on Kyria.com
When the Passion Fades
Is this a sign that God wants us to quit?
I’m in the midst of leading a project I don’t feel particularly passionate about. It didn’t start out this way. I launched into it with great enthusiasm. I was confident I was following God’s will by pursuing the project, but as time has passed and I’ve grown less enamored with it, I’m wondering whether I misread the signs.
Truth be told, the project isn’t meeting my expectations. I feel defeated that it’s not as successful as it ought to be. In essence, my interest is waning because it doesn’t feel worth my time. My ebbing interest makes me wonder: Is passion always an indicator of God’s will? I’m pretty sure that God has called people to things they weren’t necessarily passionate about. I’m sure they felt defeated and unsuccessful too. (Insert Moses, David, or nearly any biblical character you can think of as a prime example.)
Why do we do this then? Why do we equate passion—or a lack of it—with God’s will or plan for our lives? Why do we so easily throw in the towel when we lose passion? Why are we quick to walk away from a job or project when we find ourselves a little defeated?
4 Creative Ways to Thank Volunteers
Keep them coming back after the holidays
’Tis the season—the season when church leaders and volunteers feel the squeeze of work and family life. From Christmas cards to gift wrapping to party planning, Christmas adds a new dimension to our already hectic lives.
And then there’s church! For weeks, volunteers have been feverishly preparing Christmas programs, organizing gift markets, coordinating food drives. Church workers have been hard-pressed on every side with little relief.
All of the extra work that comes with the Christmas season—even when it’s fulfilling and meaningful—can lead to year-end burnout. So now is a perfect time to get creative about how you show appreciation to your ministry volunteers. Here are a few creative ways to say thank you as you begin the new year.
Bringing Justice to Bangladesh
How one young leader discovered a piece of God’s heart
When Sarah Aulie travelled to India in her mid-20s, she went seeking direction and clarity. Like so many of her post-college peers, she wasn’t sure what path her life should take. While she was in India, though, a series of unplanned events unfolded—experiences that changed the course of her life and the lives of women in India and Bangladesh.
At the same time God was opening her eyes to the plight of women in India and Bangladesh, Sarah was also learning about the folkloric tradition of kantha quilting. In kantha quilting, the material from the discarded saris of the rich is used by the poor to make quilts. Drawn to this practical and artful craft, Sarah sensed there would be a market in the U.S. for these beautiful blankets. And this would be a way to provide jobs for her precious new friends. And these jobs would provide an alternative to returning to prostitution after they left the government home when they turned 18.
4 Ways to Prevent Unintentional Gossip
Take care when telling other people’s stories
Sometimes I’m taken aback by how much gossip has become an acceptable part of our culture. Whether it’s learning the 411 on the celebrity of the hour or following the latest political gossip on Twitter, it’s hard to turn on the television or walk through the checkout lane of the grocery store without catching a whiff of some juicy news that may or may not be true.
Even though gossip has become somewhat of a national pastime, Paul advises Timothy, a young leader in the church, to protect what has been entrusted to him by avoiding empty gossip: “Guard what God has entrusted to you. Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge. Some people have wandered from the faith by following such foolishness” (1 Timothy 6:20-21).
Hitting the Wall
What to do when you see it closing in
Every once in a while...especially in busy seasons of life or ministry, I hit the wall.
I know I’ve hit the wall when:
• I’ve reached my compliant quota. When one more complaint, question, or criticism will put me over the edge.
• Questions become personal attacks. A simple question for clarity feels like a personal attack on my judgment or character.
• The idea of being with people stresses me out.
I don’t think it’s unusual for leaders to hit the wall. Leadership is relational. Leaders are faced with many decisions, problems, and concerns. In fact, leaders typically deal with the toughest, most emotionally challenging issues within the organization. But as leaders we have to be aware when we’re about to hit this wall, and we have to take steps to put on the brakes before we crash into it.
The “Gender Ghetto” in the Church
In a world of hurt, is fighting for a place at the table worth our time?
In a recent article in the Huffington Post, Cathleen Falsani asks readers to list three of the top evangelical women leaders under sixty. Falsani contends it's hard to do and the title of her post suggests the reason why: "Jesus is Still Surrounded By Too Many Men." To lend readers a hand with the question, Falsani suggests that author and speaker, Margaret Feinberg (also a Gifted for Leadership blogger), should top the list. After all, Feinberg is a prolific writer who speaks at many large events throughout the country and was dubbed as an upcoming leader in American evangelicalism by Charisma Magazine. Even so, Falsani observes, Feinberg is, “probably the most influential young woman leader in evangelicalism you've never heard of.”
In a phone interview, Falsani asked Feinberg why she was one of the only women speaking at these large Christian events. Is there a "gender ghetto" in evangelical Christianity? Falsani wondered. Feinberg didn't think so; Fienberg believes that at the grass-roots level, the situation is changing for women—even if relatively few have places of national prominence. Yet at the end of her interview, Feinberg, who I deeply admire and respect, said something I’d like to explore a bit further. It was this:
Is Michele Bachmann the Right Person for President?
Margaret Feinberg speaks out in The Washington Post
GiftedforLeadership.com writer Margaret Feinberg recently contributed to The Washington Post in a roundtable discussion on the issue of biblical submission, servant leadership, women leaders, and the changes taking place in conservative Christianity. Her article looks at questions including:
How do modern evangelicals understand biblical teachings on women's roles?
How would a President Bachmann balance biblical submission and political leadership?
Check out Margaret's article, and then come back to this post and let us know your thoughts on this issue.
And Then There Were None
Three things to do when people leave your small group
Groups. We’ve all been in one where the numbers keep whittling down until it’s just you and the leader left.
When you’re the one leading, what do you do if people start leaving yours?
I Was a Reverse Discriminator
My gender-based policy revealed my spirit of fear
It would take a lot for me to change my mind about allowing men to be alone with my children.
Seven years counseling women recovering from all kinds of horrors experienced at the hands of men, a season that coincided with my first seven years of motherhood, instilled in me a firm belief that men should not be caregivers for kids. At least not for mine.
Yet this month, for the first time ever, I hired a male babysitter.
In years past, not leaving my children with a man seemed like a no-brainer: Most sex abusers are men, so I figured if I never left my kids alone with one, then the odds of victimization would go down. Easy enough.
IRS Increases Mileage Rate
The Internal Revenue Service announced it has increased the optional standard mileage rate that employers can use to reimburse employees who drive personal vehicles for business purposes.
The IRS increased the rate to 55.5 cents per mile for travel occurring between July 1 and December 31.
The rate was 51 cents for January 1 to June 30.
Many pastors and staff members drive their personal vehicles for church-related business, such as visitations or special events. If properly tracked, those miles can be reimbursed by churches (or pastors and staff members may be able to calculate a deduction for their annual tax returns).
Chapter 7 of the 2011 Church & Clergy Tax Guide further explains reimbursements of transportation expenses.
This post originally appeared on TheYourChurchBlog.com, a sister site of GiftedforLeadership.com at Christianity Today.
4 Tips for Time Off
Making the most of vacations
One of the things I tend to neglect (and I know many leaders who struggle with this as well) is fully utilizing vacation time. I underestimate the value of rejuvenation that happens when I disconnect my mind from my usual routine and responsibility. I too easily miss the importance of time with family and friends, laughing, playing, and resting. And oftentimes my vacation is nearly over before I’ve really started to rest and relax.
The more complex my life and leadership get, the more I realize vacations are not a luxury; they are a necessity. In order to make the most of vacation, I’ve found I have to do four things:
Plan vacation time well in advance. I get it on the calendar early so I have something to look forward to and so that all the other demands on my time don’t edge it out.
Rest
One critical skill most leaders never master
As Christians, we live in a performance-based culture that measures success according to how much you can cram into your life. The more you do, the more you're doing, so to speak. This mentality has, by and large, infiltrated the church, and you don't have to look beyond the church's leadership to see that. Many pastors are over-worked and burned-out, and their families suffer as a result.
This over-commitment is also the reason many pastors are more susceptible to moral failures. A recent study gave each participant either a two-digit number or a seven-digit number to remember. Then, each participant was sent down a hallway, individually, where they were presented with two options: a sensible cup of fruit, or a delicious (but extremely unhealthy) piece of chocolate cake. The participants had to choose which one they would accept.
What the study found was this: The participants who were trying to remember the seven-digit number were TWICE as likely to choose the cake.
Why did this happen? According to the scientist who conducted the study, Professor Baba Shiv, "Those extra numbers took up valuable space in the brain—they were a 'cognitive load'—making it that much harder to resist a decadent dessert. In other words, willpower is so weak, and the prefrontal cortex is so overtaxed, that all it takes is five extra bits of information before the brain starts to give in to temptation."
Leading in the Midst of Woundedness
God sometimes builds our platform—and our purpose—from our pain.
I am not sure the North American church in general does the right thing on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. Then again, I don’t always attend church on these feel-good holidays because frankly, they don’t make me feel so good.
As a 38-year-old woman who married in her mid-30s, my biological clock ticks on and my womb and arms remain empty, at least for now. I focus on seminary, and ministry, and family, and friends, and work, but I haven’t given up hope on the fertility front. I am in that awkward in-between place, where I get asked if I want kids while women everywhere suddenly seem to sprout baby bumps.
Should Women Lead in the Church?
Out of Ur videos stir the debate.
Out of Ur, a Gifted for Leadership sister site at Christianity Today, features three videos of church leaders sharing their perspectives on women in leadership in the church.
First, Rose Madrid-Swetman, who co-pastors a church with her husband, discusses how we're missing out on half of what God has to say when women aren't allowed to lead. Part 2 features Bill Kynes of the Gospel Coalition, who unpacks his perspective on why women shouldn't be elders. In Part 3, theologian N.T. Wright gives a biblical case for the full inclusion of women in the orders of the church.
What are your thoughts on the issues presented in these videos? What are constructive ways to respond when these kinds of questions about women in leadership arise?
Let's engage in an honest, respectful dialogue and learn from each other. To see what Out of Ur readers are saying, click on the links on each person's name above.
Too Famous?
What to do when your connections exceed your capacity.
Last week two high school girls skipped over to me and announced with smiles, "We want a small group, and we want you to lead it!" There's nothing I love more than being with faithful and available students who want to grow in their relationship with God. But something strange happened in my heart at that moment, something I've been wrestling with for several months. My heart said, turn them down.
A Pink Flamingo in a Sea of Blue Herons
One woman in preaching class
Entering the room, I looked up to view this semester's preaching class. I mentioned something about the lack of estrogen, to which the professor replied: "You'll need to assert yourself in class." It was then that the truth became evident. I was the only woman in a preaching class of 20 men.
I felt myself becoming unglued. God, you led me to this seminary. It's hard enough to be a woman getting a theology degree, and now I have to put up with a whole semester of men, many of whom don't believe in my call to preach?
I wanted the floor to swallow me up, to take me back to one of the familiar places where I could use some of my gifts without making waves, without standing out like a pink flamingo in a sea of blue herons.
Continue reading "A Pink Flamingo in a Sea of Blue Herons" »
Motherhood and Ministry
Helping moms embrace God’s mission.
Kathy, a friend of mine who serves as an elder at her church, recently shared an issue with me that she and her fellow leaders constantly wrestle with. "We always need more volunteers in our church, but it's so hard to ask moms to get more involved in ministry," she said. "They are already so tired, so busy; I don't even want to ask them to do anything else. Maybe after their kids get older, we can get them involved again."
I wonder how often in our churches we assume that once a woman becomes a mother, she has to put her potential contributions in the church on hold for an indefinite period (with the exception of serving in the church nursery or Sunday school program).
Heading Home After Holy Moments
This Sunday, just before we left for church, my daughter stopped me as I passed through the living room.
“Look,” she said. “The shepherds are headed home.”
I followed her waved out, game-show-hostess arm and saw what she was talking about: the nativity. In our house—as in many—the crèche in our living room gets a lot of action during Christmas. The characters get rearranged. They fall off tables. I dig Baby Jesus—snug in his hay-filled manager—out from under the sofa a lot. And sometimes, if they are lucky, the nativity folks get a visit from others: Barbie or Freddie, the Little People mechanic might pop in to say hey.
But, since Christmas was over, my daughter thought it was high time the shepherds get rolling. My girl had turned all the shepherds away from the Jesus, Mary and Joseph and had moved them clear across the table.
Headed home. Of course.
How long could the shepherds stay and admire the baby?
The Delicate Balance Between Head and Heart, Part II
Last week in Part I of this post, I asked, "In light of the often high-running emotions of a women’s small group, how do we hold them in check? How can a leader strike a balance between saturating women with the truth of God’s Word, but also providing them with the emotional support they need?"
Many of you offered wonderful suggestions. No, as promised, here are a few of mine:
Continue reading "The Delicate Balance Between Head and Heart, Part II" »
The Delicate Balance Between Head and Heart, Part I
It all began with a seemingly innocent question: “Does anyone have any prayer requests?”
An hour later, the prayer requests were still going strong.
For many women’s small groups, this is a common occurrence. Prayer requests and even Bible study time can often turn into long-running therapy sessions in which women unload the anxieties and worries of their weeks onto a sympathetic group of listening ears.
While this is certainly a healthy function of a body of Christian believers, it becomes problematic when it dominates the small group’s time. I was once a part of a small group in which we tried multiple strategies for reining in the long-winded sharers. We tried shifting our prayer request time to the beginning of the meeting, and we put time limits on how long people could share. Neither of these strategies really worked, and they instead left us feeling altogether disingenuous. Cutting people off while they were crying about marital problems or their sick Aunt Melba didn’t exactly foster openness and authentic fellowship. So the problem continued.
After a while, this aspect of women’s small groups has gotten under my skin.
Continue reading "The Delicate Balance Between Head and Heart, Part I " »
Three Cheers for Men
This fall I’ve been through one of the biggest transitions in my career, and it’s not just the job responsibilities. After spending seven years in working almost exclusively with women, I now spend the majority of my time with men.
And I love it.
For a woman as “pro-women” as I am, it’s a little hard to write that sentence. I have a stake in promoting women. I want to be part of a generation that works to bring women to the table in all areas of leadership. I think it’s time, and I think it’s good for the church.
But all too often, the pro-women conversation can get a little sharp. Conversations with women about finding their place in ministry easily morph into “what’s-wrong-with-men” gripe-fests.
