Juggling Casseroles and a Calling
January 13, 2010 |
I preached a sermon several weeks ago. A big one for me. The biggest of my life actually. And while I do my very best not to mess up on a regular basis, we all know that some occasions press a little harder on your nervous system than others. This was one of them. “Just don’t screw this up,” I kept whispering to myself.
Of course, other, more important thoughts about preaching God’s Word also ran through my jittery little mind. Thoughts that reminded me this was really God’s sermon, not my opportunity to ramble. That the Spirit of God would use any effort, even a disjointed one, to work in people’s hearts. That less of me and more of God was all that anyone needed anyway.
And as I lived into all of these realities, I found myself in a fairly calm rhythm the night before my sermon. But what I slammed into that next morning, was the odd world that many women in ministry inhabit on a regular basis.
Like most pastors I know, I studied. I thought. I prayed. I prepared. I prayed more. And then I was ready to go. But what a woman brings to the pulpit, as we all know, is often so different than what men bring. Not better. Not inferior. Just different. And while I could camp out here on a thousand little theological and social nuances, I’d like to pause for a moment to hit the lighter side of what it takes for, in my case a married, mother of three, to offer a sermon on a Sunday morning.
You see, I woke up that morning and got myself all put together and as presentable as possible. But it so happens that my three children needed my help that morning as well. My husband was a shining star that day, but we are outnumbered. So with sermon notes in one hand and coffee in the other. I tumbled into my daughter’s room with high heels on and a dress I could not stain. Time to wake up the baby.
With a full diaper and snotty grin, she said “Hi, mama.” I delicately lifted her from the crib, careful not to cover my dress nasal goo, and spent a few moments getting her gussied up for church.
Downstairs there were pancakes on the table, two older brothers who needed to find socks and shoes, and a diaper bag to pack. And as my husband did his part, I dashed off to the kitchen to fix a salad and an appetizer for the meal we were sharing with friends after church. I glanced at my notes as I pried open a jar of marinated artichoke hearts and a bag of mozzarella cheese.
I reminded myself of my closing story while I rinsed out a casserole dish and hollered for my sons to stop arguing over trains.
And I laughed. “Do male pastors do this before church?” Maybe they do. But the ones I know spend less time with diapers than I do. And this is not a criticism, just a statement of reality. My goal here is not to embrace stereotypes, but to simply make a note of these nuances because this is also one of the many facts that reminds me of how deeply we need women in our pulpits.
Who else gets life from this angle other than another woman? How many men in that congregation juggled an appetizer and a career before leaving the house? Just like men understand the mind of a male better than a woman does, a woman proclaiming God’s word with hands that smell like marinated artichokes can hit the heart of another woman in a way men cannot.
I did not preach that morning about casseroles and missing socks. But my heart, my soul, my very presence that morning came from a place that manages those details on a daily basis. It was the Word of God from the perspective of a woman. And we need that in our churches today.
Whether that woman is single, married, is with or without children, or even has a domestic bone in her body is not the point. The point is that women have stories to tell about life and God, just as our male partners on the journey do. The chance to preach from their perspectives is honoring God’s call to the community of Christ.
We need both genders in the pulpit because God gave us all different stories, paths, and morning routines. And we can learn so much from those in our own high heel shoes, and from those in wing tips sitting next to us if we simply give one another the opportunity to speak. And then, follow that up by honoring that journey by listening.
Posted by Caryn Rivadeneira on January 13, 2010
Comments
Preach on sister. I have repeated to myself--and my pastor--that women bring a feminine perspective to teaching. It's not necessarily the teaching that's different, it's our lives breath together with God-breathed scriptures. Instead of illustrations from Golf Magazine (true story), it's stories from the messy, multitasked lives of women. And, for more than half of our congregation, that's another way for them to "get it" with God. Not better. Not worse. Different.
Preach on, sister.
Posted by: Nicole Unice on January 14, 2010
Earlier this week I attended a co-ed Bible study. It's been awhile. I listened to men and women share and spent considerable time analyzing it, and I came to this conclusion: It's not so much what women say, it's how we say it.
We (I!) tend to use too many words to tell a story or share a point. We weave in irrelevant (albeit interesting to us) details. As a writer, I've learned to write tight. As a speaker, I only have so much time. I want my words to count.
I'm trying to incorporate this into my everyday speech as well. I want to be heard - by both men and women. We need to make sure our stories and illustrations make - and get to - a point.
Posted by: Rebecca Stuhlmiller on January 15, 2010
Great article Tracy. Rebecca, I can't agree with you. I've been in church for 35 years and been in ministry as a pastor and preacher for 30 of those years. I have found men and women to be inclined to use too many words for their story AND weave irrelevant details in their stories.
However, men are less aware of themselves and more inclined to be confident in their incompetence, whereas women tend to be more apologetic and less sure of what they are sharing.
In fact, women and men can both be outstanding preachers, if they will do as you suggest, which is to write tight... and speak tight. We need all the good preachers we can get, but too often women don't get the practice so their incompetence can be glaring.
Posted by: Bev Murrill on January 15, 2010
This is a wonderful way to encourage, engage and evangelize. I dare not add another word but thank you
Posted by: WysWoods10 on January 15, 2010
I hope you will read this because I want you to know that a heart is crying out
thanks to the Lord for this message. You have been mightily used in expressing a truth...and truth changes lives...I am praying God's blessing upon you as I type this.
Posted by: Christina Carter on January 16, 2010
A perfect example why women do not belong pastor/Elder role.
Posted by: F. Hamilton on January 18, 2010
Women absolutely belong in the role of pastor. The verses that supposedly limit women's roles were speaking to a certain situation that existed at a certain point in time, much like Paul's verses to slaves. Now, you don't think Paul was advocating slavery, do you? Anyway F. Hamilton, thanks so much for raining on a great article.
Posted by: K. on January 18, 2010
Preach on sister, and F. Hamilton you should read the stand that the Assemblies of God has taken on women pastors.
Posted by: Jasmin on January 18, 2010
For what it's worth, there are a few of us men juggling the same issues. I work part-time in ministry and take care of my two preschoolers the rest of the time, while their mother works full-time to pay the bills. It's maddening sometimes to have your all-important calling interrupted by diapers and fevers and sleep deprivation, but I have to remind myself that the kids are my even more important calling.
Posted by: Steve on January 20, 2010
Help me understand, F. Hamilton. Your logic escapes me. Because a woman has to juggle other responsibilities, she shouldn't be a pastor? Who, then, should be a pastor/elder? Only people who don't have a family or any other obligations? I'd much rather hear a sermon from a person, be it a man or a woman, who understands the day-to-day struggles of life, than from someone who is somehow not involved in all of that. Are you saying that only person qualified to be a pastor is not just male, but a man who never gets involved with caring for his children, cooking or cleaning, etc.? Or maybe only single men should be pastors? (I don't think that's biblical, either). Please explain your thinking.
Posted by: Keri Wyatt Kent on January 28, 2010
Hi pastor, I totally agree with all that you have written. Being a pastor myself, it was like you were feeding me a favourit dish of mine. God is the One who calls to ministry, and He has not changed his mind in calling, preparing, anointing, and using women whom He has equally valued likewise, to reveal Himself in loving, caring, showing compassion for both men, women and children. The Scriptures declare, there is neither male nor female in Christ, for we are all one.
Posted by: Abigail Taylor on February 3, 2010