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September 7, 2011

Do You See What I See?

What to do when people don’t share your vision

by Meryl Herr

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My favorite Christmas song growing up was “Do You Hear What I Hear?” With each verse, the anticipation grows: Do you hear what I hear? Do you see what I see? Do you know what I know? Listen to what I say! The person singing longs for someone with whom to share the joy of Christ’s birth.

As leaders, we find tremendous joy in sharing ministry with others. Ministry around a common vision or goal not only unites teams but also brings energy and enthusiasm. When we suggest a new Bible study and everyone on our team agrees to try it, we feel excited and successful. When we create a piece of art that someone decides to use as a part of their ministry program, we feel affirmed and useful.

But what happens when we’re the odd one out? What happens if, as leaders, no one catches our vision? What if we share our ideas and our team responds with apathy or silence? Inside we’re asking, do you see what I see?

I often become so passionate about my ideas that, when no one agrees with them, I feel frustrated and sometimes angry. I leave meetings grumbling to myself, why don’t the members of my team see things the way I see them? Why can’t they understand my perspective?

At several consecutive team meetings at church, some of the ideas I presented fell flat. I felt so alone. I felt as if no one on my team cared about my insights on ministry. And even if they did care, their silence registered disagreement with them.

Leadership can be isolating at times, but those times of isolation can lead to fruitful introspection. Instead of wallowing in loneliness, bitterness, and misery, why not assess the possible reasons for the loneliness and gain a fresh perspective?

I’ll admit that I like to be right; I like to have my way. The question, do you see what I see, is sometimes not so much about sharing the joy as about persuading agreement. If I think that I’m right, naturally I want others to share my point of view.

Occasionally I forget that I’m always not right. Perhaps my vision is out of line and out of sync with God’s vision. In that case, a time of isolation can provide some necessary solitude for prayer and realignment though God’s Word.

Other times, I may be right, but it takes time for other people to catch the vision. I forget to have patience with them and sometimes drive my ideas harder than I should. In those times, I should resort to asking God to bring change in the hearts and minds of team members as he sees fit instead of when and how I see fit.

What about you? How do you respond when leadership feels lonely? Do you enter into a time of self-assessment and prayer, or do you continue to press your agenda, trying to force others to align with your vision?

Meryl Herr is a graduate student and author living in Illinois.

Posted by Ashley Moore on September 7, 2011 3:13 PM

Related Tags: collaboration, conflict, isolation, leaders, ministry, vision

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