What's Right with People?
Last month, at a benefit for Breakthrough Urban Ministries, my friend Arloa Sutter—its founder and executive director as well as author of The Invisible: What the Church Can Do to Find and Serve the Least of These—said their ministry goals stretched beyond feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, finding jobs for the jobless and giving hope to the hopeless. Their ministry, according to Arloa, also wants to change the way people look at urban youth. Particularly the urban youth that lives in Arloa and Breakthrough’s neighborhood, which happens to be not only one of the most dangerous in Chicago, but in all the nation.
“We need to stop looking at what’s wrong with urban youth,” Arloa said. “We need to start looking at what’s right with these kids.”
Ever have those moments where the tears just seem to flood up from nowhere? When you can barely catch your breath, let alone stop the flow of tears because something just touched your heart and head in such a profound way? Hearing Arloa say those words was one of these moments for me.
The Church Bashing Trend
Kathryn Stockett’s The Help has been one of my recently treasured reads. An intricate tale of racism in Jackson, Mississippi, that I found myself both enthralled and appalled with as I turned her pages.
Sotckett, anticipating this judgment on her home state said, “Mississippi is like my mother. I am allowed to complain about her all I want, but God help the person who raises an ill word around me.”
In other words: watch the criticism unless you’ve been on the inside.
In Stockett’s protective sentiment, I found words for a timely conversation that has nothing to do with domestic life in Mississippi but everything to do with upbringing and speaking into one’s native landscape.
In particular, who, among the current critics of Evangelicalism has earned the right to criticize harshly and still be heard?
'Wild-Hearted' Daughters
If you read the GFL e-newsletter, you may recall my mention of a certain giddiness when I saw an ad for a one-day conference about “Women and Christian History” being held right in my neighborhood. Well, this past weekend, I went.
Some highlights for me included seeing archaeological evidence of women priests, deacons and elders in the early church, and that Notre Dame in Paris had women priests as recently as the Middle Ages. And I enjoyed learning about ancient Jewish and Roman marriage and divorce practices and how those related to the apparently mis-read and misunderstood story of the Samaritan woman at the well.
But my favorite moment of the day, the one that lingered and has made me smile whenever I replay it, came when Dr. Mimi Haddad talked about the women of the early Evangelical movement. In the 19th and early 20th Century, Dr. Haddad told us, Bible colleges and “institutes” sent out women to preach the gospel in big numbers. Incidentally, many of these Bible colleges she mentioned no longer send women out to preach. At least, not intentionally.
But once upon a time, Dr. Haddad said, women who were “wild-hearted” about following God’s call on their lives and “captivated” by the gospel, were trained and sent out by these institutions that “were proud of their wild-hearted daughters.”
The Big Dig: Unearthing Need in the Church
Since I was small, I have enjoyed the idea of archaeology. Whether a fictional exposition in the movies or the images of real life expositions, I have always been intrigued—not just by the discovery, but primarily by the process. Of course, all sizes of tools are used by archaeologists during their digs for historical artifacts, but I am most captivated by the painstaking care for the treasure by use of the smaller tools and brushes that gently remove dirt, or the sifting of dirt to be sure nothing of value is accidently left behind. The process of unearthing something of value that has been buried for centuries requires a lot of gentleness, patience, and passion.
In a recent conversation with my pastor, we discussed this same idea of unearthing, and in this case, unearthing need. He explained that as he prepares his sermons each week, he keeps in mind not just the needs of the people in the church, but how during his sermon he can help unearth their need. In other words, people don’t always know what their needs are. For him, addressing the needs of the people, moving them from the theological truth to the life-changing application, is as much about the process as it is about the ultimate goal.
Continue reading "The Big Dig: Unearthing Need in the Church" »
Same Message, Different Vehicle
In 1984, I wanted to be Sandra Day O’Conner, the first woman to sit on the U.S. Supreme Court. I wrote to her and tacked her signed picture on my bulletin board. She was a pioneer, and even as an eight-year-old, I revered the place she had made for herself in what I considered a man’s world. This month, Elena Kagan became the fourth woman to sit on the court. Of the nine justices on the court, three are now women.
The gender shift of the Supreme Court speaks to me about how much things have changed for women, even since my time of revering Sandra Day O’Conner. And I wonder, too, how this changing landscape affects the perspectives and needs of young people desiring to follow Jesus Christ—and how the church is responding.
As a 32-year-old leader, I spend a lot of time listening to people older than me argue about what they think people younger than me need or want. There is often a general lamenting of the exodus of young people from the church and the ways to bring them back. There is a sense that the young people just need to get in line with the Bible or “biblical worldview,” stop messing around and messing up their lives. Some of that might be true. But my perspective on this generation is a little different.
Here are three things I’ve found in working with young people:
Our Place in the Rest of the Story
For the past few years Synergy has been turning the pages of God’s remarkable story of his plans for his daughters. Annual conferences have explored:
Your Place in the Story: The Return of the Ezer
Your Relationships in the Story: Defining the Blessed Alliance
Conflict in the Story: The Shaping of a Leader’s Soul
And on March 4-6, 2011 in Orlando the next chapter unfolds: The Rest of the Story: From Here to Eternity. You see, the Story isn’t finished. As God’s image bearers, we have work to do. As members of his Church, we have an invitation from God himself to serve, to make a difference.
Globalization, advancing technology, and seismic cultural shifts mean yesterday and tomorrow won’t look the same. The world is changing even at this moment.
The road ahead will not be smooth, but God is working to take us deeper and strengthen the Blessed Alliance between his sons and daughters.
Bothered by the Business of Church
I’ll admit that I like to pull a Scarlett O’Hara when it comes to the less attractive side of church leadership, like getting the parking lot paved or turning in a budget. “Fiddle dee dee!” I shrug. “I can’t think about that now! I’ll think about that tomorrow…”
I think the business of church can be excruciating. What do you get when you take a room full of over-committed volunteers, mix in some underpaid staff workers, and toss in hundreds (or thousands) of church-goer expectations? How about business leaders who are used to managing corporate dollars combined with under-resourced and over-ambitious “kingdom” plans? Welcome to church business.
The ministry-minded among us tend to be jazzed by relationships, not regulations. We look upon tomes of policy with disdain, fearing death by legalistic rules and passion-less programming. But it’s a fair argument to say that avoiding this church business is not being a good steward of the resources that God provides each of our communities.
We do have to make sure the plumbing runs and the paychecks get cut. We need lights and A/C and erosion control. But church business can take a toll.
Finding Strength in Rest
I saw a shooting star tonight!
I’ve never seen a shooting star before, and I wouldn’t have seen it this time except that I was walking up a rickety wooden pier in the lake and just happened to turn my head to the right, in time to see a brilliant downward flash of light that disappeared only a second after my mind understood what it was. I’m so grateful that I saw it, and all because I was taking the time to do nothing much except give my soul a rest.
I’m taking a few days off from ministry and family time to stay by the water in a little chalet, cosy-ing up with my Bible and my laptop—a great combination. I’ve been walking, sleeping, reading, writing, sleeping some more, and generally relaxing. I’ve found myself talking more to the Lord about stuff that’s been at the back of my mind than I’ve done for ages. Praying isn’t hard, but praying about things that sit under the surface of your thinking generally happens only when you take some time out. That’s what I’m doing right now.
The problem with those of us in ministry is that we run endlessly on our “very important” treadmills, and we rarely take the time to get under the surface of our thought processes to find out what we are really thinking about what we are thinking… sound confused? Well, it’s not really—if you just take the time.
When You Don't Feel Gifted
Who are you calling a leader?
John Maxwell says leadership is influence. Well, if that’s the case, I guess I’ve always been a leader. I’m the oldest child of two strong-willed, independent parents, so I may even have been born a leader! If I were in a group and no one was in charge, it was natural for me to step into the role. People often looked to me for answers and direction. However, I never recognized the patterns of leadership in my ordinary thoughts and actions until recently. As such, acknowledging that gift has been a struggle.
When my senior leaders asked me to transition into the role of executive pastor, I was reluctant. The title alone was intimidating, and I wasn’t sure I could actually lead at that level. Quite honestly, I felt completely inadequate to lead anyone, anywhere. You see, for a long time I didn’t believe I brought anything unique to our organization. Sure, I had some skill sets that added value. But I also believed there were others who possessed those same skills in greater abundance. If I were pulled out and one of them put in my place, the organization wouldn’t miss a beat.
In the last several months God has been quietly reframing the image I’ve had of myself.
Disenchanted
Between sessions at a busy conference, I rushed through my email at a student kiosk. I clicked open an article and time stopped. Finger poised over the mouse, I read the headline about Jennifer Knapp, a million-record-selling, multiple-Dove-award-winning singer-songwriter: “Jennifer Knapp: resisting the label lesbian, but ‘in love with a beautiful woman.’”
I clicked through the article but honestly, I wasn’t that surprised. I’m a big fan of hers, the kind who’d googled Jennifer every few months when she disappeared from the music scene. I’d wondered what was going on in her life that made her make that drastic change. But what did surprise me was my constant thoughts about Jennifer over the next few weeks. What surprised me was my sadness and confusion and deep sense of loss.
The Trouble with Excellence
In an ever-growing list of words that annoy the living daylights out of me, excellence has clawed its way to the top. It’s everywhere, and I’m sick of it.
Funny, because I used to love this word—when written in perfect grade-school-teacher cursive atop a worksheet or when my piano teacher (rarely) scrawled it on top of a page of a songbook. It meant something then because it didn’t always happen—because it recognized something rare and wonderful: achieving excellence.
And yet now in leadership circles this word has become synonymous with how we are to always be, how everything should look or feel or be perceived. While I’m sick of hearing about it in secular leadership circles, I’m actually troubled by how often I’m seeing it pop up among church-folk.
The Gift of Curiosity
“How does a caterpillar make a cocoon?”
My three young children are incessantly curious, asking questions of nature, of people, and of God. As their mother and primary answer-giver, I find their curiosity alternately fascinating and frustrating.
“Why does Emma have two daddies and two mommies?”
I used to relish curiosity. But lately busyness and the relentless demands of motherhood have sapped my inquisitive drive. Now I spend as much time saying “Because!” as I do trying to explain or inspire.
“Mom, why can’t I put my flash drive/battery/wire invention in the electric outlet?”
“Because, honey! Just because! That’s all I can tell you!” I say, a few decibels too loud as I attempt to write this post.
The Conservation Conversation
I love the old hymn “All Creatures of Our God and King.” Whether spiced up by David Crowder or belted out in the King’s English, my soul is forever thankful to St. Francis of Assisi. When his 12th century refrain pops onto the screen in our sanctuary a burgeoning desire for God have me fearlessly belting out the lyrics.
Thou rushing wind that art so strong
Ye clouds that sail in Heaven along,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
This hymn carries my heart to the Creation story and to God’s divine hand moving over the stillness of this planet, jolting it to life and movement and being. It takes me to Psalm 19 where “The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” It carries me to Isaiah where the very mountains and hills burst forth with the life from God.
I cannot stand atop a mountain peak or soak my bare feet in the salty ocean without giving thanks to God for the blessings of Creation. Even in my youth, long before I knew the name of Jesus, my very soul would move and groan for God in nature. Several of the most poignant moments in my life have been in the fullness of God’s created world.
Honoring Moms in a Whole New Way
Last month, I guest-lectured in a Women’s Studies class at Bethel University. My topic was How Motherhood Shapes a Woman’s Soul, but I ended up talking more about how motherhood sort of mirrors God, how being a mom (or hearing from moms) helps us understand God, his relentless love, his willingness to forgive and his patience with the whiney little complainers that we are.
Frankly, I was amazed at how engaged the women (and man) in the class were. I’m used to talking about issues maternal, but usually it’s to moms. Not to 21-year-old college seniors. But either these students were actually interested or exceptionally polite. I prefer to assume the former. After my lecture, we even had a lively round of Q&A. They asked lots of great questions, but two have really stayed with me.
The first that stuck was: “Why would anyone want to have kids?”
And the other was: “Why haven’t we ever heard this before? Why is it that I’ve gone to church my whole life and never once heard that moms might have special insight into God that should be shared?”
The first question made me laugh (and made me realize perhaps I ought to be guest-lecturing in abstinence classes!). The second question made me want to cry.
Do Your Thing
Tracy is a thirty-something mom living out her faith. The embodiment of her compassion has curly hair, mocha eyes and a healthy appetite—a six-week old foster child she keeps as a volunteer in a Christian crisis care organization. Last month, I visited Tracy for a few days. I watched her care for this sweet baby boy, marveling and worrying like a true mother. Her love and service touched me deeply.
And I wanted none of it.
I pondered on the long drive home. I knew that Tracy was doing important work. She was changing a life and influencing others with a tangible expression of “love your neighbor.” But as much as I admire Tracy, I didn’t rush to fill out any foster baby forms.
My friend Anne is another big-hearted woman who loves God. She is currently arranging backyard Bible clubs—in her backyard and others—so that she can teach her children and their friends this summer. Anne expresses her Jesus-passion in songs and crafts and joy that makes children love her.
And I want none of that.
Backyard Bible clubs and foster babies? It’s just…not my thing.
Choosy Leaders Choose (Like) Jesus
Samuel showed up on a Wednesday evening about the time we were beginning our fellowship meal, insisting he and I sit at a table by ourselves. He told me that he was possessed by a demon that had plagued him for much of his life. Some of his family members experienced the same thing. He made a fist around his ear lobe, indicating the kind of excruciating pain it caused.
But then a smile appeared on his face. “Last week, when I attended your prayer service, the pain stopped. I felt a relief from it that I have never felt before.”
I was speechless (an oddity for me). “Really?” I asked, “Last week? At our prayer service?” I looked around to see if anyone was overhearing this conversation. My clergy ego told me to take pride. My modern mind told me to beware.
The Crazy Dark Days
Leadership is lonely.
We know that. We’ve been told that a zillion different ways from a million different leaders.
But, have you ever had one of those days that is beyond just lonely? One of those days where it feels so dark, like the world is closing in and you want to just walk away?
I call those the dark days of leadership. The days when the shades of gray are so thick you can’t see hope for the future at all. The days where you question everything. The days when your confidence and commitment seem nearly gone.
Lonely days are one thing, but dark days are lethal.
