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May 5, 2010Honoring Moms in a Whole New Way
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Last month, I guest-lectured in a Women’s Studies class at Bethel University. My topic was How Motherhood Shapes a Woman’s Soul, but I ended up talking more about how motherhood sort of mirrors God, how being a mom (or hearing from moms) helps us understand God, his relentless love, his willingness to forgive and his patience with the whiney little complainers that we are.
Frankly, I was amazed at how engaged the women (and man) in the class were. I’m used to talking about issues maternal, but usually it’s to moms. Not to 21-year-old college seniors. But either these students were actually interested or exceptionally polite. I prefer to assume the former. After my lecture, we even had a lively round of Q&A. They asked lots of great questions, but two have really stayed with me.
The first that stuck was: “Why would anyone want to have kids?”
And the other was: “Why haven’t we ever heard this before? Why is it that I’ve gone to church my whole life and never once heard that moms might have special insight into God that should be shared?”
The first question made me laugh (and made me realize perhaps I ought to be guest-lecturing in abstinence classes!). The second question made me want to cry.
While I sort of fumbled through the answer to why one would want to have kids (because my desire to have kids came suddenly, mystically, in an unexplainable, primal, out-of-the-blue sort of way), I did better with the second question.
I told her I figured we didn’t hear much about it in churches because women haven’t been doing a lot of the talking in churches—at least in the history of the American church. And since the Bible routinely refers to God in fatherly images and since men are usually the ones doing the talking, it’s just easier to focus on the “fatherly-ness” of God. But this isn’t to say we don’t have reason to talk about God’s motherly-ness, as well. It’s even biblical. There are plenty of nurturing, mother-ish images of God throughout Scripture. Jesus even refers to himself as a mother hen. And heck, even Paul describes himself as a nursing mother. Not that he’s God, but he was comfortable with the comparison.
Throughout much of church history, I am told, the motherly images of God were common. Julian of Norwich has this beautiful hymn, which now may seem jarring, even scandalous, but apparently in the 14th century, it would’ve been seen as apropos. It goes like this:
Mothering God, you gave me birth in the bright morning of this world. Creator, source of every breath, you are my rain, my wind, my sun.
Mothering Christ, you took my form, offering me your food of light, grain of life, and grape of love, your very body for my peace.
Mothering Spirit, nurturing one, in arms of patience hold me close, so that in faith I root and grow until I flow'r, until I know.
Lovely, right? But why do I write all this? What’s my point? Well, this Sunday is Mother’s Day, that always makes me nervous—at least about church. I always get nervous about how women might be made to feel like motherhood is a woman’s highest calling, and I get nervous for women who long to be mothers but who aren’t, and I don’t like how we always seem to get a “girl” sermon that day (my church is doing Ruth. Yours?).
However, the question I got in that class made me think of why we should be celebrating Mother’s Day in church and how far the church has to go yet in how we “handle” motherhood. How we talk about it, how we honor it and how we let it become something through which others can see God. I think we need to reclaim and reveal what our church fathers and mothers once understood: that motherhood has something to teach us about God.
I think it’s up to us, women leaders of the church, to make sure that mothers aren’t honored simply because it’s hard work, simply because it’s a high calling, simply because it’s a wonderful and crucial job, but because we do have something to share about who God is. Because it’s one of the many experiences of life that God “gifts” us with that do help us understand his heart better. Heck, even the longing for a child—that desperation any woman who’s struggled with infertility other circumstances that prevent her from having kids understands—shares something so sweet with the heart of our God who longs for us to love him
So if you are a mother or you have a mother, take it as part of your call as a woman leader this Mother’s Day to honor moms in a new way—and that is, by giving voice to what motherhood teaches us about the heart of our own mothering God.
What do you think?
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Comments
Amen, sister. That'll preach.
why, indeed, have Christians not heard the insights that motherhood provides into the heart of God?
It's because we've traded truth for conformity, and created God in our image--or a white, male, image. Many churches would label Julian's beautiful prayer as heresy. When I mention God's motherly qualities, I often get raised eyebrows.
Great post and I can't wait to see the discussion on this.
Posted By: Keri Wyatt Kent | May 5, 2010 7:44 PM
I would be more inclined to take your article more seriously if you weren't using the word "heck" in it. I am not offended by it, but it does take away from the professional quality of your article and thoughts. It also leaves me less inclined to share this with anyone.
