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February 1, 2012

Leadership, the AA Way

Getting real and leading authentically


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I used to think Alcoholics Anonymous was all stale prayers and smoky church basements. I considered myself a distant admirer of the program, but even as a counselor, I didn’t want to get too close. AA was a good idea for some people, but surely it wasn’t relevant to my busy life of “making a difference” in women’s ministry.

Last summer my stereotypes were shattered through a course called “Substance Abuse and Society,” which gave me a firsthand glimpse into the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Like the church, AA encourages people to seek healing and growth. But sometimes unlike church, AA prizes authenticity—in a Jesus kind of way. I was surprised at how much I gleaned about leadership in those church basements. Take a journey through a few of the Twelve Steps to examine your authenticity as a leader:

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January 25, 2012

Top 10 in 2011

A list of the most popular GFL content in 2011—and a re-introduction to a new editor

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I know it’s a little late to be serving up a 2011 retrospective. The new year? That was so three weeks ago.

Well, I would have done this earlier, but we’ve been making a big transition here at Gifted for Leadership, and quite honestly, it’s taken me a few weeks to figure out where everything is. Now that I have found my way to the computer, I’m actually writing this post for two reasons: to tell you which blog posts and downloads were most popular among our readers in 2011 (as promised in the title) and to (re)introduce myself.

Second things first.

Some of you may recognize my name; many of you are new to Gifted for Leadership since I last served at the editorial helm. Back in 2007, when Gifted for Leadership launched, I was the editor who started and oversaw this blog. I also wrote frequent posts myself. During the next few years, other editors took responsibility for Gifted for Leadership while I worked on other projects in my role as an executive at Christianity Today.

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December 1, 2011

How Did Jesus Teach?

The answer helps me keep my ambition in check

Recently, a friend shared a conversation she’d had with another woman in leadership. “All she talked about is how no one will support her preaching, and how she’s having a hard time getting ordained. Not once did she talk about serving, or call, or God’s direction.”

Ambition isn’t unique to women. Men strive to get ahead just like we do. But within women’s leadership circles, I’m noticing a troubling trend: In our rally cry to gain a place in the pulpit, we may be losing something else—our heart for servanthood.

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November 10, 2011

Embracing Weakness

It pays to be honest about our shortcomings

Christian leaders love to talk about strengths. Want proof? Just ask your pastor to list her spiritual gifts, talk about his areas of passion, or tell you her Myers-Briggs profile (any other ENTJ’s out there?). You’re sure to get an enthusiastic response. But ask that same leader to tell you about her areas of weakness, and she might be slightly less excited to engage with you.

Don’t get me wrong, most of us are happy to preach about weakness, write about weakness, and even encourage others to be open about their weakness. But something about the public nature of our leadership roles, or perhaps our own pride, makes it harder for us to be honest about our own shortcomings. After all, what would people think if they learned that you and I are light years away from having it all figured out?

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October 19, 2011

The Cure for Influence-itis

Doing for one what I wish I could do for all

“I understand how to tell people that I can’t meet with them soon,” I said to my pastor over coffee several years ago, “but how can I possibly tell them I can’t meet with them ever?” I was experiencing my first round of influence-itis, the toxic, nagging feeling of being needed by too many people.

The first time I asked this question, I was a volunteer women’s director with three children under six. Now, I’m on a church staff, but the demands of the role and my family continue to make it impossible to reach everyone. I struggled then (and still do) with understanding how to care for so many needs with such limited time.

So when Andy Stanley spoke directly to my influence-itis at the Catalyst Conference, I listened. His message was simple:

Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.

Continue reading "The Cure for Influence-itis" »

September 13, 2011

Amped Up from the Blackout

The hurricane may have knocked us off the grid, but we were far from powerless.

Hurricane Irene blustered her way up the East Coast, downing trees, toppling cars, and leaving seven million people (including our family) in the dark. We were without power for four days. I missed it desperately—my laptop, smartphone, televisions, refrigerator, hair straightener, and garbage disposal. (Yes, I missed my garbage disposal.) But now that I’m back on the grid, I also miss our blackout. Because what I saw happen without power that first post-storm Sunday morning was powerful without one amp of electricity.

