Gifted for Leadership: Weary of the Gender Wars

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June 26, 2009

Weary of the Gender Wars

by by Nancy Parkhurst Leafblad

I grew up in the faith while "Onward Christian Soldiers" was still regularly sung at church. However, due to the Viet Nam War, it lost its appeal as we were bombarded with the images of war on the nightly news. I learned very quickly that war is costly: two members of my church youth group were killed within months of each other.

Then, through my reading of Scripture and the teaching I sat under, I came to understand that when I accepted Christ as my Savior, I entered a spiritual war against the forces of evil. I could expect persecution and rejection on many different levels. I accepted this as part of the cost of following the Lord Jesus. What I didn't know then, and would not come to understand until years later, was I also had been conscripted into a battle within the church that has now come to be known as the "Gender Wars," the women-in-ministry debate.

In the June 2008 issue of Christianity Today (GFL's sister publication), a pair of articles were published under the title, "Wounds of a Friend," one addressing complimentarians ; the other, egalitarians. Because I am in vocational ministry, these articles drew my attention---either because of a sadistic curiosity to see what's being said about women like me or an eternal hope that perhaps the discussion might change.

I was surprised when I found myself somewhat encouraged by the article directed at complimentarians, but was disappointed at what the egalitarian representative wrote. Sadly, the discussion has not changed and in many ways it seems that now both sides are reaching in ridiculous directions to make their arguments fresh and new when in fact the discussion is old and tiring.

The trouble with these debates between members of the academy is they have no basis in reality. As a ministry practitioner, I do not look to the current political liberal thought, as was suggested in one of the articles, to determine where my place is in ministry, although there are those who presume I do because of my gender. The Lord God, not some current thought, determined my place when he called me apart to serve him. I'll stand with Paul on that. (See Galatians 1:15,16.)

Reality for most women in ministry also does not speak of "rights." We serve because we cannot do otherwise. I mean: who would willingly place themselves in a position of being targeted at every turn without being compelled to do so by their desire to serve the Lord God? But the academy continues to keep the war going through a debate that is far from the reality of most women in vocational ministry.

Personally, the women-in-ministry debate became a reality during my second theology course in seminary. We were discussing the Doctrine of the Church when my professor stated with great authority that women should not be involved in passing on the faith. I couldn't believe what I heard. So in a moment of reacting rather than a thoughtful response, I asked him to repeat his statement. He repeated exactly what I had heard: women should not be involved. That statement led to a 30-minute "discussion" in class with this man who had shared just two weeks earlier that his grandmother had led him to faith. I stood at one point to be face to face with him, and he merely stepped to one side and spoke to the men who were sitting behind me. I sat down at that point and had the first taste of many more similar situations to come. I had been fully conscripted into an unwanted and previously unknown war.

Ten years after that first introduction to the gender debate, I'm tired of the discussion. I'm tired of being cautious around ministry staff that I do not know, not trusting how they'll receive me. I'm tired of having to justify the call God has placed on my life to serve him in a pastoral role. I'm tired of having my gifts denied, often buried, because I am made in God's image as a woman and not as a man. I'm tired of church boards who send young women into war-torn Sudan, but tell that same woman she cannot serve with them on the board. I'm tired of being boxed into a certain theological camp based solely on my gender and not on any discussion with me.

I had the privilege of serving under the ministry of a world-renowned pastor for 25 years. We talked many times about this debate and our conversations helped me through those first rough times of attack. I asked him once why he didn't speak out for women in ministry because he was so clearly supportive. His response surprised me. He told me he didn't want to be marked by the issue, as many others had been; rather, he wanted to be known to preach Christ and quietly address divisive issues through example. I wish I had that luxury because whether I like it or not, the "gender war" follows me everywhere.

If the church is going to be about the work of the Kingdom, the war has to stop. God has, does, and will continue to call faithful women and men to serve him in many different capacities: apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers (Ephesians 4:11). A kingdom, or church, divided against herself will never stand. One of the Gender War articles noted, "when God calls a woman to step forward she is to step forward, regardless of how others respond" (CT, June 2008, P.41). I do agree with this statement and as long as the Lord allows, I will continue to serve him. That's reality.

Comments

Thank you so much for this article. As young woman who is just beginning to enter into ministry, your statement, "We serve because we cannot do otherwise" certainly rang true for me. I pray that more people, women and men alike, will come to see the futility and sometimes just plain sinfulness of the Gender Wars.

Yes. I've done a lot of reading this week from both "camps." It's disheartening. It seems that everyone is more concerned about proving their point & having it all figured out instead of loving God & loving & serving others. Oftentimes we are more concerned about being right than the gospel.