Posted By: Leslie | May 7, 2010 10:11 AM
I agree with a lot of what you said and appreciate your comments. By the way, heck doesn't offend me or make me think you less professional, just real. I'm teaching a special women's class in our worship center that we hope to fill with women on Mother's Day. The men are taking over every area that is usually covered by women so all can attend. I am speaking on 2 women who are rarely connected with Mother's Day...Rahab and Bathsheba. Both broken women racked with guilt and mistakes, yet used by God in a powerful way, and in the lineage of Christ. The takeaway? God reaches us where we are, restores us to Him and reproduces Himself in us.
Posted By: Christy | May 7, 2010 10:29 AM
Hi!
Your first paragraph says it all. BUT I'd like to add that we were created in the image and the character of God's 'feminine' side.
As you state, we 'mirror' God, but I'd like to suggest that we can go further with that thought:
We also carry the guide, the teacher, the nurturer and the comforter... the Holy Spirit, which I believe is the feminine side of our amazing tri-une God.
So, whether we are single, married, young or old - no matter what the vocation - we should be so glad that we can be walking along side each other, as examples of His love and winning souls for Christ.
@ Leslie: perhaps you could copy/paste the article and edit what you discern is 'inappropriate' for others to read.
Posted By: Betsy | May 7, 2010 5:39 PM
"We also carry the guide, the teacher, the nurturer and the comforter... the Holy Spirit, which I believe is the feminine side of our amazing tri-une God."
Where do you find this in the Bible? The entire Bible is inspired by God, and I don't recall any verses saying there is a feminine side to our "amazine triune God".
There are lots of things people believe, like Joseph Smith, Mary Baker Eddy, and the list goes on and on, but I stick to the Bible and what it teaches. It alone, is backed by history, archeology, and hundreds of fulfilled prophecies. Otherwise, as the Bible says, we are tossed about by waves, etc.
Posted By: Barbara | May 7, 2010 6:10 PM
I remember the expression on a friends face when I said "God is not a man-right?" He did not know how to respond!!God is not even a "little more" man than woman-He is neither but embodies all of both AND much much more.
Second-I for one feel the church should pay very close attention to the message (not sermon but the real message that is sent by actions and words) on mothers day. Is just having sex and being able to conceive what the church is uplifting? Or is it more-the unselfish love, the service, the pain of parenting? I have a hard time even accepting the candy rose as I remember the days of infertility when I was more than welcomed to serve all over the church including lots and lots of youth and children events but never worthy of the Mothers Day gift. That is why I guess I feel the church should not be celebrating Hallmark days. They should be teaching about men and women walking in their gifts and in service whever the Lord leads. That is what the church should be blessing.
Posted By: trisha | May 8, 2010 6:54 PM
God is spirit. But no matter how feminists may not like it, when JESUS (a man) prayed, He referred to God as "Father". ALL the time. He didn't throw in "mother" once in awhile to make you all happy, sorry. I try to follow Jesus, and that's how He referred to God the Father. The Holy Spirit is referred to as the Holy Spirit, and no feminine pronouns are used either. I'm extremely thankful for a God that loves me and died for me, and chose me as a child of His.
People who want to alter God to make their own type of God, including those who say that God is ONLY a God of love, and has no wrath, or make any changes to who He says He is, are making an idol for themselves, and not honoring the one and only, true God, and therefore would not be saved.
The Bible tells us about God and His attributes. To change Him is to make your own god. It might may you happy here on earth, but you might not be so happy for eternity when you find out you were worshipping someone you made up for yourself, to please yourself.
Why is everyone so self-centered these days? It's all a part of the great delusion or deception predicted to happen in the end times. It's very, very sad. Do you really go to churches that say more than a couple of sentences about mother's day, and that is so offensive to you? You know, it's all about God, not you. Sorry you have to go through those horrible, horrible times. I also went through infertility, took Clomid, lost a pregnanacy at 20 weeks along before I had any children, had to make decisions about burial or not, they took his foot prints, etc, had a tubal pregnancy, a few miscarriages. I just find the selfishness and self-centeredness of some people unbelievable. Heaven forbid some women should be congratulated for their motherhood and all the self-sacrifice that comes with it. Sorry you have to sit through the two sentences given to the day. I think it's time to grow up.