Despite the blackout across our community, we decided to move forward with an “informal” worship service. With no lights, soundboards, microphones, or PowerPoint, we moved outside, dragging chairs and an upright piano onto the patio. The worship team scrambled to rearrange a simple set of songs for unplugged music—just guitars, piano, bongos, and voices. Lyrics were printed in black, block letters on a flipchart.

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August 24, 2011

Facebook Pages vs. Groups

Two ways to keep your church connected

So you want to get your church into the Facebook social media world? But, alas, some well-meaning individual in the church has already created a Facebook page on behalf of the church.

Sigh. This can be really frustrating, when multiple Facebook Pages and Groups exist for one church. Plus, they may or may not accurately represent what the organization is about.

You can attempt to find out who “owns” a Page or Group and contact them directly. Problem solved. Right?

But wait…what’s the difference between a Facebook Page and a Group? Which one is right for your church? I am so glad you asked! Here is a quick rundown of the difference (from Facebook's perspective) between Pages and Groups.

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August 8, 2011

Leading Absent

How your team does without you says a lot about you

"The test of your leadership is not what happens when you're there, but what happens when you're NOT there." Ken Blanchard

Just reading that quote makes me a bit anxious. How about you? Have you ever found yourself creating exhaustive notes for your team or maybe even your family in preparation to be away for a few days? Have you ever feared what's waiting for you after an unexpected day out of the office?

As a leader, it's sometimes difficult to let go. There's a part of our psyches that feels a need to control—even when we're absent. But eventually our inability to let go will hold us back from continuing to grow as leaders. And not only will our growth be limited but the growth of our team will suffer as well. Leading others to succeed, especially when you are gone, is the mark of a growing leader.

So what do we need to do to pass this test of leadership that Blanchard talks about?

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August 2, 2011

5 Things I’ve Learned in Ministry

Rookie year reflections

Next month marks my one year anniversary of working in paid ministry. It's been a year full of joy, surprises, and challenges of all kinds. Here are five things I've learned in my rookie year:

1. If it was easy, it wouldn't be leadership.
I wasn't expecting every decision that I made to be so difficult. Despite my years as a volunteer in ministry, I was shocked by the number of variables that affected my every move. I assumed my analytical skills would help me make good choices for a program or person. Yet I was surprised to find that when I weighed the pros and cons of a decision, they often came out even. A year in, I now realize how many decisions require discernment, courage, and a desperate need for God's guidance to move forward.

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July 20, 2011

Trouble with Authority

You're bound to be tested

It didn’t take long to face opposition once I started a career in ministry. Of course, I had a lot of strikes against me from the start. First of all, I was young, fresh out of college, and in my first-ever paid ministry role. On top of that, I was a woman, the only woman serving with the pastoral staff. And, probably most significant, I was hired to launch a brand new ministry—church-wide adult small groups, a ministry most in the church knew nothing about and had no interest in.

After working at the church for a few years, our team decided on a new approach for small groups. I began training new leaders for small groups so that I, then, could serve as their "coach" in the fall instead of leading groups myself. I spent the summer meeting with a group of potential leaders—training them, laying out expectations, and modeling how to lead a small group.

As fall approached, I met with each of the potential leaders to get a feel for whether or not they wanted to lead a group. Most of the meetings over coffee went smoothly—some individuals expressed a desire to move into leadership, while others felt they weren't quite suited for the position. All, though, affirmed their trust in me and were grateful for the time and effort I had put forth that summer. All, that is, except one.

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July 13, 2011

Five Tips for Creating a Mentor Program

The key to cultivating exceptional leaders

Things change continually in ministry, for better and worse. One area that seems to have improved drastically over the past 15 years or so, though, is the emphasis placed on mentoring and its role in creating fully engaged employees.

Being good stewards of resources goes far beyond just dollars and cents. Mentoring allows us to be good stewards of one of the greatest resources we have in ministry—people.
Mentoring is the practice of connecting an individual with someone who has “been there and done that.” It can play a key role in the development of a staff member into an exceptional employee or leader. Many people spend more of their waking hours at work than anywhere else, and this can be especially true in ministry. If people only learn how to technically perform their job, they are missing out on a much more balanced, well-rounded approach to their role.

