Disarming for Jesus
October 9, 2009 |
I have a confession to make. I like pop music.
And not just the Miley Cyrus, High School Musical flavor. I like the beat thumping, chorus humming, and—dare I say it—booty-shaking kind. There it is. I am a woman in my early 30s, with three children and a minivan. I run a Christian counseling practice and a women’s ministry. People look to me for soul direction and depth, and in my spare time, I like to dance around and get low, low, low.
The best part? I think that’s OK with Jesus.
My senior pastor plays tennis on a team with my husband’s co-worker. Last week, the team finished a game and had some beers in a cooler. One of them offered my pastor a beer and (gasp!) he took it. Later, the co-worker told my husband that he cringed because his teammate must not have known he was offering a beer to a pastor. The co-worker reported. “Wow, I was surprised he had a beer with us. That’s cool.”
The door is open for my husband to invite his co-worker to our church, because he is disarmed—experiencing something that goes against his preconceived notions of Christianity. I think that’s OK with Jesus too.
The dictionary tells me that to “disarm” is to deprive of a weapon or remove the fuse. The word also means to relieve suspicion or win affection. I wonder about the suspicions people have toward Christians, and therefore Christianity: They judge me. They are better than I am. They won’t approve of me. I won’t fit in with their religion. They are all serious and no fun.
When I read the gospels, I think Jesus used this method. We know he hung around enough parties for the Pharisees to accuse him of being a drunkard. We know he befriended and taught forbidden women, despised men and pesky children.
I think the Jesus way was to disarm those around him while still being true to his mission. He interacted with culture and people so he could introduce them to his Father. He lived his life in a way that broke through stereotypes and communicated God, as he is— approachable, merciful and graceful. The people who were most upset by Jesus were the ones who preferred the status quo—the rules of the religion.
The women I talk with often tell me they will find a church “when they are good.” I usually laugh and tell them I’m still waiting to be good enough for church, but thankfully, that’s not what all churches are about. Sometimes an entire conversation with a teenager will be devoted to the current fashion and drama of the week—and then we talk about God. Disarming, isn’t it? The concept of living a free and joyful life with Jesus may seem like a basic concept for you. But is that what your neighbors think, the ones who haven’t been in church since their feet could hit the floor from the pew?
When we live our lives authentically, joyfully, and in a real-people kind of way, those around us are disarmed. They are surprised. They encounter a kind of “religion” that doesn’t fit their status quo.
It is tempting to become more invested at church and less interested in the secular world around us. It feels as comfortable as sweatpants to hang out with people who believe and feel as we do. Fellowship among believers is a wonderful gift and necessary component of our faith. But if we are truly to follow Jesus’ example, we need to look for opportunities to engage and disarm those around us. We must seek the balance in our life for the dual imperatives of holiness and relevance. When we live our lives to the full, in joy and freedom, we are disarming. We are real. And we win affection for Christ.
Have you experienced disarming someone for Christ? How do you engage in your culture without diluting Christ’s message or falling into your own sinful patterns?
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on October 9, 2009
Comments
think you are right on Nicole with our actions living up to the actions of Christ. i think the bottom line however, falls under heart issues for ones actions. Many people take the can of beer for a challenge or to "prove" their freedom and not because they have a heart for the lost. Others have a need to feel accepted by the younger crowd and focus on things of the day rather than Scripture or biblical discussion so they can "feel" godly. I have seen both of these in action. Proverbs 4:23 is so imperative to the intention of actions. thank you for the challenge to step outside the box.
Posted by: Denise on October 10, 2009
I agree with your main idea. A Christian does have liberty in Christ. Often Christians miss this and judge others for things that are not sinful. I'm glad you are writing about how we have freedom as believers.
This subject can quickly lose balance. Either we can become too focused on our liberties and miss striving for holiness, or we can be so focused on our good behavior that we become self-righteous, prideful, and judgmental. This article does a great job of helping the believer to remember our freedom in Christ.
In order to bring balance to this subject, I'd like to point out two things.
1) The article states, "But if we are truly to follow Jesus’ example, we need to look for opportunities to engage and disarm those around us." Yes, as long as we are not disarming those around us by being like them. When they stop thinking we are "strange", it's a sign that something is not right. Remember Peter's words, "They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you" 1 Peter 4:4.
