son, or condemn the woman in adultery, but he did challenge the Pharisees for their hypocritical expression of religion and he did curse the fruitlessness of the fig tree. Why he did what he did is between him and God, but his example is one that we can easily follow. The confrontation we run from provides training opportunities to help us deal with our fear of others. Conversely, where we are tempted to overdo confrontation as a means of resolution, we can develop our faith muscles by going to God instead and trusting him to sort it out without us having to say a word.

Like many spiritual principles, this kind of trust is so easy and so difficult. It takes a determination to be in relationship with God over every issue that affects us, allowing him to help us understand how to resolve the pressure of our issues with each other.

If we can master this one, we will be doing ourselves, and our sphere of influence, a big favor!

The Mixed-Gender Team

Humility is essential for mixed gender teams because pride is so destructive. Pride leads us to presume and prejudge one another. This in turn leads to issues of stereotyping, transference, and entitlement.

How many men and women feel offended by one another based on an unfair presumption? A man presumes, for instance, that a woman is against him - when really she is trying to help him. Or a woman presumes, for instance, that a man is avoiding her - when really he is busy with a task.

While both of these accusations sometimes truly fit the situation, many times presumptions are mistaken, and the truth does not come out because people fail to be humble enough to take the time to clarify team-splitting problems such as these.

Presumptions are akin to prejudice. To presume is to pre-judge, to decide you already know when, in truth, you haven't heard all the facts.

Presumption can destroy church unity. It leads people to assign malicious motives to each other. The result, too often, can be stereotyping and transference.

To stereotype is to generalize; that is, to conclude that all people are like one person that you know of. Stereotyping tends to happen at the level of impressions rather than as clearly articulated thoughts.

It is not uncommon, for instance, for a woman to stereotype all men as being oppressive, based on a bad experience in the past. Conversely, it's not unusual for a man to stereotype women as being weak and emotionally immature.

The issue of transference, by contrast, is more complex. Transference refers to the act of transferring onto another the unresolved issues that you have with someone else.

I can't speak as a psychologist, but I have heard counselors say that men and women in the church transfer their issues frequently.

For example, if a male leader has a strained relationship with his mother, he may transfer his frustrations with her onto another woman in the church. Men who have either domineering or especially frail mothers may see other women as being either too strong or too weak. For women serving on staff or in key volunteer posts, this can be particularly hurtful, especially if it causes the man to limit her unfairly.

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Losing Yourself in a Move

Almost everyone I know loathes moving - the packing, hauling, unpacking, and inability to find anything for days. It's no fun. Still, moving is part of virtually all of our lives. More than 40 million Americans move each year, and about a quarter of these undertake a significant, out-of-state move.

My father was a businessman employed by an international company, so when I was a girl my family made overseas moves every few years. "When you're new to a country and don't speak the language well," my father said, "you lose your personality. Your humor, intellect, interests - you can't communicate any of them." I experienced this firsthand during a college summer spent in Germany and found it one of the most frustrating parts of being a foreigner.

Having just moved my own family across the country, however, I'm seeing that the loss-of-self experience doesn't only apply to foreign moves and language barriers. It's part of the process of being transplanted. I'm used to the people in my day-to-day life knowing me - my personality, views, character. But suddenly they're all are invisible to those around me. Of course they emerge as I form new relationships, but it's a plodding process that requires time. And the months of establishing community and a life can be lonely and draining.

You don't have to read far into the Bible to see that it's chock full of relocation accounts. By chapter 12 of Genesis, Adam and Eve are evicted from Eden; Noah and co sail the globe; and Abraham leaves his homeland. "Leave your country, your people and your father's household, and go to the land I will show you," God tells Abraham in Gen 12:1. If it sounds dramatic, it is. To moving is to close the door on your whole life, and then open it onto a completely different life somewhere else. It's one of the more intense human experiences.

God's command to Abraham posed two questions. One - would Abraham actually leave his homeland and go? And two - if he did, how would he make it in the new land? Would he trust God to plug him into the right place in his new life, or would he rely on himself?

Trusting in God post-move, I'm finding, requires intentionality and discipline. The lack of relationships that initially marks one's life after a move can feel stark and unsettling, especially for a work-at-home mother like me with a home-based life. In the absence of the connections and commitments that filled my pre-move days, I note a tendency to fill the vacuum with other things - usually the web. The interactive feel of blogs, Facebook, and other online forums offer me temporary solace and a sense of community ?if only a 2-D version. But my online activities can easily balloon and become a crutch or even mini-addiction, especially on days when "live" community-building feels slow-going.

Now I'm all for technology and am not out to disparage the value of virtual connection or involvement. But the question is, am I running to this to avoid discouragement or loneliness? Am I seeking comfort in Facebook instead of God? When I do, it backfires and leaves me lonelier. I'll never find satisfaction in any effort to distract myself from something God's trying to do in me.

Because the Bible teaches that a big takeaway we're supposed to get out of moving is increased reliance on God. Relocation makes us feel untethered, out-of-place, not-yet-known - and consequently uncomfortable - because it's supposed to. God uses these feelings to reveal to us our dependence on him and drive us into his arms - our true home, where we're never out of place and are always fully known. And as we seek God and wait on him in the midst of our newbie struggles, he meets us there and shows himself faithful to bring us life in the new land.

Abraham and other Old Testament heroes are called "aliens and strangers on earth" by the writer of Hebrews (11:13). Their moving experiences prompted dependence on God to the point where they saw him as was their home? And more, they saw that their short-lived residence on earth was nothing compared to the "better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared (for them) a city" (v. 16).