Here are five tips for a successful mentoring program:

Continue reading "Five Tips for Creating a Mentor Program" »

June 6, 2011

Every Need Is Not a Call

Focusing on the right community ministry

I frequently work with churches that are located in communities with multiple needs and issues. In urban neighborhoods, and more frequently now in suburbs and rural communities, you might find the following issues:

  • high levels of unemployment, with families struggling to meet basic needs as a result
  • an achievement gap between children who live in poverty and those who don't, resulting in lower graduation rates and college attendance for youth from poor families
  • a lack of affordable housing that has driven some people into homelessness
Trying to meet all the needs that you see is counter-productive. It's likely your church won't be good at responding to them all, and if you try, your impact on the community will be minimal. So a critical step in developing effective community ministry programs is focus: making good choices about the one or two areas in which your congregation will work.

Continue reading "Every Need Is Not a Call" »

May 26, 2011

Why the Church Needs to Teach about Body Image

A five-day church fast revealed a different hunger.

Recently, my church experienced its first-ever Five Day Challenge, an initiative launched several years ago by Willow Creek Community Church. The Challenge encourages people to eat only small portions of rice and beans at each meal as a tangible experience of the hunger that the bottom economic half of the world endures daily.

Like any good leader, I prepared my team in advance. We marketed the event, provided information and meal plans, We inspired our congregation and set a fundraising goal. With an expectant tone, I stood before my own ministry area, high schoolers, and asked, “Who will be participating in Meals With Hope?” Scattered hands tentatively went up, while one high schooler in the front thrust her arm in the air and shouted, “It’s a great way to lose weight!”

Oh. No.

Continue reading "Why the Church Needs to Teach about Body Image" »

May 18, 2011

How I Became a Twitter Believer

The power of social media for ministry

I swore I wouldn't sign up for Twitter. It seemed like a nuisance. I had already given in to Facebook and started my personal blog. I didn't need one more thing!

But I quickly realized that as a leader in a church with a population of primarily Generation X and Y, I needed to engage this medium if I intended to influence them. Little did I know that less than a year later Twitter would become a key tool for responding to one of the greatest tragedies our city has ever faced.

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April 27, 2011

Harnessing Our Humanity

Using your weaknesses to be a better leader.

Have you ever led a small group in which the following type of scenario took place?

You’re excited because you invited a new person to your small group—perhaps a young co-worker or a student you met on campus—and this person is not a believer. He or she lives with their boyfriend or girlfriend and is very much immersed in the secular world, but you’ve had some promising conversations with them lately, and they’re definitely curious.

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April 13, 2011

"What You Are Doing Is Not Good"

What Moses and I had to learn.

“What you are doing is not good.”

Has anyone ever said that to you?

For a performance-based, people-pleaser like me, those words were painful to hear—even though they were told in love—because they were true.

Now I know how Moses must have felt when Jethro, his father-in-law, said these same words upon evaluating his leadership. Here’s how their conversation went:

Continue reading ""What You Are Doing Is Not Good"" »

March 31, 2011

Are Churches Leading the Way in Preventing Child Abuse?

What we can do to keep kids safe.

Thirty-some years ago, someone I love was sexually abused by a trusted adult. Although this incident occurred when we were kids, time has done nothing to heal my friend. All it's done is stolen peace, freedom, and wholeness from him. Harboring hatred has a way of eating away at one's soul.

Child abusers are the most reviled people on the planet. Even hardened criminals view child molesters with particular disdain. And so did I. For years I harbored a deep hatred toward the perpetrator who violated my friend in an unthinkable way.

But then over the course of the last few years, I started to wonder whether all my righteous anger was really just a way for me to withhold forgiveness from someone who most certainly didn't deserve it. Could the blood of Christ cover someone as horrible as a pedophile? And if it could, would I ever bring myself to say to the worst of the worst—child abusers—you, yes even you, are saved by grace!