Woe Now! 3 Questions for Leaders
I’m a lover of the future. Some live for tradition; my heart beats for the what-ifs and what’s-to-comes in life. So when I found myself using all my mental strength to analyze my future status of my current positions of leadership, I thought it was just part of my personality. Then God interrupted, via Nancy Ortberg.
Ortberg’s book, Looking for God, closes with a chapter on recognizing the sins we consider minor, that God certainly does not:
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Matthew 23:25.
Ortberg says, “At least [Jesus] could have accused them of some A-list sins. You know, the ones I could never commit…I could convince myself that Jesus’ criticism of the Pharisees had absolutely nothing to do with me.” I nod my head along as I read, my inner Pharisee taking over, preferring to look away—or at others—whenever a verse starts with “woe.” Yet when Ortberg points out how close to home this verse should hit, how well acquainted she is with greed and self-indulgence, I was taken. Perhaps the landscape of my heart needed a good scrubbing.
Here are three questions I asked myself about the relevance of this “Woe”:
When Ideology Trumps Theology
I’m a glutton for punishment. I could have decided to slouch along the sidelines of ministry and watch the many controversies within the church zip past. Perhaps peeking over the pew on occasion and catching a slight breeze off the mini-tornadoes of debate that exist under the umbrella that is American Evangelicalism.
Public prayer, the roles of women, the role of the Holy Spirit, capital punishment, responses to poverty, HIV/AIDS, divorce, adult or infant baptism, health or wealth . . . . . .
But you see I’m optimistic to a fault so I have decided to throw myself into a few of the storms. Sort of like that completely unrealistic heifer in the movie “Twister.” I decided to ride the windy tumult on occasion. Most recently, I became a Christian environmentalist.
Leadership and Betrayal
This month I took our four-year-old daughter for her annual checkup. She was scheduled to get two shots that day. I came prepared. My purse was stuffed with lollipops, magic tricks and a whole host of distractions.
The visit went well. At first. The doctor applauded her efforts to write her name and jump on one foot. She pronounced her a healthy, vibrant little girl. I was pleased.
Then came the nurse, quick on her feet. Before I could unwrap the lollipop that first shot was in her arm. A loud shriek resounded from every wall in that office. Then came the next shot. I wrapped my daughter in a hug and assured her it would be OK. But when our eyes met, I could see that “OK” was not what she was thinking. Refusing the lollipop (at first), she looked at me with eyes that said, “How could you?” It was the look of betrayal.
When pain is expected, it is hard enough. But when pain is unexpected, as in betrayal, it is worse. Even a strawberry lollipop cannot mend what has been torn.
A Woman's Voice
Voice. It’s one of our favorite buzz words.
Unique, fresh, distinct, moving, authentic, powerful, smart. All words used to describe the kinds of voices to which we are drawn—the voices who end up stacked on our nightstands and streaming through our iPods. GFL was created by and for leaders whose pulse quicken at the actualization of leaders who find and use their (unique, fresh, distinct, moving, authentic, powerfully smart) voices to impact the world for Christ.
My resounding Amen to that statement, however, has become complicated by an increasing awareness of how gender affects the voices we—both men and women—are willing to cuddle up with late at night or sweat to for miles on the treadmill. Do our choices reflect an attachment of gender-based value to the voice or do men and women simply filter voices differently because we are made differently? Genetic hard-wiring compounded by church background, family history and cultural influence have left me scratching my head: Is it possible to listen well despite our gender differences? And is it more difficult for a man to listen well to a woman?
Confessions of a Worship Leader
As a worship leader, I’m not always comfortable on stage. I’ve struggled with this my whole life. Unlike my extroverted husband, I don’t like being the life of the party, the one everyone’s looking at. I dread the thought of people analyzing whether my skirt matches my tights as I lead them in the worship of our Savior.
To be fair, I’m sure most people aren’t judging my hosiery. I fabricate most of these perceptions. And awhile ago I realized I’ve got more important concerns during a service, so I prayed that God would take my insecurities that I might focus on the fierce power of worshiping Christ as his church.
I know God has gifted and equipped me for this ministry, but that doesn’t always mean it comes easily—or naturally. I make many clumsy mistakes as I grow into these gifts that, like ill-fitting attire, often feel cumbersome and awkward on my frame.
Gospel in the Dirt
One day, my sixth-grade science teacher announced we were about to begin a secret experiment. She immediately got our attention.
The clandestine study was an analysis of house dust. We would get to scrutinize the stuff under microscopes and find out what it contained. Stealthily, we collected dust samples from various locations in our households; the strict secrecy was necessitated by the rumor that our mothers would shut us down if they got word of this public exhibition of dust bunnies. Dust was meant to be kept in the dark, its embarrassing existence denied in the interest of maintaining the fiction that every kid had a spotless, happy home.
Like the mothers of my sixth-grade class, I’m invested in what the world thinks of me. Before company comes, I race around wiping down surfaces and committing telltale dust bunnies to the garbage can. When we’re trying to convince the world that we’re clean, it’s not only our homes that are on display. With family and friends, at work, and, for many of us, especially at church, we strive to show others a pristine life, a life that is whole.
Heading to Synergy!
When I thought I’d miss the upcoming Synergy Conference in Orlando, I was bummed. Yes, a teeny bit of it had to do with my longing for warmth and Florida sunshine in the long, dark Chicago winters, but really, the conference could be held in the North Pole, and I’d be thrilled to go.
That it’s in Orlando in March is really just icing on the cake. But the “cake” is what’s really yummy. In the years I’ve attended Synergy, I’ve met great friends, made good ministry contracts, and learned so much from the wonderful women and men who speak and attend. It’s the sort of place you go and just know God is present—and at work in the hearts, minds, souls and bodies of his people.
Honestly, each year I’ve gone has been stellar, but this year’s theme—“Conflict in the Story”—and speaker line-up has me pretty over the moon. Look at this lineup:
No Questions Asked
You would have thought he was in kindergarten: (Hand waving frantically) “Me! Me! Send me!”
Who was this eager emissary? The prophet Isaiah. His story is told in Isaiah 6.
He had just seen the glory of the Lord, fallen on his face bemoaning his unclean lips—and had those same lips seared by an angel with a hot coal! So when God (Father, Son and Spirit) remarked, “Who will go for us? Whom shall we send?” Isaiah was the first to volunteer.
I might not have been so quick to respond. I’m sure I would have had a few questions:
Women Telling the Story
Without dispute, women’s voices in the local church have incredible significance, as these voices give way to a greater understanding of how women think and experience God and the Christian life. Any dispute generally has to do with the realm where these voices are heard, but for certain both men and women have much to learn about each other and how God is at work through these stories and experiences.
In her recent post, Tracey Bianchi wrote about the significance of women’s voices as teachers in the local church.
"…a woman proclaiming God’s Word with hands that smell like marinated artichokes can hit the heart of another woman in a way men cannot…women have stories to tell about life and God, just as our male partners on the journey do. The chance to preach from their perspectives is honoring God’s call to the community of Christ."
Though I am not committed to Tracey’s ultimate conclusions in terms of how this plays out in the pulpit, her position is clearly grounded in an authentic love for the community of believers and for God. And I embrace her core argument that there is tremendous value for men learning more about how women experience the Christian life. In further agreement, we as women teachers can reach women in ways men simply cannot—because of our shared experiences.
To what degree are women in your church equipped, encouraged, and positioned to proclaim God’s Word to one another?
Modern Mentorship
My cell phone buzzes while I fix my kids lunch:
“omg my prof is telling us bout why Christians are judgmentl and there are many paths to God should I say something?? pls pray for me to b bold”
This is a text message I received from one of my favorite people: a bright-eyed, skinny-jean-wearing college senior named Jes. I think of her as my babysitter. I recently learned through a friend that she thinks of me as her “number one mentor.”
This is modern mentorship?
Juggling Casseroles and a Calling
I preached a sermon several weeks ago. A big one for me. The biggest of my life actually. And while I do my very best not to mess up on a regular basis, we all know that some occasions press a little harder on your nervous system than others. This was one of them. “Just don’t screw this up,” I kept whispering to myself.
Of course, other, more important thoughts about preaching God’s Word also ran through my jittery little mind. Thoughts that reminded me this was really God’s sermon, not my opportunity to ramble. That the Spirit of God would use any effort, even a disjointed one, to work in people’s hearts. That less of me and more of God was all that anyone needed anyway.
And as I lived into all of these realities, I found myself in a fairly calm rhythm the night before my sermon. But what I slammed into that next morning, was the odd world that many women in ministry inhabit on a regular basis.
Let's Talk About Sex
No matter where you are, they will find you. Flip on the television to watch your favorite show, there they are. Go to the supermarket and buy your groceries at the checkout stand, there they are. Drive down the freeway, there they are. Turn on the radio in the car or your home, there they are. Log on to the Internet and navigate to your favorite websites, and, yup, they are there. Sexual images are everywhere, and advertisers as well as media content programming executives know that “sex sells.” Yet, the most troublesome issue with these images is not their pervasiveness nor even sex itself, but rather the image of sex they are perpetuating. As Laurie Abraham, the executive editor of Elle magazine, stated, “The worst thing about women’s magazines is how much we lie about sex.”
Last month, I participated in a panel discussion at a local church on the topic of female sexuality in which over 800 women participated, either by attending the sessions in person or by logging in online. The number of attendees, along with the quantity and quality of their questions about biblical sexuality, made one thing clear: as Christian leaders, especially female Christian leaders, we need to talk more about sex and we need to talk about it more deeply.
Learning Curves
If my life had a theme for 2009 it was this: Learning curves. Specifically, learning curves of the steep and tricky, zippy, herky-jerky type. Though this theme wouldn’t have occurred to me if it weren’t for the sales guy at the Apple store yesterday. I had gone because the screen of my current laptop is sporting a nice crack that allows me to see only the top two-thirds diagonal of the screen. And everyone and their mother seems to be telling me now is the right time to switch back to the Mac.
So, anyway, yesterday as I quizzed the sales guy on exactly why the Mac would transform my life as I know it, I leaned in to hear his wisdom above the buzz of the crowds. After pointing out various features and “cool stuff,” the poor guy just said the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time: “The learning curve can be pretty steep for those coming from PC to Macs….”
Ach. My body tensed. My heart raced. The sales guy lost his sale. While normally I am big on learning and while normally I would not fear the week or two “transition” it would take for me to get used to a new operating system (and frankly, while normally I would doubt it would take me that long), I could not deal with another learning curve. Not this year.
Lead Like...the Amish?
A month or so ago, Suzanne Woods Fisher sent me a copy of her new book, Amish Peace, with a note that said, “The chapter called ‘For the Good of the Community’ might have some leadership applications for GFL.”
Although I was a bit skeptical on what a book about the Amish and peace might have to say about women in ministry leadership, since I' love Suzanne's writing and since all things Amish are pretty “hot” right now (at least in the publishing world) I cracked the book open—maybe there was an Amish leadership angle after all.
And lo and behold, at the end of this little chapter were some words that struck me—and have stayed with me since I read them. I think there is indeed some application—especially for us leaders who tend to fall in the “comparison/competition” camp more than the “cooperative” one. But I’ll share what I read and then we can discuss.
Here’s an excerpt from Suzanne Woods Fisher’s Amish Peace:
Easily Distracted
My eight-year-old daughter and I share a fault: we are both easily distracted. While on her way to washing her hands, it’s not unusual for her to get interested in something she passes along the way to the bathroom. She pauses, engages, and forgets to wash her hands. Her curiosity and wonder often account for her distracted-ness.
The reason behind my ability to be distracted is far less honorable. I’ll attribute it to a plain ol’ lack of self-discipline. Supposed to be working? Well, I’ll just check my email real quick. Trying to read while the T.V. or radio is on? Can’t do it. Tidying up the house? My husband calls my approach the “Zen method” of housecleaning, meaning that there is no easily discernible pattern to it. I pick up something in one room and take it to another room to put it away. While in that room I find something else that needs to be tidied or cleaned. Then I stroll to another room to get some cleaning supplies, and there I’m distracted from my task by something that needs to be picked up in that room. I don’t attack one room at a time. Rather, after a while, the whole house is straightened. My approach is shaped by the distractions I find hard to resist.
I walked a labyrinth for the first time a few years ago at a conference for Christian leaders. That particular labyrinth included stations with tactile activities to foster reflection. On the table of one station I found a map with a compass on it. Also on the map were some small magnets. I was to move the magnets around the compass and watch how they pulled the needle from “true north” to “false north.” The question for meditation was, “What distractions in your life are pulling you away from God, the true north?” It was a transformative question for me. My answers were not tasks but attitudes.
Unconditional Love
As Christians we’re commanded to love our neighbors, our enemies, and—as leaders—the people we’re called to lead and minister to. But what does this look like when we’re not exactly loved in return?
By definition, of course, godly, unconditional love doesn’t require love in return. I know that. God loved me first—long before I loved Him, when I was definitely living in my sins. And even after I responded to that love and accepted his gift of salvation, I haven’t always loved him well—you know, by obeying Him. But he has never quit loving me.
Parents learn this early. Even before a baby is born, they love her. And the moment they see her, they are head over heels in love. It’s a good thing. Because that baby demands everything and gives no love in return for the longest time. Fortunately they grow up and learn to love. Unfortunately, when they become teens, sometimes they break our hearts with words like, “Leave me alone! I hate you!”
Our son has been God’s gift to me to help me begin to comprehend what it means to love someone unconditionally. He came to our family just before he turned 10, from a very difficult early childhood.
What Would Mary Blog?
When I started my consulting business, I did the obvious thing: I put up a website describing my services. Pretty standard fare. I recall a colleague calling a website an “authenticator” for a small business: you don’t have one, you don’t look legit.
Five years later I’m noticing that keeping a blog is becoming a kind of authenticator – implying that a person’s thoughtful, that she has something to say. A little tagline closing a short bio that directs people to more.
I was a late adaptor to the blogging world; I didn’t get it at first. It all seemed so forced and self-important—like a reality TV show in online journal format. But eventually I began wading into the blogosphere—first creating a private blog for family when we moved cross-country; then a public blog on parenting preschoolers when this venture began occupying most of my life and brain space. I started reading others’ blogs more regularly and was inspired, enlightened, challenged, encouraged.
