Gifted for Leadership: How Women Are Uniquely Gifted for Leadership

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February 15, 2012

How Women Are Uniquely Gifted for Leadership

We are specially equipped for ministry.

by Margot Starbuck

As I duck out of sight of the gathering congregation, the church’s AV guy hands me a clip-on microphone. Patting myself around the waist and hip region, what I already know will be the case is confirmed: my lady clothes (ironically worn just for pulpit occasions like this one) have no belt, waistband, or pocket on which to latch or in which to drop the microphone’s power pack. If the congregation is to hear me today, I’ll simply have to shove it into my brassier, throw caution to the wind, and prayerfully hope that worshipers can think of something, anything, other than my rectangular left breast.

Today, this is the drawback of being a stylish woman in leadership.

There, are, though, other ways in which being a woman has uniquely gifted me and my sisters for leadership. Specifically, I’ve been noodling lately on how my female-ness has equipped me to engage with a world in need. Joining Christ in his ministry to those the world considers “the least of these,” I have discovered a few particular advantages I enjoy over my male counterparts.

Read ‘em and weep, boys. (For joy, of course.)

1. Shop ‘Til You Drop: Stewarding Resources
When an old man announced to me that women were the ones who chose where a family would live, and that women were the ones who bought the family’s groceries, and that women were the ones who shopped for the family’s clothes, I was a little peeved. Did he not realize that…

a. Not all women were married?
b. It was no longer 1950?
c. Most women were no longer sitting at home canning fruits and vegetables?

A few months later, though, I read a piece in my city’s indy newspaper about environmentally sensitive feminist women who were stewarding resources by producing food locally and canning their own fruits and vegetables. In the pages of the hip journal, and not from the lips of Ward Cleaver, it struck me as very progressive and empowering.

The truth, which had been clouded by weird mental images from Leave it to Beaver, is that many American women have real economic and social power. If women in the most traditional circumstances do—those who are married, with kids, who don’t work outside the home—as my man-friend was suggesting, then how much more influence do single women, working outside the home, possess!

When it comes to using one’s resources to bless a world in need, many women have more influence than we may imagine.

2. Trustworthy Strangers: Building Relational Bridges

I’m at a bus station, and a harried mom is trying to manage her tired-but-wired toddler. They both look like they have been traveling for a long time.

As I watch, a little exhausted by it, quite frankly, I’m reminded how happy I am that I’m not traveling with a toddler. I notice an energetic neighboring young woman begin to play Peek-a-Boo with the tike. Before long, he’s wandered over and they begin playing other games together. When he climbs up into her lap, she shows him the magazine she’s been reading. The mother breathes a deep sigh, as if sucking in oxygen for the first time all day, and slumps into her chair.

Since the young woman is a stranger, the mother won’t be taking a nap or heading outside for a smoke. I can see in her eyes, though, that she’s grateful for the mercy of a compassionate stranger.

And here’s the kicker: If the friendly stranger had been a man, doing exactly the same compassionate things, he wouldn’t have been a compassionate stranger. Regardless of his good intentions, he would have been considered —by virtue of his gender—a creepy stalker.

Something similar happened to me while driving along a major interstate about thirty minutes from my home. Noticing two small children toddling dangerously close to a major interstate highway, I stopped beside the broken-down car of a family of four. While the father of the family dealt with the car situation (sorry, that one’s a little sexist, right?) the mother willingly strapped her children into the empty car seats in my vehicle. The three of them came to my home for toys and snacks and naps until their journey continued in a rental car.

I feel pretty confident guessing that they would not have budged had I been a man.

For better or for worse—in this case, clearly better—being the more “vulnerable” gender gives us unique opportunities to connect with those who are vulnerable. It’s this weird upside-down kingdom privilege, granting women holy access in the lives of others.

3. Get Thee Behind Me: Avoiding (Some) Temptations

In Grand Rapids, my friend Annie runs a ministry called “Eve’s Angels.” Each week, Annie and her friends visit strip clubs in order to build relationships with the dancers and staff at the clubs.

Admittedly, the sight of a group of women, who look like they should actually be entering a nail salon or spa or Olive Garden, is confounding. Carrying a couple of hot pizzas, Annie and her friends quietly take a table. With permission, they share the pizza with the dancers and get to know them. No one announces that the women are sinners or that they’re going to hell. That would be weird, right? Instead, the visitors introduce themselves and learn more about the precious women who work in the club. They assure the women that God’s not calling them “whores” or “homewreckers.” Gently, kindly, they bear the good news that God loves them.

Though no one’s barring men from announcing good news about the inherent worth and belovedness of these women, spending time in strip clubs is, weirdly, a ministry that’s particularly suited to women.

