New Year Expectations
December 30, 2008 |
In this space a year-and-a-half ago, I wrote about lowering our expectations - which, according to some, is the key to happiness. While I don't believe that happiness should ever be an end-goal in and of itself, since I first wrote about that - and tried to put the whole lowering of expectations thing into practice - I've actually seen some payoff.
But this is the time of year I have a hard time lowering expectations. After the "Christmas come-down," I always get antsy for the New Year, for yet another fresh start, for another go at my life. And I always get excited about what the year ahead may bring.
This year in particular, I've got some exciting things ahead: My first book, Mama's Got a Fake I.D.: How to Reveal the Real You Under All That Mom comes out March 17. My friend (and fellow GFL contributor) Carla Barnhill and I continue to grow our Mommy Revolution with great discussion and author interviews on our blog - and will even be guests on Moody Radio's Midday Connection on January 13 to talk about our fledgling Revolution. But that's not all I'm excited about.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 30, 2008 | Comments (1)
Catch-Phrase Christians
December 26, 2008 |
Here's my up-front disclaimer: I'm not fond of Christian jokes and one-liners. I might be a terrible stick-in-the-mud, but when I pass a church marquee sign posting a "Christian" message, I wince. Although I fight the urge, I read it. And sometimes I need to seek God's forgiveness for the thoughts that enter my mind after my car has passed by.
I live in a small town where church marquee signs are prevalent. Before Election Day, one sign read, "To find God, turn right and go straight." A left-leaning friend was outraged by what she believed was a political message. Granted, the church was located on the right side of the road, but I wondered if the pastor realized that, if drivers decided to "go straight," they would eventually end up at the Davison Bacon & Sausage Works down the road. (Can God really be found between tubes of hanging salami?)
Another local church sign once read, "If God gave you the same priority you give Him, would you be saved?" My instinctive response was a low growl. I wasn't being convicted by the Holy Spirit; I simply have an adverse reaction to being smacked in the head while traveling down Main Street. It doesn't seem to reflect our Savior's style.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 26, 2008 | Comments (15)
Taking a Sharpie to Your List
December 19, 2008 |
No offense, but I'm crossing your name off my list with a big black Sharpie.
I'm not crossing you out of my life--just off my list.
It's not crossing you off because you're unimportant or because I don't care or because I don't think you're cool.
Blackening your name off isn't easy for me, but I've got to do it.
It's not you; it's me.
And I'm not superwoman.
Sorry, but I've got to do this?
Screech?(Sound of Sharpie on paper.)
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 19, 2008 | Comments (20)
Life in a Snow Globe
December 16, 2008 |
There is something magical about a snow globe. A child's eyes fill with wonder every time one is shaken. The snow swirls around the scene until it finally settles motionless on the bottom - until someone shakes it again.
When I unpacked my Christmas decorations this year, I found a treasured snow globe wrapped in brown paper. I shook it, and waited for the snow to settle, I imagined what it would be like to live inside. I began to picture myself in an idyllic Christmas scene, and then chuckled when I realized that when the holidays roll around, I DO live in a snow globe. When the holiday rush hits, it seems like someone has shaken my world.
The holidays bring extra stresses. Juggling the additional to-do lists can feel like trying to walk in a blizzard. In most homes these responsibilities fall on the women. Often we're the ones expected to make our family's season merry and bright. Decorating, gift buying and wrapping, cooking, party planning, card sending.... The list goes on. It's easy to get caught up trying to make everything look and taste Martha Stewart perfect.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 16, 2008 | Comments (2)
Starting Over
December 15, 2008 |
People often mistake forgiveness for a feeling, but fundamentally forgiveness is a choice, an act of the will. That's why we are commanded to forgive. Forgiving involves acknowledging your own hurt, releasing your thoughts about the violation and giving up the desire to pay the offender back. If you are the spouse who has been wronged, it may seem strange that the burden of this stage of healing falls to you. But forgiving has more to do with the health of your spiritual and mental life than it does with your spouse's. Forgiving releases your spouse from your wrath, but - more importantly - it frees you from the destructive bondage of unforgiveness.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on December 15, 2008 | Comments (0)
Creative Acts of Obedience
December 12, 2008 |
Serene Madonna? I don't think so
Mary, the mother of Jesus, is usually painted looking so serene, but I have to wonder if that was always the expression on her face. The advent season is all about her story, as the young virgin honored to be selected to bear the Messiah. She didn't seem to struggle too much with her yes, but did she have any idea what would be coming next?