Blogging seems particularly well-suited to a person with leadership gifts. A leader is by definition someone who influences others, and blogging is an ideal vehicle to communicate ideas and extend influence. So it makes sense that many who are natural leaders also blog – their doing so can benefit countless others.
The challenge, though, is in the tool itself--a method of organizing thoughts for others’ consideration.
Finding God in the Chatter
Last Friday evening, a casual outdoor party in my neighborhood culminated with a half-dozen girls sprawled across my living room. As they compared splits and talked about the upcoming school year, I held skinny feet in the air as each attempted the perfect handstand. I remarked to the gaggle that I thought I could still break out a split if not for the dress I was wearing. A lanky blond with hair as long and straight as her nine-year-old legs leaned into me, whispering conspiratorially: “Oh go ahead, it’s just us girls.”
Just us girls. The living room could hardly contain the beauty, joy, and potential of those women in the making. I marveled at being invited to witness such life.
I love being part of a generation that esteems women like never before and passes that on to these girls. Women have reached new heights of success in every arena. The world is a better place because of our achievement and innovation. Yet often our complex nature and this broken world crash together like the girls falling out of their handstands. We are all head bumps and soul bruises.
I wonder what will become of those free-spirited females as their lives expand beyond the cul-de-sac and elementary school, when the world’s messages threaten their joy. My night with the girls gave me reason to pause and think about what voices they’ll hear as they become women:
What We're Asked to Change
During a recent breakfast meeting, an apparently well-meaning supporter of my husband’s campaign for State Representative told him that he really should’ve changed his name “like the Jews used to do” if he’s serious about politics. It’s a racist world, the man said, and people just won’t want to vote for a Rafael Rivadeneira. Too Latin.
My husband laughed at the offense and ridiculousness (“Maybe he doesn’t realize a guy named Barack Obama sits in the Oval Office,” Raf said) as he told me this, but the blood drained from my face. My hands burned as I clutched them together.
In the years of being married to a Latino—who certainly has run into racist jabs and slurs—I don’t think I’d ever been so angry at something someone said, at least regarding race. Because this tapped into the deepest roots of hatred, racism and ignorance. Into the part that said if he wanted to succeed, he had to make others more comfortable with who he was—by becoming someone else. That to succeed on a particular path, he had to change something central to who he was—and more importantly, who God made him to be. And that gets me. Big time.
Advent Redux
I've spent much of this week thinking about Advent---as I've brainstormed some ideas for an upcoming Advent service at my church. I had it in my head--and in fact had it partly written on paper--to write a piece on Advent. But every time I thought of GFL and Advent, my mind went back to a post written by Bonnie McMaken last year.
Jesus in the World of Worthless Daughters
“Thank you, Mother, for raising a worthless daughter.”
These words , part of a lament of a bride going to meet her husband for the first time, summed up the experience of women in China in the 1800’s, according to Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. In this book Lisa See brings to light the reality of life for a female in that society: No value, no rights, raised for a husband’s family, enduring the years of footbinding torture and subsequent crippling, totally dependent on the desires of her parents/brothers/husband/mother-in-law. She had no purpose—except to bear a son—and no hope.
These words, sadly, have been echoed across countless generations and cultures. In many places a woman has a place in life only if she becomes the mother of a son. In some African nations female genital cutting is still practiced, creating unimagined agony for preteen girls and sentencing them to a lifetime of pain. In Southeast Asia and many other places children are sold—often by their poverty-stricken parents—as sex slaves.
In Half the Sky, Pulitzer Prize winning authors Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn horrify us with statistics like this:
Continue reading "Jesus in the World of Worthless Daughters" »
Cannibals in Christendom
I come from a long line of cannibals. My ancestors loved to chew up (and sometimes spit out) people. Mine was a particularly heinous group that made no distinction between “them” and “us.” Members of our own family were just as likely to fall victim as were others. Imagine the tensions that arose when we gathered—each one wondering who might be served up next.
In their defense, my family lived in darkness. Then, the frigid winter I turned 10, one brilliant, fiery flame warmed within me the hope of a different way of living—of turning away from snarling, biting, and chewing to embracing others. I became like Edward Cullen of Twilight fame, recognizing my evil heritage, engaged in a struggle with the nature of my flesh.
Unfortunately, the flame was quenched that had begun to glow within me. With no one to add the kindling of truth to the sputtering spark within, the ember grew cold. Broken bonds, wicked words, and shattered souls littered the path of my life, until one day it all became more than I could bear alone. Tired and out of fight, I found myself knocking on the door of Christendom. Surely I would find refuge there!
Grounded
“It doesn’t matter what happens next, it’s not going to bother me.”
I confidently exercised my faith aloud to the disbelieving passenger next to me. He snorted, as though he understood something I didn’t.
“We’ll see about that.”
My husband and I’d been up since three in the morning to catch three different planes which would eventually land us back into the arms of our three waiting children. And they’d been waiting more than a couple of weeks for our return from the mission field.
But as God had arranged it, our second flight was delayed at take-off—delayed by more than an hour—and the likelihood of us making our last connection had nothing to do with the concept of being “likely” at all.
Confessions of a Money Changer
What would Jesus say about our cashing in on women's ministry?
While visiting a very close friend, I agreed to help with her church’s women’s ministry event. I expected to prepare hospitality tables, fill vases with flowers and serve coffee and muffins. It’s what we often do in women’s ministry.
Instead, I was directed to the makeshift market that had been set up in the lobby. Eight-foot long, cloth-covered tables were fashioned into a large rectangle. The speaker’s collection of books, teachings, recordings and—most surprisingly—jewelry covered every inch of the tables. Eight volunteers, myself included, would sell the speaker’s wares after her talk.
The speaker shared her incredible testimony in a two-hour service. Her story was heartbreaking; she had endured abuse, depression, cancer and the loss of a child. She led us through worship and gave an altar call. Over 50 women made their way to the front and stood—with raised hands and tear-stained faces—for a half hour as she encouraged them and prayed over them.
By all appearances, it was a holy night. But despite the sacred nature of the service, the ladies poured out of the auditorium and immediately began to exercise the spiritual gift of shopping. The seven volunteers and I were absolutely slammed (and I think stunned) by the crowd.
Putting Complainers to Work
I am a firm believer in open-book management—the practice of openly communicating financial details broadly across organizations. When I took over an intact department, I sought help in establishing a good approach to open-book management from a good friend and expert in the topic, Chuck Kremer. Chuck recommended an approach for sharing success stories, setting goals, and tracking actions along with in-depth review of the financial statements. These steps consumed nearly an hour a month—taking over the agenda for one of our weekly meetings. But I was dedicated to the approach and was seeing many benefits.
About six months into the process, I sought feedback and was surprised at what I heard. Although they saw value in the process, several people expressed it took too long and involved too many steps. When I took a poll, others agreed. So I asked those most vocal to take on a project to improve the process. I gave the team a few boundaries and sent them off. The results were wonderful. The process was streamlined and allowed for other topics during those staff meetings. Also, the team had gathered broad input across the department, so everyone was committed to the new process, and we gained even more benefits.
The situation reminded me of this passage. Early in the building of the Christian church, shortly after Jesus’ resurrection and ascension, the people also had a complaint:
Life, Doctrine and Women's Ministry
Whether through books, Bible studies, retreats, or conferences, a central focus of women’s ministry has been on the practical dimensions of Christian living, either presupposing the theological understanding of the audience—which isn’t always wrong to do—or simply neglecting to ground the practical in a richer theological framework.
Of course, I’m not suggesting we aren’t teaching women Scripture, but in the rush to fill in the blanks, we aren’t teaching women to handle the Word as theologians. Some women’s ministry leaders have made statements that undermine the process of doing theology, suggesting that because knowing theology is not provisional for salvation that somehow it lacks practical value. We are good at teaching principles and precepts from the Word, but are we communicating interdependence between life and doctrine? Is there a place of theological education in the context of women’s ministry?
Journeys into Leadership
The other weekend I ran into a guy (literally) who had stopped short to turn around as we followed the masses out of a church sanctuary. “Sorry,” he said, looking disheartened and eying the crowd. “I was supposed to have a group following me.”
“No problem,” I laughed. “’Nobody behind me’ is the story of my life…..”
And it really is. I can’t tell you the number of times in my life as a leader, I’ve look around—amazed—that for once people actually sometimes follow me. Because it certainly wasn’t always the case.
Growing up, I was never the kid who always had some great thing going, the girl everyone looked to to start the fun. Instead, I was the sort to shyly suggest a game or activity and have everyone go, “Nah…. Let’s play this instead!” I wasn’t on student council in high school, and I was not the social go-to person. And in college, I sort of dug into my studies (and—okay—a bit of socializing) and didn’t lead anything.
The only inklings I had through much of my early life that I might have some sort of leader-like gifts were when I would write. Apparently, I always had a knack for “persuasive” writing—and was on more than one occasion deemed a “thought leader” by teachers and professors. Not bad, but certainly not the same as a leader leader. At least not in my mind.
Women: Mission Critical
Each of us wants to believe that we matter. That we have something to offer. That our contributions to building God’s kingdom are needed and valuable.
But as I travel the world speaking to women in ministry, I have found a substantial obstacle to seeing that happen. One might think the biggest barrier would be convincing men that women are needed for this assignment, but that’s not the most difficult challenge.
A greater challenge seems to be opening the eyes of women to see that we are mission critical. That the task of Kingdom building will not happen unless every daughter of God is prepared and equipped and given opportunity to make her best contribution to the mission at each season of her life.
Electronic Anonymity
Have you ever tried to navigate a sticky relationship via computer? Perhaps a disagreement with a friend or a dicey situation at work? You sit down, the desk chair creaks a bit, your fingers start flying. At first you type out of fear or with a good streak of indignation. The keys are clicking fast and hard. You stop, re-read it. Too harsh. Backspace, backspace, backspace. Start again.
Having this conversation face-to-face has definitely crossed your mind. Perhaps face-to-face is an impossible option due to time or distance. Or maybe it is simply easier not to have to look this particular person in the eyes. Either way, you find yourself in a moment of challenging communication. Two computer screens, cyberspace, and a chasm that opens you up to the vast canyons of misinterpretation standing between you and another person.
In our world of electronic anonymity, where screen names, nicknames, and protected passwords can hide our identities, disagreement and engagement that shows value for others and integrity has become increasingly hard to come by. Whether inside the church or out, behind the shield of a laptop we are engaging one another in new and increasingly painful ways.
Shepherd Lessons
In researching for Scouting the Divine: My Search for God in Wine, Wool, & Wild Honey, I spent time with a shepherdess named Lynne in Oregon. During my time in wet fields among the flock, I opened the Scriptures and asked Lynne how she read particularly passages not as a theologian but in light of taking care of her flock. Her answers changed the way I read and understand Scripture—bringing new depth and richness.
Yet some of the greatest lessons I learned simply came from being with Lynne and her sheep. One of which was simply hearing Lynne’s story of becoming a shepherd. Nearly twenty years ago, she purchased her first three sheep sight unseen. All of them were pregnant, and she had no idea what to do, yet she managed to figure it out. As the years passed, the flock naturally grew and she developed new skills along the way.
At one point Lynne said to me, “Margaret, it’s interesting being a shepherd, because a bunch of years go by and you end up being 65 years old and having a lot of young shepherds calling and asking, ‘What do I do?’ And you wake up one morning and realize you’re a shepherd of shepherds.”
Disarming for Jesus
I have a confession to make. I like pop music.
And not just the Miley Cyrus, High School Musical flavor. I like the beat thumping, chorus humming, and—dare I say it—booty-shaking kind. There it is. I am a woman in my early 30s, with three children and a minivan. I run a Christian counseling practice and a women’s ministry. People look to me for soul direction and depth, and in my spare time, I like to dance around and get low, low, low.
The best part? I think that’s OK with Jesus.
My senior pastor plays tennis on a team with my husband’s co-worker. Last week, the team finished a game and had some beers in a cooler. One of them offered my pastor a beer and (gasp!) he took it. Later, the co-worker told my husband that he cringed because his teammate must not have known he was offering a beer to a pastor. The co-worker reported. “Wow, I was surprised he had a beer with us. That’s cool.”
The door is open for my husband to invite his co-worker to our church, because he is disarmed—experiencing something that goes against his preconceived notions of Christianity. I think that’s OK with Jesus too.
Get Ready!
At a multi-generation women’s conference in Alaska where I was about to speak, an older woman leaned over and whispered in the ear of the young girl sitting next to her, “Get ready!”
The young girl’s eyes widened. “Why? Where are we going?”
The reply? “To the edge of your chair!”
No one ever whispered those words in my ear, but several years ago, quite unexpectedly I found myself on the edge of my chair too. I was listening to an academic lecture on the Old Testament Book of Ruth. The need for a warning, in both cases, was warranted—not to brace us for a nail-biting cliffhanger, but to alert us that what we were about to hear would forever change how we view ourselves and our mission in this world. We were about to be called into the big story God is weaving, in a bigger way than we ever imagined.
For generations the church has tended to look at the women in the Bible through the wrong end of the telescope. Guided by the assumption that God does his most important kingdom work through men, we’ve seen women’s lives in a diminished perspective and, as a result, our own lives have appeared smaller too.
What Not to Wear--Part 2
I closed the book after the fourth chapter. I hugged my knees to my chest, rested my chin on my knees, and let out a long, heavy sigh. I sat, conflicted, on the oversized chair in our living room while my husband was upstairs asleep, my emotions fluctuating, oddly, between compassion and rage. If the battle really was ‘every man’s,’ then my husband was no exception, which, I concluded, left me with only two options. One (compassion): kneel—weeping—next to his bedside and beg God to deliver him from the temptations of a lust-provoking world; or two (rage): pick up the baseball bat (we keep one next to our bed) and start swinging. (Don’t worry. God was genius in his design of the human body to heal).
I’m kidding, of course, but this is the pendulum on which I swing when it comes to men, women, lust, and modesty—compassion for male hard-wiring that requires frustratingly painful diligence, and irritation that the latter is true. I share Tracey Bianchi’s conviction (part 1) that both sides have a part to play in working towards the common good. Men to do, well, whatever it is men do to keep their thought lives pure, and women to not carry ourselves in a way that leads a pastor to confess his roving eyes to an applause-filled congregation. As a leader who strives to build up the body, I take my choices about what to wear seriously.
