Leading in the Lands of the Free
June 30, 2009 |
My seven-year-old son is on a freedom kick. Whenever we talk about a country (and this is often, since he and my five-year-old daughter are also on geography kicks), he'll ask: "Do they have freedom there?"
I love that he asks this. Because when the answer is "yes" it gives us an opportunity to talk about what cool things and amazing opportunities freedom allows people in whatever free country we're talking about. And when the answer is "not really" or "really limited" we talk about the injustices and oppression and the horrors lack of freedom brings about.
While this certainly isn't the most cheery mom-and-kid talk, I think these conversations are among the most important I have with my kids. I want them to grow up understanding how precious the freedom we enjoy in our country (which is, by the way, the U.S.) - how historically and geographically rare it is. I want them to understand it and appreciate it because I believe that the luxurious freedoms we enjoy falls under the "jurisdiction" of Jesus' words: "When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required" (Luke 12:48).
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 30, 2009 | Comments (1)
Weary of the Gender Wars
June 26, 2009 |
I grew up in the faith while "Onward Christian Soldiers" was still regularly sung at church. However, due to the Viet Nam War, it lost its appeal as we were bombarded with the images of war on the nightly news. I learned very quickly that war is costly: two members of my church youth group were killed within months of each other.
Then, through my reading of Scripture and the teaching I sat under, I came to understand that when I accepted Christ as my Savior, I entered a spiritual war against the forces of evil. I could expect persecution and rejection on many different levels. I accepted this as part of the cost of following the Lord Jesus. What I didn't know then, and would not come to understand until years later, was I also had been conscripted into a battle within the church that has now come to be known as the "Gender Wars," the women-in-ministry debate.
In the June 2008 issue of Christianity Today (GFL's sister publication), a pair of articles were published under the title, "Wounds of a Friend," one addressing complimentarians ; the other, egalitarians. Because I am in vocational ministry, these articles drew my attention---either because of a sadistic curiosity to see what's being said about women like me or an eternal hope that perhaps the discussion might change.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 26, 2009 | Comments (19)
Why Don't We Feel Like We Have Enough?
June 23, 2009 |
In late winter, a new Salvation Army store opened with surprising fanfare in my mid-Michigan hometown. At the Grand Opening, bargain shoppers started lining up outside in 30 degree weather at 7 a.m. and patiently waited two hours for the manager to unlock the doors. When he did, it took 20 minutes for the crowd to file inside.
Throughout the day, shoppers again waited in lines to purchase the goods that filled their carts to overflowing. The lines wrapped around the perimeter of the store while hundreds of cars clogged the once deserted parking lot.
By closing time, the store that offers items with the average sale price of $2.09 had made $30,000. Twirling lights from a sky tracker sliced through the darkened skies, signaling to the world that a new business had successfully launched.
It’s tempting to believe that shoppers who sifted through the carefully sorted clothing and household goods did so out of dire need. But I'm afraid my local Salvation Army's slammin' success is more indicative of the downward slide of the American shopper. Sometime in the past year, Macy’s shoppers became J.C. Penney shoppers who became Wal-Mart shoppers who became Salvation Army shoppers.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 23, 2009 | Comments (4)
How to Take a Compliment
June 19, 2009 |
While checking my children into the nursery at church last week, an acquaintance of mine approached. "Susan, this is who I've been telling you about!" she exclaimed, pulling her friend behind her. She turned to me with a big smile. "I've been telling Susan all about you, how you're so good at speaking. You are the best teacher!"
I froze, not sure what to say. She continued, "I don't know how you do it all, with all you do at church, and your kids are so well-behaved and you are so thin!" I smiled and coughed out a "ha…" Inside, I was cringing. I knew she meant well, but I felt incredibly awkward. I ran through some of my possible responses:
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 19, 2009 | Comments (11)
Leaders Should Consider Twitter
June 16, 2009 |
Though it's been around for three years, Twitter hit the main stage of American culture when Oprah decided to write her first tweet. Though the site was excelling before the Oprah nod, more people are on Twitter today than ever before. So why should you consider signing up?
1. By Signing Up for Twitter, You Can Avoid the Blank Stares. In our modern age, there are some products, people, and Internet sites that everyone seems to know about. For example, most of us have heard of ShamWow and the Snuggie even if we don't own them. It's hard to check out from the grocery story without learning the latest about Brangelina (Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie) and more recently the sad news of Kate and Jon Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8. There are just some things that everyone knows about, so go ahead and add Twitter to your list. It will take you less than three minutes to open a free account and send your first tweet of 140 characters or fewer. That's right: You only get a sentence or two. Then, when someone asks you if you know about Twitter, you can offer more than a blank stare - you can give them give them a warm smile and an invitation to follow your tweets.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 16, 2009 | Comments (18)
Wondering Why We're Sent
June 12, 2009 |
When I walk into a roomful of strangers, I engage in what is, at best, a self-imposed test in discernment; at worst a superficial gamble. I scan the women to whom I will be speaking and instinctually begin an imprecise version of memory, flipping cards in a lame attempt to match the earnestness of their smiles with the state of their souls. I do it with pretense, albeit pretense with an asterisk. Pretense: I want to know their stories. Asterisk: I want to know their stories to know if I'll hit my mark. I toss God a prayer: Okay, You sent me here, now show me why.