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March 23, 2011

Lost Leaders

Is the church in danger of losing its next generation of women leaders?

A couple of years ago a leadership mentor challenged me with a tough statement. She said, "Jenni, how you steward your influence as a leader will directly impact the rest of the women in your church." That statement has haunted me ever since.

I'm ashamed to admit that up until that conversation, my leadership had been very me-centric. I was worried about me instead of being intentional about developing other leaders, especially the young women leaders around me. In fact, I wasn't even sure who the young women leaders were in our church. There were hundreds of 20- to 30-something women coming in and out of our doors each week, but I was seeing very few of them lead.

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February 3, 2011

How I Won the West

Hint: It wasn't by blazing a new trail.

A couple of summers ago while my husband and I were in Las Vegas, we decided to enjoy a bit of the great outdoors. This is not uncommon for us. We love the thrill of exploring new places!

On this trip we opted to tackle Turtlehead Peak at Red Rock Canyon. Turtlehead Peak is a 2,000 foot mountain that you ascend at a pretty steep grade. We had our work cut out for us in the triple-digit temperatures, but we were excited about the beautiful view that was in store.

As we were climbing, I couldn’t help but marvel at the barrenness of the West. I began to realize how at ease I was because I could clearly see my destination.

As I was hiking, attempting to distract myself from the mountain in front of me and the fact that I didn't appear to be getting to my destination as quickly as I'd hoped, I began making some parallels to leadership. In this case I was following along behind my husband not questioning his leadership or direction. I'd like to say that I never question his leadership and direction but, well…I'd be lying. Frankly, I'm not a good follower. I like to be confident the leader knows where he is going and I'm not quick to trust if I can't see the destination for myself. In this case, I could clearly see that the leader was on the right track. Rewind to a previous family adventure when we were hiking in the woods of Tennessee and you wouldn't have seen such a calm, compliant follower.

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January 25, 2011

My New Mantra

So What If It Fails?

When is the last time you acted on a dream that could fail?

Six months ago, I made the switch from professional volunteer to paid church employee. Along with my bank account, something else changed too: my appetite for change. With the weight of now being paid for my position, I had lost some of my hunger for being an agent of change at our church.

Intuitively, I knew I had ideas that were worth discussing. I knew it would be beneficial to apply my fresh eyes to the established ministry program. And yet I hesitated to share too much or dream too big. What if it doesn't work? What if people don't like my ideas? What if the leadership above me second-guesses hiring me? What if I'm naive? What if the students don't like it? What if it fails?

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January 16, 2011

Getting on God's Agenda

What spiritual leadership looks like.

I began my career working for a large secular corporation. In those days I had very little positional influence. I was at the bottom of the ladder trying to climb my way to the top just like every other poor soul my age. But what I quickly discovered was that I was earning influence with my peers in an area that I hadn't anticipated. Some of the people I worked with were also Christians and we naturally gravitated to one another to discuss spiritual things. Out of our relationships flowed the opportunity to speak into each others' lives about what God was teaching us and where he was stretching us to grow in our faith.

But the moments I remember most vividly are the chances I had to share with those who were not believers. As we got to know one another, I learned more about their families, their dreams and their fears. I took it as a great compliment when one of these individuals would show up at my door and say, "Hey, can I ask you something?" This usually was followed with a concern or frustration that they wanted counsel in navigating. Sometimes these were work-related; other times, family issues. Regardless, it gave me an opportunity to share truth—to speak God's Word into their lives.

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December 21, 2010

Questions and Answers on Christmas

Have you ever thought about exactly what the angels said when they proclaimed Jesus’ birth? Of all the words that could have been said or sung, they chose to proclaim this good news:

“…a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord” (Luke 2:11).

That one statement proclaims the answer to three questions of the human heart:

Can I be rescued?
Am I worth it?
How should I live?

The tinsel and ribbon and comfortable traditions may obscure our view of the cosmic proclamation that night. The angels proclaimed more than just a birth. They proclaimed an answer.