But I have to tell you, recently I was forced to pick up my modesty box and shake it, flip it, and bang it against the wall a few times. The jolt came in an email from a woman who had seen me speak to a mixed-gender crowd. Here’s what she said:
Fame's Folly
According to many in the media, last weekend is being dubbed the “weekend of outbursts.” An athlete, a lawmaker, and a musician—three distinct persons in the public eye—lost their cool. Each one of them felt injustice inflicted on themselves or another. And they made their feelings known … to everyone.
Being in the public eye might have some perks, but the heat of scrutiny is not something I desire. When I have a meltdown—as we all do from time to time—it’s in the privacy of my own home. Nobody cares, except maybe my husband. But I do enjoy the freedom to have human moments and not feel the backlash of an entire nation wagging their tongues the next morning.
Why do these outbursts surprise us? When did we start assuming that celebrities are on a higher moral plane than the rest of us and won’t make petty mistakes?
Our Own Worst Enemy?
When I think of female rivalry, that is, rivalry between women, I think of Cinderella and her step-sisters. I think of the rivalry between Queen Elizabeth I and Mary Queen of Scots. I think of the escapades of the women on Wisteria Lane in Desperate Housewives. What I’ve rarely considered in recent years is how female rivalry impacts my growth and development as a woman leader.
In 1990, Carolyn Heilbrun, a Jewish American, wrote a provocative book entitled Reinventing Womanhood. In this book, she claimed that the number one reason women failed to achieve in leadership positions was not because men kept barring their way to progress in achievement, but rather because of the failure of women to bond. For Heilbrun, a few women inevitably rose to positions of power and leadership, but because of the failure of women to bond, these women became not woman leaders, but rather honorary men.
The Motivation Behind Your Ministry
“I don’t want to gain the whole world and lose my soul,” sang Toby Mac, Kirk Franklin and Mandisa from my boom box as I spent a week in the basement de-cluttering. His rap’s lyrics are a call to Christ followers to stay faithfully focused in our culture’s temptation to slowly defect. But goofy me, I had misheard the lyrics as, “I don’t want to change the whole world and lose my soul.” I perked up. My auditory failure turned out to be one more “ah-ha” in my recently awakened desire toward ministry leadership wholeness.
I tend toward being a 24/7 idea machine. I often feel desperate to connect others to church/world injustices. And I sort of half believe the phrase, “I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara I could save the world” (from curlygirldesign.com). But my tendencies were causing dis-ease, boundary-less focus and acid-reflux. And I painfully discovered my successes were feeding the needy areas of my heart.
Kyria: Chosen Women, Called to Influence
When a friend asked me recently what I knew about a certain ministry for children (that shall remain nameless), I sent back a scathing email about how much I hated it as a child. How ostracized I’d felt and how un-Jesus-y I found the whole thing to be, in hindsight. About five minutes later, however, I sent her back another email, apologizing. Because I realized after sending it that in my very cynical and strange walk of faith as a child, I never found a ministry that fit me—that ministered to who I was and what I liked to do. So, I told her, she probably she should ask someone else.
Fast forward to my life as a grown up: my view of many church ministries hasn’t changed much, frankly. I still find myself not fitting in to most places, I still feel like the misfit, and I still feel like I’m the only woman in the world who does not like crafts (though I know I’m not, since we’ve talked about this on this blog plenty before!). But it’s not only been in church ministries that I’ve felt this. So often, I’ve looked at the publications for Christian women and wondered who on earth they were for. What kind of woman reads (or watches) this? I’d ask.
Though every so often, something amazing happens: I come a resource that makes me say (to quote my 2-year-old), “Now we’re talkin’!” Which is what I thought when I first heard about GFL’s new sister site, KYRIA.
Continue reading "Kyria: Chosen Women, Called to Influence" »
No Doubt?
When do we stop being spiritual seekers? Certainly, through a faith commitment to Jesus, we move from the theological category “lost” to the category “found.” But does the seeking ever truly end? Should it?
I’ve often heard it said that Job was a hero because, though he suffered greatly, he never questioned God. Oh really? I wonder if people who say this have ever actually read some of the things Job said out of his anguish. Have they read his expressions of agony, his wrestling, his frustration, his sense that God was not even listening? The message of the book of Job certainly isn’t “never question God.” For me personally, one of the strongest messages of the book of Job and its inclusion in the canon of Scripture is the brutally honest acknowledgement that confusion—serious, painful confusion … and suffering … and questioning … and doubt … and inner turmoil—are part of the human experience. They are part of any human’s relationship with God. There are moments of confusion and darkness for all of us.
Yet there’s an implicit expectation in the church that Christian leaders are to be somehow immune to this. Pastors, missionaries, parachurch workers, Bible study leaders—they certainly never have doubts, right? And if, for some strange reason they did have doubts, they absolutely should never mention them to anyone.
I have noticed one exception to this general rule.
Spiritual Casualties of Gender Wars
Earlier this summer, in her excellent post “Weary of the Gender Wars,” Nancy Parkhurst Leafblad presents a compelling portrait of how she was unwillingly conscripted into a war not of her making when she followed God’s call into ministry. This article carries on from her ideas.
Nancy Parkhurst Leafblad describes how she found herself in a war she never wanted, because she is a woman with pastoral gifts working in the church. She is not alone. Women may enter vocational ministry well aware of spiritual warfare yet completely unaware of gender warfare until they are already in the thick of the battle. This certainly happened to me. From early on I had a strong theological bent and was delighted when I was able to enroll in the ThM degree program at Dallas Seminary in 1986, the first year they opened that program to women students. Comments about my presence there were usually easily deflected by the reply that I was training for work as an overseas missionary. Though I didn’t know it at the time, those conversations were the beginning of an ongoing pattern of defending my call to those who thought it should be for men only.
Unlike Nancy, however, my main battles have not been fought in the academy but in the trenches amid the realities of daily ministry. (For a few stories, see my earlier post, “How We Treat the Missionary Wife.”) The academy continues to debate, as she points out, but in my trenches the battle is mostly waged by silence. The question of women in ministry is rarely mentioned and is considered as settled: women belong in home-and-family-based ministry. In the countries and churches where I have served and in the organization that sent me, I have been one of the few voices speaking out in favor of seeing missionary women as vocational workers for God’s kingdom.
What Not to Wear
You are about to read a post about women and clothing. It probably cannot get more stereotypical, but before you cringe and click out of this window, I beg you to come along. This is about the community of God—not the power of the pedicure.
I once exchanged ideas with two male seminary classmates. Graduation was near, and as we chatted about the students moving into pastoral roles, we tossed out the name of a very talented female graduate. “I wonder what Sally will do?” I said. Sally was smart, savvy, and anointed in a powerful way. She was also gorgeous and turned the heads of many men (not something she tried to do).
My colleague said this, “Sally is phenomenal, but when she preaches few men will be thinking about God. If you know what I mean.”
“So, you saying she’s too pretty to preach?”
Displaying God's Splendor
I am a Texan through and through. It has for years been my dream to move back to Texas, but I’m pretty sure that will never happen.
So I decided to bring Texas to Florida—to my family room. I have acquired several genuine Texas items, including an old tin Texas flag, bluebonnet coasters, a wild horse sculpture, a lone star paperweight and many others.
But I needed a just right piece to go above our fireplace. I found it when I was in Galveston with my mother and sisters. On the wall of a fabulous art gallery was an awesome G. Harvey painting called “Turning the Lead.” It portrays a dark and stormy night; the moon is breaking through the clouds, reflecting in the puddles on the red dirt. Two weathered cowboys are attempting to turn the lead steer and thus stop the stampeding herd of longhorns.
I ordered a print, and when it came, I spent hours picking out just the right frame and matting for the picture and for our home. The mottled rust colored frame picked up the red dirt. The beige, suede matting provided lightness and texture. Both were perfect for displaying the beauty of the painting.
The Art of Rebinding
I recently had my Bible rebound. I’ve had it for more than a decade, and it’s literally travelled tens of thousands of miles with me—physically and spiritually. Its pages provided comfort during the long dark winters in Alaska, hope during times of transition when we returned to Colorado, and wisdom for various steps along the way. In the end, I spent a $123 to get the wrinkled pages of my Bible pressed, additional blank pages added to the back, five new ribbons, and a genuine leather covers that smells, well, like fresh cow skin. Yum.
But in all honesty, I was really paying for were the things money couldn’t buy: the years of notes, the prayer lists, the underlined and circled passages, the dates where particular scriptures were the most impactful. Those are the things money can’t bind. Priceless.
The whole process of having a book rebound is counterintuitive in our fast-paced, highly disposable world. Some have suggested that I should have just ordered a new Bible. From a fiscal perspective, they’re right. Most Bibles are a whole lot less expensive, and the process would have been quicker. But there’s something wonderful about that which is old, tried, and true. This whole book binding experienced has raised the question of what else should I be holding onto? What else should I try to restore?
Ministry in the Moment
Lately I’ve been struck at how full my life has become. Between family, friends, church, home and job as a hospital chaplain (complete with a pager that seems to go off when it’s least convenient), my calendar doesn’t have much white space. I am, in a word, busy. As a churchgoer, I’ve heard countless sermons on the dangers of being busy. But lately I’m beginning to think that maybe busyness is not the real problem. Instead, I’m moving towards identifying a different issue—a deeper one—that begs addressing. The issue of how I choose to respond to God, and others, in the midst of my busyness. In other words: Do I choose to remain available to love/serve others in those moments that are not planned, not scripted, or fail to fit neatly into my schedule?
As a woman who longs to lead as Jesus led, this question moves me to look at Jesus’ view of busyness. And as I read the Gospels, a shocking reality emerges: it doesn’t appear that Jesus had a problem with busyness. Just consider his life. Jesus was constantly on the move, traveling from town to town, engaging religious leaders, healing the sick, casting out demons, sitting with outcasts, mentoring disciples, teaching multitudes, etc. I am fairly confident that if Jesus had carried a Blackberry, or an iPhone, his calendar would have appeared full to overflowing, not to mention his email inbox. However, unlike most of us, he never allowed his busyness to trump his availability.
Women's Ministry: Time to Get Back to Basics?
With every opportunity to speak at women's ministry events, invariably the women of these churches never fail to surprise me with the many gifts and talents they have contributed to the preparations. Women's ministry teams seem to know almost innately how to pull everything together: food, décor, worship, organization and all of the other fine details that go into making a brunch, lunch or similar gathering quite memorable.
But the reality is, most church women's ministries only have the energy and "manpower" to offer these gatherings a few of times a year, In a calendar year, one can expect to plan for some sort of spring event, a Mother's day gathering--often mother/daughter affair - and a Christmas tea. This would be in addition to the small groups and Bible studies. Of course, some ministries may do more because the size of their church allows for more women to be involved. But because the average church size in the U.S. is around 200 with many far fewer, the ability to plan for these three events can become quite burdensome. I do not believe any of these events should be eliminated from the master plan of any women's ministry simply because they are laborious, because I also understand they have utility--glorifying God and ministry to women. This is worthy work toward the advancement of the Kingdom.
However, the flip side of the coin is the belief that every significant gathering must include ornate centerpieces, petit fours and elegant programs.
Continue reading "Women's Ministry: Time to Get Back to Basics?" »
Should Women Lead No Matter What?
In December of 1972 Helen Reddy's song "I Am Woman" grabbed the top spot on the Billboard charts. Fueled by the energy of the women's liberation movement, "I am woman, hear me roar," became a unifying slogan for a generation of women. Sometimes for good, sometimes for ill. Personally, I've been a devotee of Reddy's words for many years as I happen to be a self-confident, sometimes over-bearing sort of gal who believes God has gifted and called women to places of leadership in our culture. It also just so happens that I was also born in December of 1972.
Most women in ministry leadership will tell us that leading as a woman is an unspeakable blessing and phenomenally exhausting. Female leaders are held to both the traditional standards of job performance and to an unspoken second standard that involves gender. When people ask "can she lead," they often mean two things. First, "Is she qualified?" And second, "Should a woman lead here?" This skeptical second guess, based solely on gender, grates on the very fibers of my soul. It pushes up a voice from inside of me that wants to scream "injustice!" It makes me want to step in and roar.
Leading in the Lands of the Free
My seven-year-old son is on a freedom kick. Whenever we talk about a country (and this is often, since he and my five-year-old daughter are also on geography kicks), he'll ask: "Do they have freedom there?"
I love that he asks this. Because when the answer is "yes" it gives us an opportunity to talk about what cool things and amazing opportunities freedom allows people in whatever free country we're talking about. And when the answer is "not really" or "really limited" we talk about the injustices and oppression and the horrors lack of freedom brings about.
While this certainly isn't the most cheery mom-and-kid talk, I think these conversations are among the most important I have with my kids. I want them to grow up understanding how precious the freedom we enjoy in our country (which is, by the way, the U.S.) - how historically and geographically rare it is. I want them to understand it and appreciate it because I believe that the luxurious freedoms we enjoy falls under the "jurisdiction" of Jesus' words: "When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required" (Luke 12:48).
Weary of the Gender Wars
I grew up in the faith while "Onward Christian Soldiers" was still regularly sung at church. However, due to the Viet Nam War, it lost its appeal as we were bombarded with the images of war on the nightly news. I learned very quickly that war is costly: two members of my church youth group were killed within months of each other.
Then, through my reading of Scripture and the teaching I sat under, I came to understand that when I accepted Christ as my Savior, I entered a spiritual war against the forces of evil. I could expect persecution and rejection on many different levels. I accepted this as part of the cost of following the Lord Jesus. What I didn't know then, and would not come to understand until years later, was I also had been conscripted into a battle within the church that has now come to be known as the "Gender Wars," the women-in-ministry debate.
In the June 2008 issue of Christianity Today (GFL's sister publication), a pair of articles were published under the title, "Wounds of a Friend," one addressing complimentarians ; the other, egalitarians. Because I am in vocational ministry, these articles drew my attention---either because of a sadistic curiosity to see what's being said about women like me or an eternal hope that perhaps the discussion might change.
How to Take a Compliment
While checking my children into the nursery at church last week, an acquaintance of mine approached. "Susan, this is who I've been telling you about!" she exclaimed, pulling her friend behind her. She turned to me with a big smile. "I've been telling Susan all about you, how you're so good at speaking. You are the best teacher!"