Posted By: Barbara | May 8, 2010 11:12 PM
Barbara, First I am sorry that my post seemed to make you really angry-that was certianly not my intent. I thought this area of CT has been a place of freedom where women can share their experiences and viewpoints and even yes-their frustrations. And that is all I was doing. I do not believe nor even mentioned many of things you discussed-I do not believe in only a God of love, etc. I do however believe there are many areas of SWcripture that are very very feminine and that the fact that Jesus prayed to His Father still does not make the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe of a man. Third, it is no offensive to me personally-I have forgiven some of the bizarre things that have happened to me-but I care enough about my sisters in the church and yes even the unbelievers who sometimes visit that they understand exactly that the Bible calls us to bless people in their gifts, their service, their callings-no matter what-motherhood and fatherhood are one of those but so are so many more for which Hallmark does not have a special day. My most profound spiritual "mothering" outside of my own mother came from 2 women who never had children. Fourth-kindess is a fruit of the spirit we all most show to each other,.
Posted By: trisha | May 9, 2010 8:20 PM
Thank you for clarifying. But yes, I was a little upset that some want to deny that very thing you said "kindness" to mothers, on the one day a year that is set aside for them. It was not started by Hallmark, as some seem to say. It was started in the US in 1870 by Julia Ward Howe, and was originally meant to honor women. And if you want to honor that special person, a teacher, a grandmother, or whatever, this day is perfectly fine to do that, even though there is a day of course, set aside for teachers, grandmothers, you name it. Why not let 99 mothers be happy that one day regardless what I may have gone through or someone else? I am not selfish, I am glad to see others have some well-deserved joy.
Posted By: Barbara | May 9, 2010 9:28 PM
I think my favorite part of this article was how you mentioned that mothers shouldn't be honored just because it's hard work or because motherhood is a higher calling, but because we have something to share about God's love. I had never really thought of it that way before. It makes me even more excited about my work as a mom. I believe God gives all of us insights in different ways about his love, but I think that moms can bring some really important messages about selfless love to not only their children, but other moms and the church. Thanks for the great message and for getting me thinking about how I can share more of what I've learned about God through motherhood with others.
Posted By: Kay | May 12, 2010 9:04 PM
I'm not sure what Bible some are reading, but the female images of God are there in plain black and white. Members of ultra-conservative groups find femaleness so offensive that they overlook these:
Hosea 11:3-4 God described as a mother
God: “Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk, I who took them up in my arms; but they did not know that I healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with bands of love. I was to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks. I bent down to them and fed them.”
Hosea 13:8 God described as a mother bear
"Like a bear robbed of her cubs, I will attack them and tear them asunder...”
Deuteronomy 32:11-12 God described as a mother eagle
“Like the eagle that stirs up its nest, and hovers over its young, God spreads wings to catch you, and carries you on pinions.”
Deuteronomy 32:18 God who gives birth
“You were unmindful of the Rock that bore you; you forgot the God who gave you birth.”
Isaiah 66:13 God as a comforting mother
God: “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.”
Isaiah 49:15 God compared to a nursing mother
God: “Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.”
Isaiah 42:14 God as a woman in labor
God: “For a long time I have held my peace, I have kept myself still and restrained myself; now I will cry out like a woman in labor, I will gasp and pant.”
Jeremiah 44:25 Queen of Heaven
“Thus says…the God of Israel: You and your wives have accomplished in deeds what you declared in words, ‘We are determined to …make offerings to the queen of heaven and to pour out libations to her.’ By all means, keep your vows and make your libations!”
Psalm131:2 God as a Mother
“But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.”
Psalm 123:2-3 God compared to a woman
“As the eyes of a servant looks to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to you, YHWH, until you show us your mercy!”
Matthew 23:37 and Luke 13:34 God as a Mother Hen
Jesus: “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!”
Luke 15:8-10 God as woman looking for her lost coin
Jesus: “Or what woman having ten silver coins, is she loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
Now, who wants to argue with the Bible?
Posted By: PM | May 18, 2010 9:39 PM
@PM: All very good quotes, except for the one from Jeremiah. The "queen of heaven" referred to there was a cult idol, not God. Jeremiah was basically saying, 'You want to worship this goddess? Go ahead and live your life without God, but be prepared for the consequences.'
Posted By: MLC | June 3, 2010 8:00 AM
Do you want to truly honor the CHRIST of the BIBLE?
Stop taking counsel from ridiculous women who have ordained themselves as "spiritual leaders". God's assigned role for each of you is a help meet to your husband and a submissive learner under male leadership in a local, New Testament Church!
Posted By: mark bias | June 7, 2010 12:47 PM