What if this truth informed your leadership all year long? It is a shift of great proportion when a leader moves from solving problems and “managing” to discerning a person’s deepest longings and pointing them toward God’s work in their life. Even if we spend the majority of hours dealing with strategy or budgets or programming, the real call of every leader is shepherding human hearts.

Here’s how to make it practical:

Continue reading "Questions and Answers on Christmas" »

December 1, 2010

Team Leading

One of the ways I lead within my church is to teach a spiritual class for women. For ten years, I have taught a weekly class, often taking a group of 50 to 60 women through a spiritually challenging book. We dive in deep, spending several months going through chapter by chapter, taking time to discuss, to reflect in solitude, to learn.

The best thing about this class, hands down, is that I do not lead by myself. Two other women and I equally divide the teaching responsibilities and share other tasks based on our giftedness. We have another group of women who each facilitate a small group within the class. Every person who serves in some capacity is essential and necessary, valued and loved. I think this team approach is what has kept me fresh and focused for a decade.

The church has often, to its detriment, embraced and enfolded the culture of competitive individualism that surrounds it. While Christian faith typically begins with a personal, individual decision, a believer is not meant to stay isolated. We are meant to be a body—a collective whole made up of many parts, each distinct in character and purpose. As leaders, being part of a team keeps us grounded, and prevents the loneliness that often plagues those who try to lead alone.

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November 17, 2010

Bad Leaders "R" Us

It seems that everywhere I look, I see an example of bad leadership. And it’s not just in the realm of business or politics, either. I’ve seen pastors and Christian leaders make poor decisions, or make good ones and implement them badly. It’s not a problem limited to our day, either. Reading the Sermon on the Mount, it’s clear that Jesus doesn’t mince words as he describes to his followers what the religious leaders of their day are doing poorly. Setting out to obey God, they’ve become taken in by their own hype. They pass extra laws, push the boundaries of sin to the nth degree, and blow their own horns—literally!—when giving alms or praying.

But Jesus sees their behavior for what it is—self-interest. He explains to the people that this kind of behavior—leaders doing what makes themselves look and feel good—is wholly inappropriate for the Kingdom of God. God has a whole different way of doing things, and the religious leaders of the day are way off base with their self-centered approach to leading.

What about us? To what extent have we come to resemble the religious leaders of Jesus’ day?

Continue reading "Bad Leaders "R" Us" »

October 27, 2010

Casting Vision, Leading Up

Sue Miller is a pioneer among female leaders. She is a vision-caster, a people-builder, and a woman who knows—from the inside—how to change the church. Sue is revolutionized children’s ministry in our generation, beginning with Willow Creek and expanding throughout the country with the publication of the book, Making Your Children’s Ministry the Best Hour of Every Kid’s Week.

When I ran into Sue at a recent Orange conference, I asked her a few questions about being a woman and a leader. Here are the highlights:

Nicole: Many women in major ministry roles live in a "man's world." You mentioned that the idea of "leading up" during the Orange conference. What does that mean?

Sue: In order to influence senior leadership, you must be building something well to begin with. Do a great job with your current responsibilities in order to build integrity and credibility.

Figure out a way to connect relationally with senior leaders. Communicate positive information, key stories of life change from people in your ministry, tied to the overall mission of your church to show that you are a team player who supports the direction of the church. Don’t assume others get your vision or even know what your vision is. You have to be the one to live out your vision in leadership circles over time. Give yourself time for leading up. This is not something that happens overnight. We have to be willing to go the distance on this one so that trust is established.

Get some mentoring or coaching on how to present a proposal to decision makers when needed. I wasn't trained in this area, and I realized that the men on our board processed information differently than I did. I had to learn to communicate statistical information in a better way.

Continue reading "Casting Vision, Leading Up" »

October 19, 2010

Stepping Out: Guilt, Failure and Trust

Making the call about when and how to step out of a leadership role tops my all-time list of “Things I Hate.” I would venture to guess that you’ve been there; that the struggle leaders face over when, how and why to step away—although circumstantially unique—are somewhat common.

Earlier this year, I stepped out of a role that played a significant part in my development as a leader. Having traveled the transition road before, when I stepped out, I anticipated the internal battle: guilt (now others had to pick up my slack), ego (would they really be okay without me?), loss (but the relationships…). What I didn’t expect, however, was for a voluntary stepping away to leave me feeling like a complete failure.

