Take, for example, the recent list that was propagated all over the Internet, entitled “Top Books Every Young Influencer/Leader Should Read?”. The question was posed by marketing consultants Daniel Decker and Jason Young, who sent it largely via Twitter to their followers and to other key influencers they knew, resulting in more than 200 responses from people who picked their top 5 choices.

As I scanned the list, I saw the typical business-management-leadership books that tend to top these kinds of surveys, such as Jim Collins’ Good to Great, as well as the names of prominent Christian leaders and thinkers such as Bill Hybels, John Maxwell, and C.S. Lewis. Newer books such as Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers made the list, as well as those considered time-management classics (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey.) I internally nodded at the choices, tweeted the list to others, and moved on with my day.

My more astute sisters in Christ, however, picked up on the fact that of the top 33 books that made the list, none were written by women.

The gender shift of the Supreme Court speaks to me about how much things have changed for women, even since my time of revering Sandra Day O’Conner. And I wonder, too, how this changing landscape affects the perspectives and needs of young people desiring to follow Jesus Christ—and how the church is responding.

As a 32-year-old leader, I spend a lot of time listening to people older than me argue about what they think people younger than me need or want. There is often a general lamenting of the exodus of young people from the church and the ways to bring them back. There is a sense that the young people just need to get in line with the Bible or “biblical worldview,” stop messing around and messing up their lives. Some of that might be true. But my perspective on this generation is a little different.

Here are three things I’ve found in working with young people:

A young priest, at the front of the sanctuary, was addressing a packed congregation. Though twenty-seven year old Rev. Emily Bloemker had been told that she was speaking to a crowd gathered to fighting extreme poverty—which made me like her immediately—she was actually being featured on the show What Not To Wear and being given $5,000 to go shopping.

Absurd, right?

The big idea of What Not To Wear is that some unsuspecting person, who’s been turned in to the fashion police by someone “who cares,” is humiliated on national TV for wearing last decade’s styles or baggy oversized clothes that are really comfortable. The premise of the show, reflecting what is true of our culture, is that bodies are made to be viewed.

And on March 4-6, 2011 in Orlando the next chapter unfolds: The Rest of the Story: From Here to Eternity. You see, the Story isn’t finished. As God’s image bearers, we have work to do. As members of his Church, we have an invitation from God himself to serve, to make a difference.

Globalization, advancing technology, and seismic cultural shifts mean yesterday and tomorrow won’t look the same. The world is changing even at this moment.

The road ahead will not be smooth, but God is working to take us deeper and strengthen the Blessed Alliance between his sons and daughters.

What’s worse is that the church is not exempt from wounding our own warriors. Particularly in women’s ministry, the tragedy can occur by a woman who has been hurt or offended, so she inflicts her pain onto others. Recently, I saw this manifest with the woman leader whose pain makes her territorial, keeping her from allowing anyone else to come in with skills, giftedness, and ideas concerning her ministry.

The reality of these tragedies brought me to the Book of Acts, where I dissected Paul’s relationship with Barnabus. We watched for several chapters as these men encouraged one another, ministered along side each other, traveled together, discipled believers, suffered persecution, and brought many to the knowledge of Christ. As a matter of fact, God set them apart specifically to minister in this capacity (v 13:2). Then BOOM, at the end of Chapter 15 they have a huge disagreement and part ways.

There are a few things that I observed about this disagreement that are critical to understanding the situation:

My friend Anita first encouraged me to see this movie, starring Hillary Swank and Patrick Dempsey. At face value, Freedom Writers is another one of those inspirational movies about an idealistic teacher who heads into a tough school and turns the students’ lives around. In this case, she does it (among other things) by encouraging her students to keep journals.

It’s a good movie. Well done. Powerful and moving. Especially for anyone who believes in the power of the written word.

But what gets me most about this movie is one little scene—one that shakes me and leaves me troubled and wondering.

I think the business of church can be excruciating. What do you get when you take a room full of over-committed volunteers, mix in some underpaid staff workers, and toss in hundreds (or thousands) of church-goer expectations? How about business leaders who are used to managing corporate dollars combined with under-resourced and over-ambitious “kingdom” plans? Welcome to church business.

The ministry-minded among us tend to be jazzed by relationships, not regulations. We look upon tomes of policy with disdain, fearing death by legalistic rules and passion-less programming. But it’s a fair argument to say that avoiding this church business is not being a good steward of the resources that God provides each of our communities.

We do have to make sure the plumbing runs and the paychecks get cut. We need lights and A/C and erosion control. But church business can take a toll.

I’ve never seen a shooting star before, and I wouldn’t have seen it this time except that I was walking up a rickety wooden pier in the lake and just happened to turn my head to the right, in time to see a brilliant downward flash of light that disappeared only a second after my mind understood what it was. I’m so grateful that I saw it, and all because I was taking the time to do nothing much except give my soul a rest.