I froze, not sure what to say. She continued, "I don't know how you do it all, with all you do at church, and your kids are so well-behaved and you are so thin!" I smiled and coughed out a "thanks." Inside, I was cringing. I knew she meant well, but I felt incredibly awkward. I ran through some of my possible responses:
Leaders Should Consider Twitter
Though it's been around for three years, Twitter hit the main stage of American culture when Oprah decided to write her first tweet. Though the site was excelling before the Oprah nod, more people are on Twitter today than ever before. So why should you consider signing up?
1. By Signing Up for Twitter, You Can Avoid the Blank Stares. In our modern age, there are some products, people, and Internet sites that everyone seems to know about. For example, most of us have heard of ShamWow and the Snuggie even if we don't own them. It's hard to check out from the grocery story without learning the latest about Brangelina (Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie) and more recently the sad news of Kate and Jon Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8. There are just some things that everyone knows about, so go ahead and add Twitter to your list. It will take you less than three minutes to open a free account and send your first tweet of 140 characters or fewer. That's right: You only get a sentence or two. Then, when someone asks you if you know about Twitter, you can offer more than a blank stare - you can give them give them a warm smile and an invitation to follow your tweets.
Wondering Why We're Sent
When I walk into a roomful of strangers, I engage in what is, at best, a self-imposed test in discernment; at worst a superficial gamble. I scan the women to whom I will be speaking and instinctually begin an imprecise version of memory, flipping cards in a lame attempt to match the earnestness of their smiles with the state of their souls. I do it with pretense, albeit pretense with an asterisk. Pretense: I want to know their stories. Asterisk: I want to know their stories to know if I'll hit my mark. I toss God a prayer: Okay, You sent me here, now show me why.
Then I wait.
But at a recent event, he didn't answer. Or so I thought.
Several of us were chatting easily over dinner, typical mom small talk - number of kids, gender, ages - when a card was flipped and the match was breathtakingly unexpected.
Leading Through Downsizing
I’m an old pro at downsizing. It’s true.
While the rest of the world has watched recent events with anxiety at the possibility of losing their job, I’m quite familiar with this life of uncertainty. A veteran of the textile industry for 15 years, I’ve spent the last five watching the companies I’ve worked and cared for slowly shrink into oblivion. It’s been difficult. It’s been unpleasant. But, it’s been a learning experience like no other.
As one of the few Christians in my workplace, I often found I took a special outlook on the situation that kept me calm and gave me the ability to calm the storm in others. Not that I didn’t get angry. I did. Not that I didn’t get unnerved. I did. But at the end of each round of layoffs or downsizing (and there were many), I was able to step away from the situation with a larger view than most. Even when I fell into the crosshairs, at the core I knew that I would be okay.
I found that being a leader during times such as these were a very different challenge than leadership needed during other times. The type of leadership that leans on Christ more than ever before. The kind of leadership that presents the opportunity to show the love of Christ to people who are desperately searching for something to hold onto. The kind of leadership for which you will one day be proud.
Sotomayor, Sexism, and the Supreme Court
When I was in sixth grade, a classmate told me that his dad told him that a woman could never be president because she'd "get all PMSy and probably ‘push the button' in one of her mood swings." This was in 1983, so that button she'd push was the "nuclear-war starting" button we all imagined on the big red phone next to the president's bed. I ended up hearing this argument more than one time in the course of my coming of age.
This was one of several comments I heard growing up that at once sickened and angered me - and definitely shaped the way I felt about women in leadership. Thanks to the truths my parents fed me, even at a young age, I recognized these comments to be sexist and ridiculous - and totally out of whack with how God equipped women and who God made women to be.
So throughout my life, I've cheered any time a glass ceiling has been shattered. Any time a woman has made it to where no woman made it before. When this happened in the political realm, I've cheered on and celebrated women on both sides of the aisle. Though I DO have a definite political preference and do not vote simply on gender, I still find myself rejoicing under the glass shards.
So I was ready to celebrate once again when I heard President Obama's nomination of Hon. Sonia Sotomayor as a Supreme Court justice. While she wouldn't be the first woman on the court, as the mother of a Latina, I'm always thrilled for new role models for my daughter (and sons) who share part of their Latin heritage.
Continue reading "Sotomayor, Sexism, and the Supreme Court" »
Who Do You Follow?
I don't often have a strong reaction one way or the other to people's Twitter updates - or "Tweets" - but this one from a friend of mine got me. He wrote: "Twitter is one of the few places where you need to be a good leader & follower at the same time - a unique dynamic."
Huh?
I thought about this throughout the rest of the day - because I couldn't disagree more. One of the few places? Totally unique? I have a hard time coming up with places where a good leader doesn't also have to be a good follower! I mean, how often do leaders lead at the top - in a vacuum - with no one or thing to follow? Old-world kings and new-world dictators come to mind. But even presidents and prime ministers have to follow something - the rule of law, a constitution, a code of ethics (we hope), the wisdom of advisors, perhaps the will of the people.
While good leaders certainly do need to be able to "take the reigns," "put down the hammer," or let "the buck stop" with them and while good leaders are often called to step out, go places, or do things on their own (or ahead of others), I think the best leaders are always good followers.
Sometimes We Do Get It Right
At Gifted for Leadership, we spend a lot of time griping about women's ministry. And I don't necessarily mean "griping" in a negative way - most of the discussions we have are constructive. We've simply been burned by the traditional systems and are looking for better ways to foster true discipleship and community in the lives of women beyond surface-level social gatherings. When we see healthy examples of these values, then, we figure we'd better share them with you.
I went on my church's women's retreat last weekend. I surprised myself by attending. I wasn't going to go, but my friend was leading worship and she asked me to come and sing with her, so I agreed. I don't know why I was so reluctant. I went through a mental checklist. Let's see? Do I love my church? Check. Do I love the women in my church? Check. Do I love retreats? Check. So, what was my problem?
Unearthing Potential
By the time I was in kindergarten, I knew I was different. Not only did I stand several inches shorter than my classmates, but at 4 years of age I was also a full year younger. It was risky for my parents to send me to school so early, but they made their decision based on the potential they (and others) saw in me.
As I reflect back on that decision now, I realize my parents were putting an important leadership principle into action - "a good leader must learn to unearth potential in others." Much like Jesus saw potential in a common fisherman, a ruthless tax collector and a self-righteous Pharisee; we too must learn to look beneath the surface of what ?is' and help people explore - unearth - what could be.
Grooming Leaders
"And then," the student continued, "The professor interrupted me in the middle of my presentation. He totally didn't take me seriously." My colleague and I looked at each other.
"He might . . ." I paused and began again. "You . . ." I looked at her, wrangled my courage and spit it out. "I wonder if your outfit was subliminally causing him not . . . um . . . to take your presentation seriously." She looked at me, surprised.
"You do look a little like you're going to a party," my colleague commiserated, nodding at the large flower in her hair.
"And it's cute," I said, "But inappropriate for a presentation."
Aspiring leaders long to be taken seriously. Sometimes - in some circles - we can't do much to make this happen. But we can try.
Who's Afraid of Critical Women?
A few weeks ago, I got an email from a woman who had had reviewed my book on her blog. While she had mostly good things to say about it, she took issue with one of my first chapters (on the ways motherhood changes a woman). So, she graciously invited me to respond to her critiques.
So I went to her post, read the review, and starting mulling over my response to her. She had raised some good points, offered some valid arguments. And although she didn't sway me, she did make me think. So much so, that while I was still lost in my thoughts, I got another email from her. This time, she said she took down her post. And she apologized! She happened to be a frequent commenter on my Mommy Revolution blog and explained that she didn't "want to be divisive or create any controversy."
I didn't have to think long about how to respond to this!
The Final Church Barrier for Women: Church Planter
I just came back from the Exponential Conference, the nation's largest conference for church planters. I loved it. Nearly 2,700 church planters, apostles, cultural missionaries, entrepreneurs, and crazy people - the kind who take "It's never been done that way before" as a dare. My friend Dave Ferguson and a team help guide the conference, and he and his brother, Jon, are geniuses at creating life-giving cultures. Exponential is one: attenders focus on reaching people far from God, so they drop sectarian emphases and doctrinal disputes and come together for vision, teaching, prayer. Speakers and attenders represent Anglo, African-American, Asian, Latino and other cultures. Plenary sessions were led by pastors from India and Indonesia.
But where are the women?
Continue reading "The Final Church Barrier for Women: Church Planter" »
Creative Team Building
The NTSB official adamantly explained how the crew and passengers survived a near catastrophe in the incredible forced water landing of US Airways flight 1549 on the Hudson River in New York City back in January. The crew worked as a team, not as individuals - and that saved the lives of all 155 people aboard.
The message was clear: when individuals know how to work together as a team, it makes all the difference in the world.
The plus for women is that we to tend to move toward the team model intuitively, out of our instinctive desire for community. Let's look at characteristics of a team that can translate both to the workplace and ministry context:
The Devastating Power of a Church-Harpy
I knew a woman once who, with super-spy-like verbal finesse, single-handedly took down an entire church. Ka-pow! The congregation exists no more.
I knew another woman who waged a stealth war to get her church secretary fired. Before the campaign ended, the secretary quit, left the church, lost most of her friends, and entered into a deep depression.
Oh, and I knew another woman - a stately matron of the church - whose "helpful ideas" (i.e. biting critiques) so discouraged a new Christian eager to get involved in ministry that her sense of personal value will be devastated for years to come.
What did these three women have in common? They were women's ministry leaders.
Continue reading "The Devastating Power of a Church-Harpy" »
Measuring Success
It's all about the numbers. In my line of work - program consulting for Christian nonprofits - the trends and buzzwords center on end-result statistics. Assessments, evaluations, outcome measurements - all tracking impact to determine whether a ministry's achieving its goals and making a difference. Donors care about this increasingly, requiring accountability for the funds they're giving.
It's a good trend in the nonprofit arena, but how helpful is it in our own daily lives? Because it seems to me that the average American life is also becoming pretty measurement-focused. Examples: How many followers do I have for my blog? How many comments or pingbacks did a given post elicit? How many friends do I have on Facebook? What's the ?average reader rating' for that online article I wrote? How many emails, texts, voicemails did I receive today?
The technology that now structures so much of our lives is forever counting, tracking relentlessly. And we who keep up with the digitized world tend to use the numbers as a means of gauging our day-to-day lives. They're external markers - data, if you will - by which we measure the impact we're making on other people. If we're doing anything valuable; if people care.
Dream Poppers
We sat in the intimate living room with friends and family.
"I've been asked to join the Proverbs 31 Ministry speaking team," I said with excitement.
Proverbs 31 Ministries is a strong group of women who support, encourage, and mentor faith-filled women who write and speak. It was not only an opportunity to pursue my passion of mentoring, but I was tired of flying solo. I longed for the accountability and friendship that come from working with others who share the same dreams. I shared the benefits, and then mentioned that travel might increase by one weekend a month.
"You don't like your husband very much, do you?" one woman asked.
She was dead serious.
Emerging into Leadership
Over and over again in my conversations with women in the emerging church movement, I hear the story of women awakening to themselves. They realize that as women they too are created in the image of God and so in theory can serve their creator faithfully in whatever way they are called. Intellectually, they understand this. They want to engage theology, attend conferences, interact online, and visit discussion groups. They want to have a say in the direction of the emerging conversation and lend their particular understandings to shape the movement. They see in this emerging moment in time an opportunity for them to be fully alive as women, to grow their faith in new ways, and to be truly respected in the church. But at the same time they have difficulty actually doing those things.
The problem isn't so much women being told that they can't participate or lead, although there are churches in the emerging movement that still set limits on women, for the most part women are fully affirmed. The men in the conversations wish there were more women contributing their voices and stepping up into leadership. But while such stepping up might seem perfectly natural to these men, I've encountered numerous women who feel they just can't do that. Even if they believe they can be leaders, the message that the church and their culture has imparted to them over the years is that nice Christian women just don't do things like that. They don't assert themselves. They don't impose themselves on others. They don't show up where they haven't been invited. They don't make a scene.
Live from Synergy 2009--Day 3
Well, Synergy 2009 is officially over, and we have to say we?re overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the life-changing messages we heard this weekend, with the blessing of being surrounded by so many gifted women leaders, by the incredible calling God has placed on his people, and by the tremendous potential of what women can accomplish in responding to that calling.
Wow. So how do we summarize the experience? Well, maybe it will help to share a few of our favorite quotes from the plenary speakers at this year?s event:
On relationships between men and women: "What do people think about God
when they see how we relate to one another?" —Carolyn Custis James
On using gifts: "When women are not using gifts to the fullest extent, the
Kingdom of God suffers." —Alice Matthews
Live from Synergy 2009--Day 2
Live from Synergy 2009
Here we are at Synergy 2009, and as in previous years, this promises to be a weekend of rich encouragement, challenge, and connection. This year's theme is "The Blessed Alliance," focused on the healthy, productive, God-ordained partnership relationships between men and women in his service. What a refreshing conversation!
In this evening's opening plenary session, we heard from featured speaker Dr. Alice Palmer Mathews. She discussed the biblical basis for the Blessed Alliance and challenged us to see partnership with our Christian brothers as a biblical mandate, necessary for body of Christ to function as it should.
"Coming to Know" in the ER
Today a 29-year-old woman came into the Emergency Room.
When I am not moving loads of laundry from the washer to the dryer, playing taxi driver to my seventh-, fourth-, and first-grade children, or making another meal, I work as a part-time chaplain at a nearby hospital. In the hospital setting, pastoral care is diagnostic. We are trained to understand a patient's spiritual needs with a definite, clinical assessment.
This shift I met "Sarah" from Rwanda. Her parents were killed when she was 13. She lived in a refugee camp after that. She married while living in the refugee camp. Her husband was good to her for the first year of their marriage and then he started drinking. She has spent the last 12 years of her marriage being beat up, strangled, and kicked.
Does 'Complementarian' Equal Anemic Women's Ministry?
In 2007, Amy Simpson wrote "Why I Don't Do Women's Ministry," citing the reasons for her struggle to fit in an essentially shallow church culture. She may have surprised a few readers, but clearly she spoke the heart of a silent, yet critical mass of women in the church.