The decision came during a “conversation” my husband and I had been having for the better part of three years. While I knew this particular role was utilizing my gifts, growing my skills and making a difference, the investment of time and energy was taking away from other areas of my life that I cared deeply about. So when my husband suggested—again—that maybe it was time to take a break, I put on my gloves and prepared—again—to be declared the victor. But midway through the conversation, something unexpected happened. I found myself agreeing with my husband. It was a rare moment of clarity for a girl whose family-of-origin-motto is “Let’s wait and see.” I knew I needed to quit, and I knew it had to be soon.

Continue reading "Stepping Out: Guilt, Failure and Trust" »

October 12, 2010

Leading Confidently

One of the greatest monsters that I wrestle with in my leadership is being confident in the calling and gifting God has for me. I battle the usual suspects of insecurity, fear and the obsessive need to compare myself to others. These enemies to my confidence can get the best of me if I let them.

One of my favorite leaders from Scripture is Deborah. I love to unpack the layers of her leadership and study the confidence she displayed in her calling.

If you need a refresher on the story, hop over to Judges 4 & 5.

Reading Deborah’s story always encourages me to keep my focus on God, his calling and his voice in my life. When I’m doing that, fear, insecurity and comparison quickly take a backseat.

Here’s what I observe to be the keys to Deborah’s confidence:

Continue reading "Leading Confidently" »

September 22, 2010

Playing the 'God Card'

Have you ever thrown down the God Card? Playing the God Card happens whenever one uses “God told me” as the ultimate justification for a decision that requires group consensus. Picture a meeting about budget allocation or using space in the building or ministry direction, and someone goes “all-in.” They might say: “I really feel like God wants this to be happening.” Or: “God told me we should make my announcement first on Sunday morning.” At best, the God Card is an expression of passion and heart having a difficult time explaining itself. At worst, it’s a manipulative tool, a power play to get one’s way.

I think people use the God Card too much, ministry or not. And yes, God told me to say that. (God Card Alert!)

Making difficult decisions in the church is nothing new. The entire book of Acts is devoted to the development and spread of the early church. Acts is about explosive growth of the church, the Spirit showing up with many miraculous signs and wonders, and people converted faster than Paul and his crew could baptize them. I imagine the folks in leadership meetings could hardly keep up.

Can you relate?

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August 31, 2010

The Books that Shape Us

Last week (on August 26) Women’s Equality Day—a day commemorating the contributions of the women’s suffrage movement—got a lot of news coverage. In our modern age with numerous nationally recognized female political figures, we may find it difficult to remember that less than 100 years ago, women could not even vote in the U.S. And yet, while we have made progress in attaining measures of equality in some areas such as the right to vote, at the same time women lag behind in many other areas.

Take, for example, the recent list that was propagated all over the Internet, entitled “Top Books Every Young Influencer/Leader Should Read?”. The question was posed by marketing consultants Daniel Decker and Jason Young, who sent it largely via Twitter to their followers and to other key influencers they knew, resulting in more than 200 responses from people who picked their top 5 choices.

As I scanned the list, I saw the typical business-management-leadership books that tend to top these kinds of surveys, such as Jim Collins’ Good to Great, as well as the names of prominent Christian leaders and thinkers such as Bill Hybels, John Maxwell, and C.S. Lewis. Newer books such as Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers made the list, as well as those considered time-management classics (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey.) I internally nodded at the choices, tweeted the list to others, and moved on with my day.

My more astute sisters in Christ, however, picked up on the fact that of the top 33 books that made the list, none were written by women.

Continue reading "The Books that Shape Us" »

June 9, 2010

My Dangerous Wonder-Woman Ego

I couldn’t have been more than 3 or 4 years old when I first watched Wonder Woman on TV, but I remember specifically thinking,

She is awesome.
I want to be her.
She’s so strong.
She’s so pretty.