This post has struck a chord in me. I just graduated from Denver Seminary with an MDiv. My experiences in school were disheartening. I was tired of the war halfway through and was ready to quit, but God wouldn't let me. He reminded me that He called me and that He would provide the place for me to serve, despite how others perceive me. It is in Him I place my confidence.

So as I step forward, applying for pastoral positions and being rejected left and right, I try not to let myself think that it's because I'm a woman. If I do, I may want to quit. Instead, I keep serving as a volunteer trusting I will serve vocationally someday. I do it because I can do nothing else. God's call has not given me that option.

Thank you for this post. We are not alone.

I too am simply weary of the sometimes ludicrous arguments that surround this issue - and consequently me as well. At times I feel like the church regards women in ministry as it's biggest enemy that must be defended against at all costs - and I have to wonder what is so frightening about a female leading? It will take men speaking out as advocates to truly address this issue - and I'd love to see more do so.

I wonder where we'll be in 20 years when this current generation of young women feel distanced from the church because of this attitude? It's my opinion that they will not stand for what they see as downright sexism and the church will begin to lack volunteers and missionaries as a result. We will have a new crisis within the church.

But bottom line for me - the attitudes many times simply are not Christ-like. They do not model the unity and love Jesus spoke so passionately about before His death. That makes me sad.

Hi Nancy, thanks so much for writing this! As a woman in ministry to other women, I resonate with much of what you wrote because it seems I have to qualify so much of what I say when I say it. "Weary" is exactly the word I apply to where I am in this debate as well. As a complementarian, I embrace my egalitarian friends in ministry knowing full well that there are many theological differences within the body of Christ that are the source of far less division than the "gender war." If as much energy was spent on padeo- vs. believer's baptism, we would never get the work of ministry done.

No matter a woman's perspective on this debate, seminary can be a very trying experience--but I still encourage women to enroll.

Timothy's grandmother and mother (Lois and Eunice) were applauded by Paul for passing on their legacy of faith to Timothy. Fortunately we have plenty of examples from scripture to trust. So much more to be said on the issue, thanks for starting this conversation!

Hi Nancy,

First let me begin by saying, instead of egalities the word should be "Legalities". I say this because this is outright legalism and we're dealing with a Sadducee/Pharisee spirit in the body of Christ.We as sisters in Christ see the stumbling blocks,but we will use them as stepping stones to fulfill the call of God on our lives. We are visionaries and our God doesn't just want to "use" us, He wants us to be "useable". He has put a "Yes" in our spirit and what God has "blessed" no man can "curse".

Continue to speak life to your vision and watch it become a reality, be encouraged we have "Jesus" in the boat with us,hallelujah!

Dear Nancy,

The trouble with the article CT published, entitled "Wounds from a Friend," is that the woman representing egalitarians, is not one herself. Perhaps that is why the article was not satisfying to you. But, from your own admission, you are troubled by the gender bias in the church. Yet, this is precisely what egalitarians redress from a biblical perspective. For more information on the egalitarian position see Christians for Biblical Equality www.cbeinternational.org

Thanks for this post. I think brothers and sisters in Christ would agree that to be called to ministry is just that: a call. We are compelled because Christ compels us. Our hearts are there because He wants us there. It is not gender, but gift that determines our call. How effective would we be if taught this ministry gender standard as gospel for right living? Every employee that my husband manages in his job is a woman. If I acted like the church sometimes does about that, I would assume the worst. However, I trust him in his work, just as he trusts me in my professional ministry relationships with men. I pray that our churches would come to understand the importance of men and women serving together...unified.

Nancy,

You might find it interesting to have a man respond, but a woman in my congregation has asked for my thoughts on your post and I thought that perhaps this would be the best place to give them.

I find your article troubling for the basic fact that while you claim not to be in either camp your rationale for your ministry practice is clearly egalitarian.

Your affirmation for your place in ministry is based upon your subjective understanding of where God has 'placed' you, not upon the clear teaching of God's Word.

Please note that I don't believe that this is a matter of your gifting, rather a matter of how God would have you use your gift.

You mention that the debate has no basis in reality; I would ask what reality you are talking about. The reality of God's Word, or the reality of your experience?

The complementarian-egalitarian debate has been very helpful in recent years, if for nothing else to bring about what we see today; the argument, to a large degree no longer surrounds the Biblical text. Most egalitarians have given up on winning this argument.

The debate now has turned to if the Biblical text is truly relevant today. Apparently for you, as for many others, it is not.

The consequences of this are not only sad, but dangerous. My prayer is that the Lord will lead us to trust more in His Word than in our subjective understanding.