I’m taking a few days off from ministry and family time to stay by the water in a little chalet, cosy-ing up with my Bible and my laptop—a great combination. I’ve been walking, sleeping, reading, writing, sleeping some more, and generally relaxing. I’ve found myself talking more to the Lord about stuff that’s been at the back of my mind than I’ve done for ages. Praying isn’t hard, but praying about things that sit under the surface of your thinking generally happens only when you take some time out. That’s what I’m doing right now.

The problem with those of us in ministry is that we run endlessly on our “very important” treadmills, and we rarely take the time to get under the surface of our thought processes to find out what we are really thinking about what we are thinking… sound confused? Well, it’s not really—if you just take the time.

John Maxwell says leadership is influence. Well, if that’s the case, I guess I’ve always been a leader. I’m the oldest child of two strong-willed, independent parents, so I may even have been born a leader! If I were in a group and no one was in charge, it was natural for me to step into the role. People often looked to me for answers and direction. However, I never recognized the patterns of leadership in my ordinary thoughts and actions until recently. As such, acknowledging that gift has been a struggle.

When my senior leaders asked me to transition into the role of executive pastor, I was reluctant. The title alone was intimidating, and I wasn’t sure I could actually lead at that level. Quite honestly, I felt completely inadequate to lead anyone, anywhere. You see, for a long time I didn’t believe I brought anything unique to our organization. Sure, I had some skill sets that added value. But I also believed there were others who possessed those same skills in greater abundance. If I were pulled out and one of them put in my place, the organization wouldn’t miss a beat.

In the last several months God has been quietly reframing the image I’ve had of myself.

###

Women are at the forefront of one of the most fundamental transformations of the 21st century. For the first time in human history, the number of people older than 65 will be larger than those under age 5. Demographers say that the fastest growing age group is those older than 85. One study found that this group will be diagnosed with a terminal illness an average of three years before their death. Those years are filled with doctor and ER visits, cooking and cleaning, filling prescriptions and assisting with the bathroom.

Women are central to this demographic shift because as these elderly need to be cared for, many women—daughters, nieces, mothers, and friends—are the ones stepping up to meet this challenge of caregiving. In fact, of the 66 million Americans doing this work for a family member, two-thirds are female, with an average age of 46. Their unpaid services to family members are estimated to be worth $148 billion to $188 billion annually.

I clicked through the article but honestly, I wasn’t that surprised. I’m a big fan of hers, the kind who’d googled Jennifer every few months when she disappeared from the music scene. I’d wondered what was going on in her life that made her make that drastic change. But what did surprise me was my constant thoughts about Jennifer over the next few weeks. What surprised me was my sadness and confusion and deep sense of loss.

Funny, because I used to love this word—when written in perfect grade-school-teacher cursive atop a worksheet or when my piano teacher (rarely) scrawled it on top of a page of a songbook. It meant something then because it didn’t always happen—because it recognized something rare and wonderful: achieving excellence.

And yet now in leadership circles this word has become synonymous with how we are to always be, how everything should look or feel or be perceived. While I’m sick of hearing about it in secular leadership circles, I’m actually troubled by how often I’m seeing it pop up among church-folk.

She is awesome.
I want to be her.
She’s so strong.
She’s so pretty.

She quickly became my super hero. I even sported Wonder Woman Underoos until I could no longer fit in them. (Don’t judge; I know you had your favorite super-hero Underoos too!) Known for her super human strength, speed, reflexes, stamina and durability, Wonder Woman became an icon in my fragile little 3-year-old psyche. Little did I realize how much that subtle influence would frame the expectations I’ve put on myself now as an adult.

Emotion washed over Laurie. How is he? How could he?

Laurie and Jason had just found out their 18-year-old son was in jail for heroin possession and use. They were overwhelmed with the shock and horror of it and with concern for their son.

As that reality began to settle in, they were overcome with a new thought: What would the church Jason pastored say? Would people understand, or would they judge? The pastor’s son? Would they need to step down from the pastorate?

They felt so alone.

My three young children are incessantly curious, asking questions of nature, of people, and of God. As their mother and primary answer-giver, I find their curiosity alternately fascinating and frustrating.

“Why does Emma have two daddies and two mommies?”

I used to relish curiosity. But lately busyness and the relentless demands of motherhood have sapped my inquisitive drive. Now I spend as much time saying “Because!” as I do trying to explain or inspire.

“Mom, why can’t I put my flash drive/battery/wire invention in the electric outlet?”

“Because, honey! Just because! That’s all I can tell you!” I say, a few decibels too loud as I attempt to write this post.