There have got to be more of these, right? Talk to us, readers. Where do you see women ministering in roles for which their gender particularly equips them to serve?

Margot Starbuck is the author of the recently released Small Things With Great Love: Adventures in Loving Your Neighbor. More at www.MargotStarbuck.com.

Related Tags: gifts, leadership, ministry, women

Comments

In 1989, after encountering some 20 teenage mothers in a shopping mall on a school day, I did a 10-month feasibility study to see who was serving "parenting" teen mothers; not pregnant teens, but parenting teens. I interviewed over 70 organizations; governmental, secular and Christian ministries. Not one of those organizations existed solely to serve mothers between the ages of 13 - 23. The mall encounter was the burden that led to the feasibility study. The information I gathered through the feasibility study turned that burden into my life's passion; to demonstrate the love of Jesus Christ to teen mothers and their children. God brought like minded women into my life and together, we've helped over 450 teen mothers and none of those women relies on welfare today.

I believe that God calls woman to start certain ministries because of how He made us and because of the life experiences He has allowed us to go through. I had an abortion when I was 18 years old. That experience has placed within me a deep love and respect for those young women who didn't take the easy way out like I did. (Making is possible for Romans 8:28 to be lived out in my own live.) Also, Titus 2 talks about the "older women teaching the younger women", basically saying that there are some ministries that should be run by women.

What a great topic...actually something I've been thinking about for a long time. Single moms have been on my heart lately and I'm wondering, Christa March, how you go about a feasability study...is it as "straightfoward" as interviewing the organization as you noted? I would love to hear more about your process. Thanks!

I'm not sure I have any experiences to add to the discussion, although if I thought about it I could probably think of some examples. But I do want to say how excited and inspired I feel reading this! Thank you for your encouragement to allow God to use me in ways that just come naturally because I'm a woman. I'm excited now about how God might use me today!

I have been part of a wonderful ministry, Protestant Women of the Chapel. It's purpose is to be a ministry arm to our chaplains within the military to provide Christian service to any woman connected to military service. At various installations and bases around the world we set up ministry that offers weekly Bible studies, prayer, worship, fellowship and watchcare for our children. We are intentional in developing relationships that allow us to share the gospel, teach about the church, encourage spiritual gift development and actively draw others into serving where they feel called or inspired. PWOC has been a great place where I have been encouraged in my giftings, been allowed to serve and grow in my faith and my abilities! Our military families are in such stress, but God has provided a unique ministry that targets the military-connected woman and her relationship with God and His son, Jesus.

This goes back nearly 45 years, but it intrigued me then and still does now. I was coming home, by bus, after spending the summer as a "mother's helper" to my oldest sister and her four children. I was fourteen and traveling alone. Granted, times were different then, but as I sat in the waiting room of a major metropolitan bus station waiting for my transfer, a man in his mid to late twenties began watching me. As he started to walk towards me the next thing I knew, a sweet white-haired lady with a bag of knitting sat down on one side of me, and a blue-haired woman with crochet hook in hand sat on the other side of me. They kept up a lively conversation between themselves and included me in it. The man broke off his approach and walked away. When I needed to use the restroom, one of the women accompanied me, and when my bus was called, they both walked me to it.

These women were not traveling anywhere. They simply came to the bus station several times a week with their craft projects, keeping their eyes open for young women or children who were traveling alone and then they "adopted" them until they were either picked up by rides or boarded their buses. And if given the opportunity, they shared the gospel.

Wonderful article; I'm always inpsired by well written articles on women in ministry. As a born-again,
spirit-filled ordained Lutheran pastor (20 years now); I have found that women clergy bring a unique perspective on sharing the gospel, and not just from the puplit during Sunday worship. And women clergy are more apt to build and equip congregational memebers for mininsty than our male colleagues.

Kathy, what those women did is brilliant!! One is never too old for ministry.

Christa, I too would love to learn more about how I could start something similar in my area.

Thank you for reminding us of what we so often forget. Whatever our platform or sphere, God has given us unique opportunities that we share with sisters everywhere. And yes, as another female pastor, I'm with Lisa, we do bring a unique perspective on sharing the gospel. In preparing for a sermon I will give in a few weeks, I'm quite aware that my approach is quite different than much of what I hear. But this is not really just becoming comfortable preaching in my female skin—it's becoming comfortable preaching in all of my uniqueness, owning the God-directed story He has shaped in me. We each have a place to shine, if only we'll stay open to the opportunities (Margot's intervention for the roadside family is a great example) that cross our paths.