Well, it is clear in the world of blogging that misunderstanding can take place! Let me say to Chris: I am very much an egalitarian; I never present otherwise. We could get into all the biblical texts, but that was not the purpose of my response to the articles presented in CT last year. The point is, I'm just weiry of the debate. To make the assumption that I do not value or derive my direction from the biblical text is exactly the kind of assumptions that are being made and that I was addressing. There are gifted biblical scholars on both sides of the issue and that's why the argument continues, and it continues around the Word of God, despite what Chris might think.

My egalitarian beliefs are firmly rooted in scripture. I believe that scripture always relevant and should be our primary source for guidance in any issue.

I have struggled with this for many years, and nearly abandoned my faith over it. I have spent a lot of time researching both sides of this debate. I often choose not to engage in it because it often devolves to devaluing women and posturing for position, for which I have little tolerance. And, yes, I'm tired of defending myself and my femaleness. I pray that my daughter won't have to, but I plan to prepare her for the reality that things might not change that much.

When the complentarian view demeans the giftedness, calling, and personhood of women, how can I not take that personally? If I truly believed that God created women to be inferior in position to men, to be less than simply because of their gender, to be less of an imagebearer of God than men, I would probably choose not to serve that God. A statement for which I fully expect to be attacked in future comments: let the arrows fly.

The "gender war" in Christianity & ministry has everything to do with how the Bible is treated. Chris Carr, and most Complementarians, treat the Bible as an instruction manual and as little else. Egalitarians have the sense to acknowledge that there are parts of the Bible that need contextualization and ought not be followed today. If you call me a heretic, I sure as heck hope you don't wear clothes made of more than one material. Because if you do, you're either an idiot or a hypocrite for accusing me. For you too contextualize scripture. All Christians do.

When Paul gives his harsh instructions regarding women in ministry, it's plain as day that there are cultural ramifications involved, and that these texts make no sense when attempting to apply them today. Why does Paul not give any explanation for God's decision to make Deborah a Judge? What about the women in ministry that Paul himself works with and gives his greetings to (see: the end of Romans)?

Reality, and the universe as God made it, cannot be crammed into a book. Not even the Good Book. Quit worshipping the Bible, and start worshipping God.

I, too, am so weary of the gender wars!

Can't believe we're still talking about this in 2009, but here we are. Although I do see some gradual acceptance of women in ministry (in the younger generation).

How great it would be to see real reconciliation between men and women. We have reconciliation between races and nationalities...why not between men and women? ("C'mon, Promise Keepers...where are you??") Now that would be revival!

I have a theory: Sometimes when I speak (for instance on a Sunday morning when there are men and women) I see a wariness in some men's eyes. (Fear?) Okay, maybe I'm a rotten speaker, but here's my theory: Men are most vulnerable to women. Their mothers, their lovers, their wives. Women can have profound influence over them...and in order to keep from being hurt, men have to protect their turf, dominate. Put the sign over the club door: "No Girls Allowed."(Cloaked in Scripture).

But oh...we know how to retaliate. Manipulate. Things get ugly. We leave the church, quit trying. Or stuff it, quit speaking out, and show up, but slowly die inside. Meanwhile, the church nor the cause of Christ, nor suffering and lost humanity is served.

("Jesus, show us how to get past the gender wars. Send your Holy Spirit to break through!")

Nancy,
You tackled this topic admirably. It is interesting if we reflect on Jesus and His relationship with women, His acceptance of their ministries. I think of the women who used her expensive perfume to bathe His feet, the criticism of the pharisee who witnessed it and Jesus rebuke.(Luke 7.36-50) I think of Martha & Mary, Priscilla,Dorcas & others whose ministries were all pleasing to the King of Kings.
Mary

Chris, I hope that you are still following this blog. It would be interesting to hear your rationale for responding to a personal request for opinion by posting it as a response here. Have you had a follow-up conversation with the woman in your church? Do you have any idea of how your response and method of response has impacted her? Does she feel affirmed by you, or does she feel "put in her place"? I certainly have no idea, since I don't know either of you, so that's why I'm wondering out loud.
I was troubled, too, by your setting up of either/or statements, when those things did not need to be polarized: i.e. experience vs. God's word.
Please, please understand that some of us have done our Scriptural research -- including original text, etc. -- and without using contextualization, we have come to a different conclusion than you have. I personally do not feel animosity towards those of other convictions, nor do I feel the need to attempt to change anyone's mind. But I do believe and am willing to state that for a true believer, it is always better to obey God!
God bless you in your ministry --
Brenda

The responses to my original article are most helpful. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