She quickly became my super hero. I even sported Wonder Woman Underoos until I could no longer fit in them. (Don’t judge; I know you had your favorite super-hero Underoos too!) Known for her super human strength, speed, reflexes, stamina and durability, Wonder Woman became an icon in my fragile little 3-year-old psyche. Little did I realize how much that subtle influence would frame the expectations I’ve put on myself now as an adult.

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March 6, 2010

Some 'Thou Shalts' From Synergy

When I was a freshman at Calvin College (closer to 20 years ago than I like to think about) I got mono just before the start of the January interim. Being the conscientious (if babyish) 18-year-old, I asked my dad to call the professor and see if there was anything I could do so I didn’t have to drop the “Food and Culture” class I was supposed to take.

The professor, Dr. Michelle Loyd-Paige, allowed me to read some books and write a paper and still eek out a “pass” in the class. I’d always appreciated that measure of grace she extended me.

In this morning’s plenary session at the Synergy Conference in Orlando, I learned a whole bunch of new reasons to appreciate for my almost-professor.

Among the wonderful insights and challenges Dr. Loyd-Paige shared with us, here is a list of her “Thou Shalts” when it comes to following a calling as a woman. I love these (and these are direct “quotes” from her PowerPoint):

Continue reading "Some 'Thou Shalts' From Synergy" »

November 17, 2009

Re-Thinking Conflict

“If you had a whole day free what would you do?”

The question came to me in a small group setting, and the answer came immediately to mind: “I’d go somewhere beautiful to sit and think.” You see, I’m addicted to thinking.

Though I can’t go somewhere beautiful for the day right now I have been thinking. Thinking about conflict. I’ve googled for the definition, for quotes, and for concepts. I’ve asked people what comes to mind when they hear the term and interestingly enough there are a lot of different answers.

One insight recently came when I noticed the words combined with conflict like “manage,” “avoid,” “quickly resolve.” I bring this up because all writers and readers know that conflict is essential to the plot when you talk about story. Without conflict there’s no plot, no movement, and nothing interesting in the story.

But I don’t typically think that way about the story of my life or the plotline of my leadership. I’ve tended to spend large amounts of energy managing, avoiding, and quickly getting rid of conflict.

Continue reading "Re-Thinking Conflict" »

August 21, 2009

Over-Trained and Overwhelmed Leaders

Since I’d heard some buzz about the book, I was happy to accept the invitation for GFL to part of its “blog tour” along with our sister site, SmallGroups.com. After reading the following passage from chapter 17 of Sticky Church, I became even more excited about sharing this with you all.

In it, author Larry Osborne describes “a common trap,” and certainly one that has kept me—as a leader who has to manage time wisely between motherhood, writing, speaking, and other responsibilities—from getting involved in certain leadership positions I might otherwise enjoy.

Can’t wait to hear what you have to say about this excerpt from Larry Osborne’s Sticky Church:

When we at North Coast Church began our small group ministry, we fell into a common trap.

We overtrained.

Continue reading "Over-Trained and Overwhelmed Leaders" »

February 5, 2007

Witnessing from Weakness at Work

conversation.jpgOne of the greatest shames of my life is that never once during my first job out of college did I share the Gospel with any of the people I worked with. While my friends there certainly knew I graduated from a Christian college, went to church, and believed in God, in several years of working together that was all they knew about faith in my life. At the time, my focus was so much on learning the ins and outs of magazine publishing and meeting my earthly achievement goals (after all, this was my dream!), that I failed to see the people around me as lost souls in need of a Savior and instead saw them as people to laugh with and learn from.

Though I know I'm forgiven for this sin, to this day I can't think of certain colleagues without wincing - and praying that they are surrounded by Christians, who, unlike me, dare share their faith at work.

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January 6, 2007

Working Well with Men

It's almost impossible to talk about gender issues without crashing into all the stereotypes about work-obsessed men, overly sensitive women, and the nasty label that gets attached to assertive women in the workplace. So let me say this from the get go: Each sex has its strengths and weak spots, and the issues we face when we work together are the result of these strengths and weaknesses. The more we understand about the relational dynamics between men and women, the more effectively we can work together.

Here's what every woman needs to know about working with men:

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