This past spring I was in Israel driving by bus from Nazareth to Bethlehem, thinking, "This would not be fun, on a donkey - in your third trimester! Besides the inconvenient travel, she encountered a fiance who wanted to break it off, a village abuzz with gossip, and a less than optimal delivery location. And that was just in the first nine months of the story.
God calls each of us to creative acts of obedience throughout our lives.
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 12, 2008 | Comments (5)
Guided by Dreams
December 9, 2008 |
I watched, helpless, as the minivan careened down the hill into a giant tree. The passenger's side was demolished, injuring one of my closest friends. I ran down the hill to see if my friend was alive and well. She was alive but she wasn't well; she was covered in blood where the tree had torn through the vehicle on her side. Someone called 911 and I gave her a cotton cloth to wipe the blood off her body, but since she could not move I had to reach through the window to help her. By the time the ambulance had arrived, her head had fallen to her shoulder, then to her chest, and finally the seatbelt supported her entire weight. She had died; I saw her die.
We had been friends since we were 15. My husband and I are "Nino" and "Nina" (terms of endearment in Spanish for "Godfather" and "Godmother") to her children. I grieved for these children; I grieved for her husband; I grieved for myself.
And then I woke up.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 9, 2008 | Comments (1)
A Crisis of Faith
December 8, 2008 |
Scripture says to wait expectantly on the Lord. Day after day I did just that as I sat quietly in the early morning with my Bible open to Job and Psalms. I read Scripture and prayed honest, struggling prayers. I was desperate to hear some direction and assurance from God. More than a response to my unanswered prayer, I needed to reconnect deeply with him.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on December 8, 2008 | Comments (0)
Like Tidbits in My Tummy
December 5, 2008 |
Food, glorious food! It's the time of year for eating. I imagine most of our Thanksgiving turkey gobbled up and the leftovers transformed into dishes like Real Simple's recommendation: turkey barbeque sandwiches.
Food has power over our health. Earlier this week my husband, Dale, re-lived the poisonous side of food. His favorite meal, pizza, was ruined. It was, unfortunately, during the wee hours of the morning, at the start of our long drive from Los Angeles to home in Colorado. The food poisoning he experienced completely overhauled his body, leaving him weak, annoyed by the embarrassing inconvenience.
Food has power to unite us. Earlier this year Dale and I started a house church with another family. We have three rules, we eat together, we pray together and we share spiritual and financial resources together. The church has since doubled in size. Every week we rotate who will host, who will provide the main dish and who will cook up our "soul food." So far, I've learned more about how to follow Jesus, more about love and unity than I've learned in years spent in my church pew. Even the kids participate.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 5, 2008 | Comments (0)
Merry ... Advent?
December 2, 2008 |
I have this weird rule for myself. It is one that requires great discipline and mental fortitude. Here it is: I refuse to listen to any Christmas music before Thanksgiving weekend. Okay, this may not seem very ambitious to you, but have you tried doing this in our society? We laud the wonders of the Starbucks gingersnap latte (whatever happened to the gingerbread latte, anyway?) before Election Day has come. And after Halloween, I find it impossible to walk through any department store without being inundated with baubles and festoons of holiday delight. These obstacles make my no pre-yuletide music rule difficult.
Why does our culture feel the need to jump into this season immediately after we finish trick-or-treating? Well, quite truthfully, preparing for Christmas is fun! I love getting swept up in the flurry of preparation. The hustle and bustle of shopping, cooking, eating, and longtime family traditions - in their best moments - make us joyful and nostalgic.
This period of expectancy is exciting for all who celebrate Christmas but especially for us as Christians. We anticipate the delights of Christmas and most importantly await the birth of our Savior, the mystery of the Word made flesh.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on December 2, 2008 | Comments (7)
The Adulteress
December 2, 2008 |
Her story is scandalous, first word to last. And glorious.
At dawn, the teachers of the Law and the Pharisees tarried by a nameless woman's door, itching to drag her out of bed and into the temple, where Jesus was teaching. Moments later, half-dressed at best, the woman was forced to "stand before the group," like Hester Prynne wearing her scarlet letter, cheeks stained with shame.
Continue reading...Posted by Bonnie McMaken on December 2, 2008 | Comments (0)
