False Distinction Between Gifts and Roles
May 5, 2009 |
When was the last time you took a spiritual gifts inventory or answered a church survey to see how God might be leading you to serve in your church? Maybe you are in ministry to women who have particular gifts and talents, but they need guidance in knowing how they translate to the community of believers. Many people have knowledge or insight about their gifts before they even pick up the pencil to fill out a questionnaire, but these instruments can become wonderfully useful tools of discovery for the church.
But I pause to consider if some women in the church, instead of searching for ways to use or discover their gifts, are actively suppressing the identification and use of them as a twisted act of selflessness, or perhaps - and equally as worrisome - they are confusing gifts with roles. GFL's managing editor Caryn Rivadeniera's recent book, Mama's Got a Fake I.D., has caused me to examine this issue a bit closer. In my review of her book on my blog, I offer a possible reason why embracing this aspect of identity is difficult for some women, attributing it to a contemporary form of asceticism - a denial of pleasures for some sort of spiritual attainment.
Some women, I am learning, are uncomfortable discussing their spiritual gifts if they are not identical to how they function in their roles, because for them these gifts might overshadow what they perceive to be the true functions of a woman, wife, or mom.
Yet Paul had no problem with any member of the church desiring spiritual gifts; therefore, giftedness and function/role ought never to be pitted against each other, especially in this way. How a woman is a wife and a mom and how she serves within the body of Christ will both be impacted by her personality, her interests, her talents, and her gifts. Enabling a false distinction between the two creates a dualism God never intended.
In developing clarity on this, another elephant appeared in the room. When gifts and roles are pitted against each other, an important and valid distinction is lost between self-denial and selflessness, the latter which we find as the example of Jesus who gave his life for the church. We also find that it is selflessness, not self-denial, which is the foundation for biblical submission. When women focus their energy on denying or refusing to embrace God-given aspects of who they are in an effort to preserve or protect the image they have of wife and mom, the biblical teaching of submission also falls prey to becoming an act of negation ("giving up") instead of a positive act of love ("giving to").
Submission ceases to be a selfless way of living and takes on the form of denying the self of pleasures or wants. It becomes a new rule instead of a virtue. One might argue that self-denial is a primary component of submission, but we should hope that it is much deeper than a denial of pleasure, but is rather an offering grounded in respect and love. For Jesus, submitting to the Father's will had serious implications, but his submission was positive - giving to the will of the Father, not giving up the life he would rather have kept. His longings were not for what he was losing.
Understanding the distinction between self-denial and selflessness gets at the heart of our broken humanity, but also recognizes that not everything about our humanity is broken. Of course, we are dead in our sins, but created in the image of God and being recipients of spiritual gifts, we are called to the do good works we were created for (Ephesians 2:10). But when self-denial replaces selflessness, there is the risk of eliminating what God ordained to be used for his purposes.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on May 5, 2009
Comments
Excellent middle way for understanding women's ministry.
God is good
jpu
Posted by: John Umland on May 5, 2009
Sarah,
My personal experience is that pastors and leaders are so "cautious" especially where women using their gifts in the church is concerned. Several times I've offered myself for a variety of things and my offerings fell on deaf ears. There are blockages to the release and development of women.
It's hard when in our minds we can see so many wonderful possibilities, but become so frustrated when not supported. I use my gifts outside the church moreso and in personal ministry instead.
Posted by: RosalieG on May 5, 2009
Sorry, I'm not getting what you are writing about.
You don't list any examples, so I'm left wondering if you mean that a woman can have a spiritual gift of teaching but then refuse to teach men because of Paul's statement "I don't allow a woman to teach a man." Is this what you mean?
I just can't imagine how any other example would actually be relevant. Please describe.
Posted by: Kerri on May 6, 2009
Hi Sarah. I like what you said about submission. For far too long, people have perverted the concept into that of the wife obeys and the husband makes the final decision, ignoring the fact that the husband is called to submit to his wife too. Submission is actually an act of love on both parts!
Posted by: Kathy on May 6, 2009
Sarah, my kids are grown, and my husband is a minister, so my situation of using my spiritual gifts has a different dilemma. What should I be doing?
There are so many ways to get involved in our church, that the my head spins sometimes.
Music has always been my niche, so being involved in the Worship team and choir are logical choices. Yet, God has presented me with new opportunities, new areas of leadership development, and God is equipping me for new areas of service, like teaching and administration. I would love to sing, but cannot do it all.
I would like to hear a bit more on the difference between "giving up" and "giving to". Thanks for your insight!