These are women who want to fulfill the Titus 2 mandate, to mentor and minister to other women, who want to play a significant role in Christian education, but also want to escape the culture of women's ministry that they inherited from their grandmothers. They want a more substantive interaction with the women they lead, because they know that time is a priceless commodity and they want to make the most out of every opportunity. They are tired of women's ministry being the equivalent of event planning, and they want their "relationship with Jesus" to be more than an inner-circle catchphrase that accompanies the obligatory secret hug (because secret handshakes don't exist in women's ministry).
For these women, community encompasses more than fellowship around a meal or taking care of each other in a time of crisis. They want to know Jesus through the Scriptures in the deepest possible way, and they want the tools to do it. They want to think "Christianly" about every area of life, proactively thinking about how to contend with the issues women face instead of reacting to them when they surface.
Continue reading "Does 'Complementarian' Equal Anemic Women's Ministry?" »
Going Where God Wants You to Go
My grandsons, Carter and Aidan, are growing up in their young years with a surprising truth: Grandmothers drive red convertibles. Really - both of their grandmothers drive red convertibles. Mine is an awesome Mustang, and the other grandma drives a red VW bug convertible.
So why a red convertible? I've had several people ask me, "Aren't you a little old for a mid-life crisis?" But this isn't a crisis at all. It is a statement about the future. Over the years I have driven sedans, stations wagons, vans - all big and rarely a color I would prefer. Now my kids are grown and I don't have to be sensible in my car size. I love red and I love sporty and I love wind in my hair.
But my car reflects a much more important message to me. So often when women - mothers - finish their primary parenting responsibilities (we know they don't really end), and their bodies begin to betray them some, they think it is time to relax, take it easy, put their feet up. I think the opposite is true: It is time to put on my running shoes (or hop in my Mustang) and see where God wants me to go.
Bible Study and the City
One particularly summery evening last May, I headed to downtown Dallas. For me the road from my sedate suburbia to downtown entailed much more than thirty minutes of my time. It was a trip into another culture where beautiful, successful 20-somethings live, work, and love to party. Even though my well-worn NIV Study Bible sat on the seat next to me, my mind was far from memory verses or prayers. I stared down at my jeans murmuring to myself, "What were you thinking when you purchased these matronly things?" Then my eyes moved to the rearview mirror and I sat aghast at the face of a 50-year-old woman looking every wrinkle of the journey. Lastly, with a tightening in my chest I screamed, "Why did you ever agree to meet with a bunch of skinny, tan, unwrinkled 20-year-old women?"
Here's the story behind my frenzy: My 24-year-old son, Matt, dates Jill. Through their college years and now as young professionals working in Dallas, I have gotten to know Jill and her girlfriends at barbecues and birthdays. They have a close relationship, and together they adore Oprah, volunteer in the community, watch The Bachelor and have a monthly book/dinner club. Yet while most of these bright young women are Christians, most are not a part of a church family. Wondering how I might help them connect spiritually, last May I emailed Jill to see if she and her "girls" (as Matt refers to them) might be interested in meeting for a casual summer Bible study. I did not hear back for a few days, but then my inbox was flooded with unanimous reply-to-all "I'm in!" responses. We set a date. And now I found myself wending my way to our first meeting.
The Rested Leader---Part II
In part I of this conversation, I mentioned Jim Loehr. He was a performance psychologist who evaluated top-ranked tennis players in an effort to determine what made those who held the highest world rankings better than their lower-ranked competitors. What did they do as they played tennis that made them superior players in a highly competitive sport?
Loehr discovered that the strokes and techniques of all the players were infuriatingly similar. But eventually, he noticed that the difference lay in what the players did between points. Top performers, Loehr discovered, knew when to work hard and when to rest. Their strength lay not in the perfection of their strokes or their level of effort, but rather, in their ability to recover. The top tennis players, Loehr discovered, found rituals (the way they walked, breathing patterns, self-talk) that actually lowered their heart beat, calming them, and, in effect, allowing them to rest both physically and mentally between points. And the rest and recovery, even in the thirty to ninety seconds between points in a tennis game, is what made all the difference.
Supporting the Surge
As I glanced over the last Dallas Theological Seminary (DTS) alumni newsletter, my eye caught the announcement that the seminary had reached a significant milestone: 1,500 female alumni on their roster. As one of the first women to set foot on the DTS campus as a student, I admit my heart skipped a beat when I saw that number. The fact that DTS was celebrating this was even more satisfying.
Rock on DTS!
Here are more encouraging statistics: The latest Association of Theological Seminaries study (2007-08) reported 34% of seminary students are women. Interestingly enough, the same report indicates a significant rise in the numbers of women students between the ages of 40-64 - underscoring the happy notion that it's never too late to get started! Furthermore, women now comprise 23% of fulltime seminary faculty.
This growing trend is one of the biggest success stories of the modern church, and we should be making a lot of noise about it. I know there are still some who question (or flat out oppose) the decision to offer theological education to women and still some seminaries that refuse to admit them. Opinions divide over how far women can go with their theological training and whether or not seminaries are capitulating to the culture (and more specifically to feminist influence) by opening their doors to women. But there is strong biblical warrant for what is happening.
Continuing Our Journey
All of us at Gifted for Leadership are so grateful so many of you participated in our Devotional Journey! We hope it's been a great one for you.
I hope you've been as encouraged and challenged and as blessed as I was. One of my favorite things about this journey was that we took it together - in community, even if it was virtual. I loved that we got to share our stories and insights together. This community and togetherness is really what drives the Gifted for Leadership team.
Our desire is to provide a place for Christian women in leadership to voice their frustrations and triumphs as well as to find encouragement and resources to help you in your leadership. Those resources include this blog as well as other downloadable resources. We WISH we could offer them all for free as we did with this devotional, but as a not-for-profit ministry, we rely on the sales of these downloads to support our ministry (and since most downloads are $9.95 and you can make copies for up to 1,000 people, this is quite a bargain!).
Catch-Phrase Christians
Here's my up-front disclaimer: I'm not fond of Christian jokes and one-liners. I might be a terrible stick-in-the-mud, but when I pass a church marquee sign posting a "Christian" message, I wince. Although I fight the urge, I read it. And sometimes I need to seek God's forgiveness for the thoughts that enter my mind after my car has passed by.
I live in a small town where church marquee signs are prevalent. Before Election Day, one sign read, "To find God, turn right and go straight." A left-leaning friend was outraged by what she believed was a political message. Granted, the church was located on the right side of the road, but I wondered if the pastor realized that, if drivers decided to "go straight," they would eventually end up at the Davison Bacon & Sausage Works down the road. (Can God really be found between tubes of hanging salami?)
Another local church sign once read, "If God gave you the same priority you give Him, would you be saved?" My instinctive response was a low growl. I wasn't being convicted by the Holy Spirit; I simply have an adverse reaction to being smacked in the head while traveling down Main Street. It doesn't seem to reflect our Savior's style.
Creative Acts of Obedience
Serene Madonna? I don't think so
Mary, the mother of Jesus, is usually painted looking so serene, but I have to wonder if that was always the expression on her face. The advent season is all about her story, as the young virgin honored to be selected to bear the Messiah. She didn't seem to struggle too much with her yes, but did she have any idea what would be coming next?
This past spring I was in Israel driving by bus from Nazareth to Bethlehem, thinking, "This would not be fun, on a donkey - in your third trimester! Besides the inconvenient travel, she encountered a fiance who wanted to break it off, a village abuzz with gossip, and a less than optimal delivery location. And that was just in the first nine months of the story.
God calls each of us to creative acts of obedience throughout our lives.
Hands On Leadership
As I write, I'm delightfully basted in the scent of lemon grass oil; I just got a massage. I've only ever had one other massage in my life, so this is a fairly memorable occasion. I'm thankful for the kind woman who spent an hour of her time trying to talk some relaxation into these stubborn, over-tightened muscles of mine.
Actually, I'm a little more than thankful. I'm downright...perplexed. I guess I'm not sure what drives a person to want to be a masseuse. I'd always thought of it as "glam"--even the word sounds cool. But after the workout this woman just went through, I'm sure I was wrong. It was more than her willingness to expend energy that got me. What I'm really wondering is: What drives a person to be willling to touch someone else?
Developing a Vision When You're Not a Visionary
Solve some problem right in front of you. Often vision is born by passing through the narrow and dark birth canal of problems. You see the problem, and you start to work on it. You don't necessarily feel inspired or see lights. All you are doing is trying to solve some problem right in front of you. But later, everyone else says, "What a great vision!"
Continue reading "Developing a Vision When You're Not a Visionary" »
Tra La La....Blah
Christmas is coming! The presents wrapped in fun and funky paper. The family. The homemade sugar cookies and sledding in three-feet snow. The break from school and pop quizzes! Sounds nice, doesn’t it? But did you know that the holidays are a difficult time for lots of teens? Dr. David Lowenstein, a psychologist, says that as many as one person in four battles the holiday blues this time of year.
Depression and Christmas?
It doesn’t seem like a good fit, but makes sense if dad or mom is out of the picture. It’s a bummer when the only Christmas wish is for everybody to get along, and it doesn’t happen, or if money is tight and the parents are stressing. If a student is dealing with the holiday blues, they might not understand the hype. Christmas becomes something to endure rather than a celebration.
If you work with teens or families with teens, how can you help as the holidays approach?
Finding Safe Women
I used to equate "women's ministry" with things like secret pals and salad suppers. Problem is I'm a horrible secret pal because I tend to forget birthdays and anniversaries. And I'm sorry, but I like warm food.
At one particularly memorable Christmas tea, which featured a desert reception, I nervously stuffed an entire chocolate-covered strawberry into my mouth in one bite. Who does that?! The other ladies at my table giggled nervously as strawberry-chocolate juice oozed from my lips.
As a young woman trying to balance a demanding career and a growing family, I'm lucky to find time to shave my legs, much less to carve out three hours to make chit-chat with people who are apparently way better at this "lady" thing than I am. I spent years wishing I could skip the women's events and just go do fun stuff with the men's groups. I just wanted feel safe being myself but the fellowship halls of my past were filled with women who didn't get me.
Confrontation: Fight or Flight?
Confrontation - always difficult, often necessary. And something that many of us do badly or not at all. We tend to default toward one of two paths; either we run from it or we find ourselves continually confronting everything: fight or flight. It doesn't take too long to realize that both of these methods are more often than not ineffective.
FLIGHT: Are you one of those people who will do anything to avoid a face-to-face encounter when something difficult must be discussed? You're frustrated, boiling on the inside, but when the issue is raised, you smile and nod as though you're in total agreement. Then you walk away, irritated with yourself because you had the opportunity but you didn't say the things that needed to be said.
The Mixed-Gender Team
Humility is essential for mixed gender teams because pride is so destructive. Pride leads us to presume and prejudge one another. This in turn leads to issues of stereotyping, transference, and entitlement.
How many men and women feel offended by one another based on an unfair presumption? A man presumes, for instance, that a woman is against him - when really she is trying to help him. Or a woman presumes, for instance, that a man is avoiding her - when really he is busy with a task.
An Election-Day Letter from a Post-Church Refugee
Hi.
It's been a while since we've talked, so I thought I'd drop you a line to catch up. Today has been exciting - a big turn out at the polling places and precincts. So much energy in the air, I almost felt as if I was connected to something living and fantastic! Even in my discontent, I think I can join with you to say "thank God for the gift of democracy!"
That leads me to a big part of why I'm writing. I'm a little discouraged these days hearing from others that you may think I'm in a faith crisis because of my politics? That I've fallen away from what is true? Or more painful yet, that I've lost my love for God? Perhaps they're just rumors, so I wanted to clear the air. There's enough that you and I are working through together to let this get in the way.
I guess you've been on my mind a bit lately because this whole election craziness has dredged up some issues that reminded me of our old times together - and also some of what ultimately pulled us apart.
Continue reading "An Election-Day Letter from a Post-Church Refugee" »
How We Treat the "Missionary Wife"
"Speak," I said, as I picked up the phone. No, I wasn't talking to the dog or being rude. That's just the way you answer the phone in Spanish. "Is your Lord and Master there?" asked the cultured voice on the other end of the wire. I froze.
I recognized the voice. It belonged to one of the elders of our church. I wondered whether he was serious or joking, but given the openly chauvinistic culture, I figured he could actually mean what he said fairly literally. After quite a few years working in that country, I had come to understand that women are primarily valued for their physical and domestic service to men. Oh, and their looks.
This kind of world view can be one of the biggest aspects of culture shock to an educated, gifted woman serving overseas. Shopping on a daily basis, not having a dryer, learning to speak another language: all these challenges we can meet. But dealing with open, blatant chauvinism from the society and the local church can be really draining.
The Woman Who Got It Right
Editor's note: Dr. Sue Edwards is one of the amazing women we met at Gifted for Leadership's Synergy conference last year. Hope to meet you there this March!
I'm one of three full time women on the faculty at Dallas Theological Seminary and during our weekly faculty meeting, I sometimes struggle to find my voice. I want to be like the woman in Mark 7:24-30 who found middle ground between silence and aggression. Her little daughter needed healing, and even though she was a Gentile, she was not afraid to tell Jesus exactly what she needed.
Jesus traveled to Tyre and did not want anyone to know he was there; yet he could not keep his presence secret. In fact, as soon as she heard about him, she fell at his feet, begging him to heal her child (Mark 7:24?26). However, he was not there to minister publicly but to secure private time to instruct his disciples - so he denied her request. Perhaps Jesus did not appreciate the interruption.
In ministry, we often find we must go to male leaders for what we need. For a variety of reasons, sometimes these men are not receptive. Back in the nineties, I served as volunteer director of women's ministries in a megachurch. I was at the mercy of the male pastors for resources. But I had not yet found my voice, so during the few meetings with the senior pastor, I clammed up and did not express my needs well.
Workaholic Faith
When I became a Christian, I knew I'd found my life purpose. I wanted to serve God with my last ounce of strength. I read Christian biographies voraciously and latched onto any report of modern-day Christians who were giving their all to Christ and his kingdom. I often felt that my life was too easy - that I never suffered for Christ as some people did, which to my way of thinking made me an inferior Christian. What this translated into for my life was that I said yes to everything anyone asked me to do and constantly looked for challenging people and situations to be involved with.