2)You mentioned that an unbeliever might think: "I won’t fit in with their religion." That is absolutely true. They won't fit in with true Christianity. They won't fit in with the holy standard God requires. As much as we want the unsaved to come to Christ, we must NEVER forget that "without holiness no one will see the Lord" Heb. 12:14. That is why God requires repentance.
I remember talking to an unsaved friend of mine who kept telling me, "I just need to clean up my life and then I'll come to church." And I told him, "You can't become a Christian by cleaning up your life. We are saved by grace through faith, not of works. Once you are saved, then you will be able to clean up your life, because you will no longer be a slave to sin."
I'll conclude with one final passage: " - 2Cr 2:15-16 "For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task?" In other words, we smell like death to the unsaved. And if we don't stink--if unbelievers are not reminded of their need to be reconciled to God by us--then we are not emitting enough of the smell of Christ.
Posted by: Katie on October 12, 2009
Thank you Katie, for such a thoughtful answer to an important subject. It truly is about finding the balance. I think Jesus has the last word on this when he points us to the heart behind our actions. I think we 'stink' the most when we do things in order to get attention, in order to "appear" either holy or relevant. Either way, we've lost the freedom aspect of life in Christ.
Final point on fitting in: seekers in churches are too often turned off by "religion" and not be the true aroma of Christ, which in my opinion would be the gracious love with which they are received. Any mother has experienced this: when their child is reminded of right and wrong, and still stubbornly refused to accept a hug or a smile from the discipliner.
If we focus on fixing our eyes on Jesus, and finding life in Him, we are free to impact this world the way he intended, whether through tennis matches, dance parties or theological discussions.
Posted by: Nicole Unice on October 14, 2009
In response to Denise, who suggested that "many people take the can of beer for a challenge or to 'prove' their freedom," I would suggest that the appropriate reason for a Christian to take the can of beer is thirst or a need for refreshment.
The kind of simplicity we're called to requires us to answer to only God. Jesus, for one, doesn't (in my reading of the Gospels) appear to spend much time thinking about how to present a positive image.
I was raised to "be above reproach" and to worry about the impression I was making on non-believers, but as I've matured, I've found that Nicole's argument is spot on. We're never more appealing to non-believers than when we are fully, transparently ourselves. Any attempt to manipulate how others perceive us isn't being "above reproach" or maintaining a positive witness. It's living a lie -- which is what the world has come to expect from the Church.
Posted by: Rob G on October 14, 2009
Thank you. I loved reading this. The responses drive it home for me though. So much judgement!!
Christ loves us - all of us. He meets us where we are and helps us to be better.
I don't want to go to church with a bunch of pew warmers pretending to be perfect and looking down at me because I didn't have time to press my blouse and my kids need their hair combed.
I want to be with people who are honest about their failings and can help me forgive myself for mine as Christ does. (The important ones, not the dusty iron.)
My church is full of sinners and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I strive to disarm people with my humor and kindness. I'm lucky enough to live in a very diverse (age, race, economic status,etc) and I approach everyone I meet with a smile and a heart hoping to help them. (I return people's shopping carts, pick up trash in their yard, offer a tissue when they sneeze, share cheerios with a mom who ran out. Tiny things)
Sometimes we get to Jesus, often we don't. I think he's ok with that too.
Posted by: Jennifer on October 21, 2009
Thank you Nicole for having the boldness to step out of the box. The points you make are points that I am passionate about, having the persusion that we, as Christians, need to identify with the non-believers exactly where they're at, not where we believe they should be. We need to be transparent and real and mostly, we need to be lead and motivated entirely by the love of Christ. The love of God is what is going to reach the lost - not a 'doctrine' or set of 'rules'. The Apostle Paul said he became 'all things to all people' in an attempt to win them over to Christ. It was obvious that Paul had nothing but pure love in his heart for the lost. There are so, so many scriptures that speak of our liberty and freedom in Christ. There is NO LAW against love. I believe as we allow the Holy Spirit to move and love through us, that's when people will truly see Jesus, as oversimplified as that may sound. The longer I'm with the Lord, the more I see that LOVE is the key. God's love is described in 1Cor 13. We need to get God out of the religious box we've put Him in and give Him the freedom to live and love through us.
Posted by: Michelle on October 24, 2009