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May 4, 2009Food for Thought
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At Western Seminary I teach a class called "Women in Pain." Each school term I hear students tell stories of wounds - divorce, widowhood, abortion, infertility, death, sexual abuse. Women often tell me my seminary classroom is the first place they could admit their source of hurt and feel accepted and understood.
Women process pain differently than men. Women need to talk about it, to get it out in an affirming environment before receiving direction. Empathetic listening skills are critical. Understanding is essential. In some ways, women desperately need the comfort only other women can give.
I have discovered that once my students hear the story of a woman who has experienced the pain of abortion, divorce, or domestic violence, they begin to grow in compassion. They open their hearts for a deeper understanding of the pain, and an eagerness for helping those who feel it.
At the same time, a woman who has had the opportunity to share her own story of pain in a safe environment also grows in healing and compassion. A woman who has overcome intense hurt often feels an intense desire to help those with similar wounds.
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Comments
I just read this article a few minutes ago and was very engaged and energized. My prayer is that this energy leads me to action.
Posted By: Tami | May 4, 2009 11:10 AM
Great topic & observation. I'm looking forward to reading the full article...
From what I have seen, very few women feel the freedom to discuss or grieve their pain, and very few women create space for others to do so. I would love for the church to grow in this area and encourage women (and men) to "go there."
Posted By: Charlotte | May 4, 2009 6:24 PM
Thank you for your article, Beverly. I agree fully. If we do not share the hurts in our lives, I've often wondered how we can really connect with the hurting. If we have made it through a difficulty and never reflect on what God did in the midst of it, many women sit in our pews thinking they are the only one who has experienced the pain and no one in her church would understand. Transparency is the open door to ministry.
Posted By: Chris Adams | May 12, 2009 1:35 PM