As a consultant to non-profits, I believe women are often gifted with perceptiveness and gentleness that paves the way for honest discussions about difficult leadership and personnel issues occurring in an organization.

I work as a secretary in a ministry department at a Christian university. Initially, I would not have thought of myself as doing ministry. However, after almost 4 years, I truly believe that I minister to several students. I have listened to problems, provided band-aides and tylenol, and given "parental" advice (when asked for it) to many students. They voluntarily "friend" me on facebook. They come to me asking about their resumes, girlfriend/boyfriend issues, homework/learning difference issues, ministry issues, or just to chat. They minister to me on most days, but I think it is a give and take. When asked to provide a list of job qualifications to look for whenever the time comes that I should move on, I listed "actively involved in ministry". This is not just a secretarial position - it is a unique ministry position. And yes, there are many issues that students share with me that they do not feel comfortable sharing with their professors/advisors (although sometimes I tell them to speak with their professor after speaking with me).

Thank you so much for your article!

Thanks for the smile and knowing laughter - and for confirming the fact that I am not the only one who deals with the lack of pockets in women's dress up clothes! Though I usually opt for tucking it in my pantyhose waistband, since it seems more secure than other possible locations! :)

I just have to say I love these comments. So many women doing ministry in the places God has placed them, using the gifts God has given them. Thanks, Margot, for reminding us that our femaleness is itself a gift that can be used in ministry.

That's wonderful of you "girls" taking on the courage and grace to reach out to the "unreachable" by the boys.

You just reminded me of the unique ministry of Joanna, Suzannah, Mary & Associates in support of our Lord Jesus, found in luke 8

Hallelujah sister. just keep them coming. my cup runneth over. Amen.

but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.
(1Th 2:7 NIV)

The mother, feminity, is a reference for caregiving. Women are born pre-equipped with unique gifts that are not found anywhere else. They bring them to ministry to the glory of the Creator and to a greater impact of the Kingdom.In fact, One of the two sides of ministry is caregiving. And caregiving is love rendered visible.In our churches in Eastern D R Congo, women are not ordained. However, they make a real, indispensable contribution to Church life in terms of caregiving, teaching, support, encouragement, compassion, concern, intercession, giving, benevolence... Numerous are churches whose life is more indebted to the women's ministry, not the pastor's.Women tend to be people-oriented and need-focussed; men are concerned with programs, goals, administrative meetings, resolutions, papers, concrete things...
Anyway, We pray that pastors discover the motherly side of the ministry as well.

Something I've been pondering recently: I'm a pastor in my 40s, and feel like it's only in the past few years that I've finally found my "preaching voice." Almost all my preaching is now telling the stories of the Bible in a first-person narrative. (The first time I tried this with a group that included a whole bunch of scientific/left brained people, I wondered what they'd think. Quickly found out they loved it and God used it to speak to them in new ways). What interesting is that I didn't originally think that this 'preaching voice' had anything to do with my gender. But then a friend of mine who is in education told me that new studies are showing that girls learn math concepts better when the math concepts are presented in story form! Would be interested to hear from other women who might relate to story-form preaching... is there a link to our gender?

Just another anti-male piece of writing, in my view. Sure, the women depicted in these tales all demonstrated love for neighbor. But the author touches on - then lightly skips away from - an unresolved tragedy exacted by feminism, which is the perpetuated fiction that men are creepy and ignorant and overbearing and crotch-focused and, basically, of no redeeming value to society once conception has been accomplished (preferably in a test tube). This bigotry taints whatever good women can offer to society and to ministry.

The Lord has a place for all His children. Addressing the giftedness of one gender does not diminish the giftedness of another. I am uniquely designed by God for His purpose as are we all. As a pastor I encounter many who have need of mothering. Many have been injured and that is where in most cases mothers are sought out. Maybe some only look for the negative side of things, hold on to the things that are not so nice, but it's time out for those type of thoughts. Do what you do, and make it count for the Lord. Oh, I had robes designed that have belts or pockets. Never thought about the pantyhose. I don't care if they see the mike. LOL.

This was interesting from a historical aspect. As a woman in ministry I used to worry about being a woman. Then I just focused on how Jesus spoke and taught and ministered and nurtured people. He was/is a perfect balance of male and female qualities, all in one person. Jesus loved and appreciated both men and women, and included both in his ministry. My goal is to be balanced in a similar way. Since making this decision several years ago I haven't worried about being a woman. Fortunately I have a very supportive and enlightened husband and congregation.
John's comment is unfortunately true for some defensive women I have known who try to one-up men or treat them like children, and I have also known defensive men who try to one-up women and treat them like children. These positions come from painful experiences. Hopefully healing will come for all of us in our vulnerable areas.
Gail

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