Janet
Posted by: Janet on May 7, 2009
Janet, it sounds like you're not within the group of women seeking a higher realm of spirituality by ignoring the fact that you have spiritual gifts. I think God does lead us down unexpected paths and our life journey changes. God equips those whom he calls, he doesn't necessarily call the already equipped. So keep following God, checking in with him on a daily basis to be sure you are seeking his glory and not your own...something each of us needs to do.
The "giving up"/"giving to" distinction was discovered as I approached this spiritual gifts subject. Some women neglect their calling when they neglect themselves, thinking that that's what God would want them to do. And I'm definitely not opening the door for a subjective, autonomous authority. As a staunch complementarian, I believe women are going too far in denying their gifts, those given to them by God, while trying to deny themselves. This is the kind of topic that deserves at least a chapter in a book, if not a whole book! Keep watching, it may get written. :)
Posted by: Sarah Flashing on May 7, 2009
There's an awful lot of ministry not happening because women aren't obeying the call of their gifts, talents, or desires as imparted by God. Its easier to stay in that which is comfortable; that which doesn't rock the boat. Many churches don't encourage or support women in their gifts so its easier to stay in that which is safe.
Women are desperately needed in all areas of ministry. But I think our culture of individualism, busyness and self-protection probably keeps more women from using their gifts than giving in.
Posted by: Angela C on May 8, 2009
is singing a ministry or a gift
Posted by: naomi on May 8, 2009
Naomi, I believe "singing" (Music) can be both. Read about how David calmed the evil spirit in King Saul with music (1 Samuel 16:14-23).
This is a great article, however, it is very hard using our gifts, especially our supernatural gifts that we have been given. There are a lot of Churches today that hold the "cessationist" view on Spiritual gifts.
Anyone not using the gifts the Holy Spirit has given them, you are actually turning down blessings! These are blessings God wants you to use to make the "Body of Christ" (the Church) stronger! I feel deeply in my heart, to deny these miraculous gifts, is to deny Christ's power still active here on earth today! No wonder this world is falling apart.
Posted by: Sheri on May 11, 2009
I totally get what you are saying. I see it all the time. We get such conflicting messages as women. "Loving your husband and caring for your kids are your most important ministries." If we are also gifted in other ways that take up the time and energy that we need to be super wife/mom, we are torn. I have seen many gifted women repress their gifts because of the pressure to be a perfect woman instead of serving the Kingdom.
I think part of the reason it is so hard is because in a lot of churches, we have to CREATE a place to use our gifts because we are not welcome to serve beside the men. That quadruples the work and effort.
Posted by: tj on May 13, 2009
Hi TJ, I am speaking of both the gifts that are separate from our roles, and in fact the gifts that a part of how we are doing our roles. God has supplied is with an identity and set of gifts and talents that cannot be separate from the roles we play on this earth. Yet how is it that wife and mom have become so generic? (Thanks, Caryn!)But I agree with you TOTALLY that we often have to create a place to use our gifts, and then the potential for guilt about that becomes real.
Posted by: Sarah Flashing on May 14, 2009
I love this! Sometimes all women need is "permission" to live outside the traditional church definitions of wife and mom. When they see a women who lives for Christ in the way God made her, it is freeing. She can be creative within the roles of her life but also lives confidently in what God has given her as a calling. Gifts that are identified and put into practice are most effective when free from "selfish ambition" (which self denial can be a part of). I believe roles and gifts when blended together look like spiritual ambition; not self denial, but God acceptance. Opening up to God's unique plan for each of us.
Posted by: ChristyS. on May 16, 2009
I'm confused, well, not really. It's just the same old argument. The author appears to be encouraging women to use their gifts and not deny them in the name of 'submission' and yet at the same time saying God only gifts within our roles as women. What roles? Deborah's role certainly wasn't 'only' being a wife and mom...do we know she was either? She was called by God to be a judge of Israel and to lead. Many woman are called to lead within the church and without, but we tend to bury those gifts before someone else does or before we're merely ignored, as one blogger stated. We're being driven out of the church because of false perceptions about the non-biblical concept of 'roles.' The author is correct in her title, it is a false distinction because we are gifted by our Lord, not 'roled,' but then takes us down a false road.
Posted by: Nancy Leafblad on August 14, 2009
Hi Nancy,
Can you please clarify what you mean when you said that the author "takes us down a false road"? I guess I have not figured that out by reading her article or your short feedback...thanks.
Posted by: Helen on August 21, 2009