The professor was correct. Jesus had no female disciples, and women are following Satan today, in the footsteps of Lilith...Jezebel. They have no place in ministry, and men do not want to listen to women who are trying to usurp and become dominant..over male authority. God ordainted gender to be what it is..complementary. Women who oppose God's laws oppose nature. If this woman wanted to 'serve' she can become a Nun or serve in ministry as part of the Church. Her argumentative nature, as illustrated in her arguments with authority figures (eg. professor) likely started in a childhood with a missing father or an overbearing mother. Her arguments are baseless, and thats because her mindset is her own. This article is as biased at the NYTimes would be on Wall Street bailouts... she fails to recognize that the absolute majority of males are wholly opposed to secular feminist dogma infecting the Church... and females trying to push their way into religion as well, have indeed joined the rebellion against God. I find it unbelieveable that a woman, who is opposing God's ordained laws finds herself 'entitled' to minister...in the name of Jesus. If Jesus had intended this to be the way then he would have had a female disciple at the head of his following..instead of Peter. And perhaps it would have been "Pauline on the road to Damascus"...instead it was Paul. WE do not have a need for your gender warfare madame. In fact is it simply an aspect of your own unresolved issues that you never truly came face to face with. If you had met Jesus on the road, he would have asked you to kindly step aside, because you were arguing with him, while he was delivering his Sermon ... to those who were listening. Your argumentative nature is what led you to opposing male authority in the Church, and now you are part of the problem.. not part of the solution. If you want to be part of the solution, it is to take your rightful place as a female, in the body of Christ, in the Church as you were designed and ordained to do, and to call it oppression is Satan's device to lead you astray.

It is very disheartening to hear females claim they are entitled to all of male domain, while pretending also to be entitled to all of female domain. It is disgusting and rooted in Satan's rebellion... which has also infected the Church, including letting homosexuals teach their sick doctrines... and so how do you plead there ? Do you think a female lesbian who preached sodomy is just a-okay should be ministering to the masses ? Where do you draw the line ? If you say that is not okay you must agree with Biblical doctrine that homosexuality is sinful... and then you are rejecting the parts you dislike...like the part about male authority and female participation in ministry, which you have concluded isn't what you want. It is highly likely that Satan's call to Eve to deceive her first will always be his route to destroying Adam... and you are simply part of this deception. Come to real terms wiht Christ and you will accept that you are in need of power, control and authority and worship...not of service. You have not served Jesus in the way in which he asked you to do...which is to serve husband, and child and family.. NOT to minister and oppose male authority.

The harlot riding the charge in the book of revelation represents the Bride of Satan...which is feminism..which is the destruction of femininity and the downward fall of mankind...

Stop the Gender War against men and boys, before it becomes so ugly that all that will be left is a landscape of desolation...and the end result will be disastrous for the female. Society is already halfway there. When male police officers no longer want to protect women from crime b/c they too are simply sick of feminism and having been robbed of their own happiness, you will see the end result of feminism in its entirety..with an increase of abuse, rape and sexual misues of women, who no longer have a male protectorate, and will also have lost the protection of secular laws designed to split Eve from Adam and listening to Satan...for in the end the Father of Lies, the Son of Perdition intends to enslave Eve in his own Hell... and this is what feminism has produced. Hell on Earth.

I wholly disagree with this woman's rant. She is part of the sickness, not the solution. Amazing how Satan penetrates the Church using females who themselves believe they are doing service to Christ ! Blasphemers.

Hello..
What a fantastic article! It is for the work of men and women after His own heart that has inspired and encouraged so many of us in the younger generation. I will surely bookmark it for future use. Good Work! Keep it up!
Thank you very much for sharing this.

Why stay if you're not welcome? My denomination has been ordaining women to full ministry for over 40 years. My pastor is a bright, articulate woman who preaches the Law and Gospel winsomely every Sunday. She has a passion for lost souls that is simply indefatigable. She is also a saved follower of Jesus Christ - not Satan, not Lilith ... Jezebel despite what some presumptuous, spiritually arrogant people might say. Women have been pastors in my denomination since before I was born so all this talk of 'gender wars' is a non-issue for me.

Thanks Nancy... fantastic summation of what is to all of us who know the call of God on our lives. And I agree with a previous writer who says, 'why stay if you're not welcome?'... my network of churches also recognises women in any role provided they clearly have the anointing for it, the same as with guys.

Thank for useful post. As a young woman who is just starting to their career. We serve because we can not do otherwise" probably rang true for me. I pray that more people, women and men, will be the opportunity to see the futility of sin

It seems a valuable statement but I think the problem is not only in the church. Although women gained much ground, it is hard to let go of a thought macho realm for years and still today we can see in the mainstream culture in some respects. If we add rules and tradition of the church, insurance is further complicated by the secrecy in which their decisions are handled.

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