So I pray for grace to emulate Abraham and seek God as he did, seeing my earthly residence through a heaven-focused lens that empowers me to hold it lightly.

An Election-Day Letter from a Post-Church Refugee

Hi.

It's been a while since we've talked, so I thought I'd drop you a line to catch up. Today has been exciting - a big turn out at the polling places and precincts. So much energy in the air, I almost felt as if I was connected to something living and fantastic! Even in my discontent, I think I can join with you to say "thank God for the gift of democracy!"

That leads me to a big part of why I'm writing. I'm a little discouraged these days hearing from others that you may think I'm in a faith crisis because of my politics? That I've fallen away from what is true? Or more painful yet, that I've lost my love for God? Perhaps they're just rumors, so I wanted to clear the air. There's enough that you and I are working through together to let this get in the way.

I guess you've been on my mind a bit lately because this whole election craziness has dredged up some issues that reminded me of our old times together - and also some of what ultimately pulled us apart.

To see two women become possibilities for executive office here in the U.S. has been invigorating! It has caused some currents in the bigger world out there but also reminded me of so many conversations we've had about the role of women in leadership. I don't think it's a secret between us that I've created space in our relationship to rediscover how God designed me to lead and innovate outside of the categories you thought I had to stay inside of. I wonder how you're feeling about this new political possibility? Probably the real question I'm asking is, how do you feel about me?

I had to cast a vote today for legislation that will affect the poor and the struggling. Perhaps we won't agree on the "who's" and the "how's" but perhaps we can agree that the suffering needs to be relieved? I admit to you that when I left, I was convinced that you were more adamant about the causes than the people they affected. Perhaps I was a bit rash on that judgment, but I'm hoping that we can work together in the future on what we both believe is Christ's compassion for the world. I resent what feels like your judgment, but am just as guilty, I suppose. I wonder how we meet in the middle on this?

In the time that's passed since we separated, I've started to miss the connection and the feeling of safety that I had when we were together every day. At the same time, I've discovered more about God and about myself as a child of God then I knew was possible before. I guess I'm writing in the hopes that you will acknowledge my decisions today as a vote from my conscience, borne from my own love of God, and from my conviction of who Christ is and where he's working in the world. I will extend you the same grace. I don't want to get into a game of name calling and character slashing - we are still family, and that I know in the deepest parts of me even if you've maybe made up your mind that I'm good as gone.

Let's pray for each other today. For mercy, for compassion, for reconciliation, and for humility - and tomorrow, regardless of where the politics land, I hope that we can remember Christ.

I miss you,

your sister

Two of Me

In 2 Corinthians 9:7 Paul says we should give what we decide in our hearts to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, because God loves a cheerful giver. This verse is often applied to financial giving, but I believe it applies to any resource we give away - our time, or energy, or skills. I recognized that during a season of over-extension, most of my "gives" had been reluctant or under compulsion. I felt I had to help, had to serve, or had to solve the problem. But when we attempt to give what we do not have, we cross a boundary. We trespass into joylessness.

God loves a cheerful giver, but that does not mean we should give what we do not possess to gain his approval or anyone else's. It does mean, when the balance on our account is in the black, and we write the check, or make the phone call, or lead the team, God gets a kick out of it. We need to minister "in the black" so we have something to give. Giving "in the red," giving what we do not possess, means we are living in duplicity. We are not loving God or others authentically because we're not being honest.

When an opportunity to give (time, money, service, etc.) arises, practicing simplicity means starting with self-examination. "Do I have it in my heart to give?" If that answer is "no," then it is not a clean give. Something else, something duplicitous, is behind the motivation to say "yes." Most often fear is the culprit - the fear of not appea
God loves a cheerful giver, but that does not mean we should give what we do not possess to gain his approval or anyone else's. It does mean, when the balance on our account is in the black, and we write the check, or make the phone call, or lead the team, God gets a kick out of it. We need to minister "in the black" so we have something to give. Giving "in the red," giving what we do not possess, means we are living in duplicity. We are not loving God or others authentically because we're not being honest.

When an opportunity to give (time, money, service, etc.) arises, practicing simplicity means starting with self-examination. "Do I have it in my heart to give?" If that answer is "no," then it is not a clean give. Something else, something duplicitous, is behind the motivation to say "yes." Most often fear is the culprit - the fear of not appearing in control, the fear of not pleasing someone, or the fear of not being accepted. Sometimes our Christian guilt can interfere. For example, at times we know we should say "yes" (such as, do I have it in my heart to care for the poor today?), but our strong answer is "no." In such cases I've determined to honestly face my "no" and then let God do a new thing in me rather than function in duplicity.

Some people ascribe to the "fake it till you make it" approach. But this is a dangerous path. It leads quickly to duplicity. I'd rather recognize the selfishness in my soul and bring that honestly to God. In my experience, God won't leave my selfishness untouched for long, and when it changes, the transformation is real.ring in control, the fear of not pleasing someone, or the fear of not being accepted. Sometimes our Christian guilt can interfere. For example, at times we know we should say "yes" (such as, do I have it in my heart to care for the poor today?), but our strong answer is "no." In such cases I've determined to honestly face my "no" and then let God do a new thing in me rather than function in duplicity.

Some people ascribe to the "fake it till you make it" approach. But this is a dangerous path. It leads quickly to duplicity. I'd rather recognize the selfishness in my soul and bring that honestly to God. In my experience, God won't leave my selfishness untouched for long, and when it changes, the transformation is real.

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