Then I wait.
But at a recent event, he didn't answer. Or so I thought.
Several of us were chatting easily over dinner, typical mom small talk - number of kids, gender, ages - when a card was flipped and the match was breathtakingly unexpected.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 12, 2009 | Comments (8)
Seeing Yourself in Scripture
June 9, 2009 |
As friends and I met for dinner to enjoy pictures of mutual friends' wedding, their four-year-old joined in the fun. At one stage I asked this child which picture was her favorite, and she quickly pointed to one saying "This one!" When I asked why, she pointed again and said the name of her best friend. Her parents and I strained our eyes to have another look. We'd been focusing on the images of adults and failed to observe a little girl - her best friend - poking her head just slightly around her mother's knee. We all broke into laugher, realizing we had missed something precious to this child. This little girl noticed an individual similar to herself in the photograph while the adults were looking only at the other adults. It was one of those profound moments when you realize how experience shapes observation.
The same is true when women read Scripture. Women tend to observe other women. It should not surprise us that as women entered universities in the 1800s, they were among the first to note women evangelists (Mark 7:24-30, John 4:5-42, John 20:17, Phil. 4:2-3); deacons (Rom. 16:1-2); teachers (Acts 18:24-26, Col. 3:16); leaders of house churches (Acts 16:13-15, 40; Acts 18: 1-3, 18, 24-26; Rom. 16:3; 1 Cor. 1:11; Col. 4:15; Phil. 1-2; and 2 John 1:1); Junia the apostle (Rom.16:7), and women like Tryphena, Tryphosa, and Persis who "worked hard in the Lord" (Rom. 16:12). To "work hard in the Lord" is how Paul describes his own missionary work.
Women were also at the forefront of recovering the contributions of women throughout church history. Here are a few examples:
Continue reading...Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 9, 2009 | Comments (7)
Leading in a Complaining Culture
June 5, 2009 |
One of the most taxing things one encounters when mothering a three-year old boy is the whining: the use of an annoyingly complaining voice. One would think - and many experts assert - that if a child is never given the item for which he whines and is always required to rephrase his request politely, the behavior would eventually be extinguished. But no such luck in our household. Our myriad anti-whining strategies have met with no real success to date.
In a recent chat with a close mom friend about parenting our preschoolers, I raised our whining dilemma. What else could I try to stop it? Was there no solution (and if not, could my sanity be preserved)? After listening for a while my friend gently - and correctly - pointed out that I was, in essence, whining about my son's whining problem.
Complaining, in essence, is saying: "This isn't working out for me. I'm annoyed that I don't have - or am not getting - what I want right now." It's what my kid‘s doing when he asks for a drink in an unhappy voice. And it's what I'm doing when I'm telling my friend that ongoing effort to address this parenting challenge is killing me.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 5, 2009 | Comments (8)
Confessions of a Finite Follower
June 2, 2009 |
"How long will it be before I am better?" I asked a trusted mentor and advisor. He thought for a moment and replied, "If you are really careful, I expect you'll be somewhat recovered and almost back to normal in about eight months." I blinked in disbelief. Eight months? It was not the answer I wanted or expected. A week, a month, at most, but eight months? It didn't seem possible; he must be mistaken.
For the last three years, I had been following God's call and pursuing a doctorate degree at Talbot Theological Seminary. In addition to my full-time studies, I worked at least fifty hours a week teaching, mentoring and advising students at a neighboring university, and running my own writing and editing business. Somewhere in the midst of that crazy schedule, I still found time to spend with my husband and run or hike 30 to 40 miles a week. Each day, I woke up pulsating with energy, ready to tackle the day and the ever-growing list of to-do items in my Franklin-Covey planner. I was fueled by my passion for learning, my love for students, and my commitment to communicate God's truth in ways that would be meaningful to others.
But in the last few months, I had grown weary. I was more than exhausted; I was tired straight down to the marrow in my bones. My passion was running dry and my patience and compassion for others waned. My relationship with God suffered. I couldn't hear his voice as clearly and or sense his presence as often. Sleep did not revitalize me and the old self-renewal tricks like weekend getaways and nature hikes did not restore me.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on June 2, 2009 | Comments (4)