What this eventually led to (it took about 20 years - I'm tough) was burnout. I over-extended myself in almost every area of my life. In my false idea that only doing the hard things would please God, I worked part-time for a Christian organization, volunteered for three different organizations, and mothered three children. I wanted to do all of this perfectly, better than anyone had ever done any of them before. I also looked for practical needs all the time that I could meet. During this time, I remember telling the women in my small group that I always worry that I'm not doing enough to serve God. They looked at me shocked and said, "You worry about not doing enough?" I could tell by their expressions that I'd just put them all under the pile, but I stuck to my conviction (that I truly felt) that I wasn't doing enough.
How Do I Uncover My Spiritual Gifts?
Notice the things that energize you and seem to come naturally. Remember the quote from the movie Chariots of Fire when Eric Liddell explained to his sister why he was postponing his return to the mission field in order to race in the Olympics? "Because when I run, I feel the pleasure of God."
What Love’s Got to Do with It
There's a woman across from me on a wooden bench describing her life as a member of a rural agricultural cooperative in northwestern Haiti. It's hot so we're sitting in the shade of an old Brazilian military tarp that has been strung up between two trees. I'm in northwestern Haiti as a photojournalist for Church World Service, to document the stories of men and women who support each other through low interest loans. She's speaking Creole, so I'm not catching everything she's saying, but I'm careful to make eye contact, nod, scribble notes, adjust my tape recorder, and glance at my translator every once in awhile.
The truth is, I'm not fully paying attention. Instead, I'm fully engaged in a daydream about a man that I've recently fallen in love with. As the woman explains the way that her life was changed by a loan of $50 that allowed her to purchase a donkey, I'm recalling the conversation he and I had on a balcony with the sun setting over Port-au-Prince where his vulnerable confessions of affection melted into my relief. She continues to describe the distance she and her donkey travel every day to carry goods to the market. I'm on the back of his motorcycle on our way to buy dinner from our favorite street vendor. And so the interview continues.
My work in Haiti took a drastic turn when I found myself in a relationship that had a sincerity and gravitational force that made any previous interests seem like planks on a bridge I was now crossing.
Leading Like Life is On the Line
One of my favorite recent reads, Amy Krouse Rosenthal's Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life starts this way: "I have not survived against all odds. I have not lived to tell. ?" What's not to love about a book that starts this way? I have to tell you, my life feels like Amy's. While I may certainly have survived against some odds I never knew of or lived to tell because of some intervention by my guardian angel, in reality I'm no survivor either. My life has been fairly "ordinary," and I think I lead that way.
I mean, the "risks" I take are rarely real risks. Failure or messing up in most of my leadership arenas doesn't put anyone's life on the line or anything. More often than not, dollars and cents are on that line. And it shows in the way I lead.
I never gave this any thought until I started watching the changes in my friend Kim. Last spring, at 36 years old, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Over the summer, she's endured surgery, daily radiation, and is now on medicine that "promises" to keep cancer at bay.
Now she is a survivor!
When a Pastor Becomes a Predator
How would you respond to sexual misconduct at church?
One day more than a decade ago, the senior pastor of my church stopped by my house unannounced. I had just had a baby, so I presumed his visit was pastorally motivated, although I was a little thrown off by his sudden appearance at my door. I invited him in, and we made small talk for a while. My baby began to fuss and it soon became apparent that he needed to nurse. My pastor didn't take his cue and offer to leave, so after several tense moments of trying to soothe my son without whipping out my breast to feed him, I told my pastor that we'd need to continue our conversation some other time. He finally left.
I didn't think too much of this incident—at least not until he showed up a second time uninvited. Thankfully, I was running out the door, and I told him I couldn't visit right then. As I drove away from my house, I had a sick feeling in my stomach, like something wasn't quite right. Why would my pastor drop by without calling first? And why me? We weren't that closely connected through the church. Why would he stop by my house to pay a visit? Don't people usually call first?
Recovering the Blessed Alliance
"It's awkward and uncomfortable - like a three-legged race. I'll have to learn to walk all over again."
I nearly fell out of my chair! Frank managed an uneasy smile. We were drinking coffee with a young friend who, in an unguarded moment, was talking with disturbing pessimism about his impending marriage. Neither Frank nor I thought of marriage as a three-legged race. For us it was more like a sprint. Astonishment turned to sadness over this young man's dismally low expectations of what a male/female relationship might promise.
Happily, not every prospective groom shares this gloomy perspective. However, his attitude points to a reality that not only characterizes a lot of Christian marriages, it spills over into working relationships between women and men in other venues. Even in Christian circles - even on ministry leadership teams - we joke uneasily about the "battle of the sexes" because, truth be told, even here relationships between the sexes can be as awkward and cumbersome as a three-legged race - or worse.
Whatever happened to the sure-footed alliance the Bible envisions?
When Women Lead Like Women
The vice-presidential nomination of Sarah Palin has led to all kinds of interesting conversations in the media. And while many of those conversations raise plenty of pertinent questions, I've been struck by the underlying assumptions about what makes a person a qualified leader.
Granted, "qualified" takes on a whole new kind of weight when we're talking about the presidency (or vice-presidency in Palin's case) but even as these conversations trickle down into bus stop chats and water cooler debates, the operating understanding of leadership has a distinctly male bent to it. We want to know if Palin is decisive. If she's tough. If she can battle corruption and stand up to our enemies. We assume that these are all givens when it comes to making someone a leader. But are they the only qualities that count?
Those of us who have been in leadership positions for more than a half an hour know that the biggest challenge is often proving that we can lead like men, that we can be decisive and tough and wage battle for the sake of our cause.
Is She Driving You Crazy?
I know about those "work" friendships.
Jan and I started chatting on the phone several years ago when our sons became good friends. Jan is caring and funny, and I enjoy our time together. But she started popping in several times a week. When she came to visit, she clearly expected me to drop everything and play hostess. Even the days she didn't drop by, she called - sometimes several times. "Just one more thing ? " she'd say. Then an hour later, my errands would still be undone and dinner would be late - again.
Sexual Misconduct at Church
A new study of self-described "active Christian women" shows more than a quarter personally experienced sexually inappropriate behavior, and one fourth of those that experienced it said it happened in a church or ministry setting. The survey, based on answers given last fall by 779 American women to NationalChristianPoll.com, was designed to capture the range and extent to which women encounter unwelcome, gender-based behaviors by their male counterparts, either in the workplace or within a church or ministry setting. Commonly reported inappropriate behaviors include sexual advances, touching or sexual contact, suggestive jokes, glances with sexual overtones, and demeaning comments.
Bold Forgiveness
The last place we expect to get hurt is within the family of God. We assume church people are safe people. But, hurt comes with church leadership. When it happens, the wounds it brings can quickly become a breeding ground for bitterness.
Bitterness can become a gnarly vine that chokes our souls. It poisons our hearts and actions. Scripture says we and others will pay a great price if it is left unchecked (Hebrews 12:15).
What's a Christian to do? When we are wronged, justice demands that someone pay for the wrong. We know that the Lord wants us to forgive. But how can we handle the tension between justice and forgiveness?
"God, Rock The Summit"
This year's roster at Willow Creek's Leadership Summit conference includes an impressive lineup of leaders from both the ministry and secular business realms. Pastors John Burke and Efrem Smith, and Bill George (current Harvard Business prof and former CEO of Medtronic Inc.) spoke yesterday, as (of course) did Bill Hybels. Today we heard from Craig Groeschel and Chuck Colson, and later from Brad Anderson, vice-chairman and CEO of Best Buy. But for my money, the two most challenging and inspiring presenters were relative unknowns--two women who lead small but incalculably influential organizations.
Ethnic Blends
When a position becomes available in most churches, leaders tend to contact those they know and trust for names of those they'd recommend for the job. The people we contact and those they recommend are, more often than not, people just like us in ethnic, economic, and educational background.
Surprised by the 'Old Guard'
As the daughter of academics I was encouraged to be a free-thinker, especially when it came to God. My parents were not afraid of questions because their faith was so strong in the One who gives answers. Yet I lived (and still do) a paradoxical life: A home life of free-thinking and free-discussion amongst a community of "don't rock the boaters" - the Old Guard of evangelical tradition.
Amidst the Old Guard of evangelicalism, when I came out of Wheaton College in 1992, there was a group who left appreciating our evangelical roots, and willing to think bigger. One of my friends became the religious editor for the Chicago Sun Times. Another friend founded a church. It grew to over 10,000 people assembling each Sunday in less than a year - and is still going strong. This friend also started a not-for-profit, making short films with this ?new' take on Christianity. As a woman with leadership skills and a call to ministry this new direction for evangelicalism was very exciting.
Food for Thought
There is a difference between being peaceful and being a peacemaker. A fellow pastor told me about an elected church leader who refuses to become involved with anything controversial. This leader is a no-show on big issues and justifies his behavior as "a desire to be peaceful."
Being peaceful, however, is different from being a peacemaker, which we are all called to be.
Service Outside the Pew
I climbed on a bright green trolley and instantly heard calls of "Suz!"
Twenty-seven freshman girls were perched in the seats, waving. The driver put the trolley in gear. And off we went.
We traveled to a refurbished theater from the 1950s and watched an independent film. Then we hopped back on the trolley and traveled to the Music Hall of Fame. The students went wild when they realized their entertainment was area musician Colton Swon, one of the Top 50 in this season's American Idol. Next we traveled to WISH, a safe home for battered woman where we ate lunch and discussed statistics and where to find help if you are a victim of dating abuse. Our last stop was at The Castle, a local Renaissance Fair building complete with history, knights, kings, and queens.
It was a special day as a community mentor with a local high school.
What does this have to do with ministry?
Food for Thought
Even the most dedicated people often shy from being called into "leadership." So instead, when one of our current leaders (we like to call them "servants" or "coaches") sees someone passionate about a ministry, he or she approaches that person with an invitation:
"Beverly, I've watched you get passionate about God's purposes. And I've seen you display gifts of caring and evangelism. I'd like to invite you to serve with me on this missions project."
The Wow Factor
Over the years, I've discovered that the best haircuts aren't a matter of what I think when I stand up from the stylist's chair, but the feedback I get from friends (and even strangers) after I walk out of the salon. Comments like "Great haircut!" and "Love the look!" signify that that the hairstylist knocked it out of the park. Whereas questions like, "Was that the look you were going for?" and "Wow - did you want it that blonde?" leave me wondering what just happened. I want to have the wow factor when it comes to my hair - just not that kind of wow factor.
So what's this got to do with leadership? Bear with me, because just as I've been discovering secrets to increasing a healthy wow factor in my hairstyle, I've realized their application to leadership. Consider these wow factor hair tips:
The Little-by-Little Principle
Change is a constant in today's world, impacting our personal and professional lives. Change comes in all shapes and sizes: there are small adjustments that we need to make in what we are doing, then there are the more significant changes where we plot our course, thinking through what we will do and how we will do it.
And then there is transformational change: doing something we have never done before. This is the most challenging type of change because we may not even be able to reach out to others for experienced advice. Here is where I think God's principle of "little by little" applies. It can be both a comfort and helpful instruction to see us through the difficult process of change.
It was a season of transformational change where God revealed his little-by-little principle to the children of Israel. They had been delivered from slavery in Egypt and were now in the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land.
Drowning in the Fishbowl
I walked up to the red door with trepidation. Please God, don't let anyone recognize me today.
We had just moved, and I needed desperately to meet God on his turf. I needed a church. At the same time, I dreaded the people in a church. Dreaded the moment someone would ask what my name was and what I did. Even worse, I dreaded the people who would approach and tell me who I was and what I did.
I was working for a national ministry at the time, in a semi-public position. My name and picture were on the front pages of their magazines, and my byline showed up regularly. It wasn't much, but it was enough to make me recognizable to a certain subgroup of Christian women. Well-intentioned churchgoers would assume they knew more about me than they did. They'd ask me about my children (which I didn't have). Look around for my husband (he worked weekends while going to school full time, and so he wasn't with me). Make assumptions about my spiritual life, during a season when the holes in my faith resembled Swiss cheese.
Food for Thought
It seems like ministry today has been reduced to strategy and outcomes and production. And, frankly, that is what makes you famous - developing a new ministry strategy. If you can reproduce it and sell it, you can get a book deal.
Ministry to "the least of these" is about people, and it's messy. But there are godly people all over this country who have been loving people in the name of Jesus, and I think that's real ministry.
The Title I Didn't Ask For
I married a banker. I like to remind my banker-turned-pastor husband of this when we're having a particularly difficult time in the ministry. Although I wouldn't trade his occupation (some would say "calling"), my husband's career choice bestowed on me a title I never bargained for when we walked down the aisle.
I am a pastor's wife.
While I know plenty of women who are thrilled to bear this title, I've never worn it very well. I was always confused by the girls at the Christian college I attended who said they felt "called to become a pastor's wife." Since I grew up Catholic, I was astonished to learn that pastors were allowed to marry. More shocking to me, however, was the idea that God would call a woman to be a spouse of someone's occupation.
How do we treat the women (and men) who happen to be married to our pastors? Do we balance them precariously on high pedestals? Do we set impossible-to-live-up-to expectations for them to follow? Are we quick to criticize when they fail or act (gasp!) human? Will we take the time to get to know - really know - them?
Setting Ministry Boundaries
The biggest change Christ made in my life is a desire to serve others rather than myself. Before I became a Christian, it was all about me. Afterward, I was drawn to the weak and hurting and constantly looked for opportunities to minister. I took to heart Jesus' instruction that if I wanted to save my life, I had to lose it. This led me to full-time Christian work and helping to plant a church.
What I didn't know then, but am learning now, is that I simply cannot help some people. I'm sure that I understood this intellectually. I was aware of the joke: "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, if the light bulb wants to be changed," but I thought I would have a lot more success than most psychiatrists since I had help from the Lord of the Universe. And that's true. I do have help a secularist could never tap into.
I thought those who were wounded would be able to understand God's love if I just loved them enough. In some cases, this happened. Some that I loved did understand God's love and were able to move beyond the hurts of their past. However, others couldn't comprehend the love I offered and only found reasons to blame me for their lack of comprehension. I became the recipient of all their anger.
Is Women- or Men-Only Ever Okay?
A couple weeks back, as I eyeballed the catalog for an upcoming auction held by the Christian school I graduated from, send my kids to, and serve as Alumni Board President of, a chill fell through my body, numbing it along the way. Feeling came back as I reread the chill-inducing words - which this time sparked a rage:
"Are you up to the challenge? [Club] member and [School] parent [Blankety Blank] invites you to go for it! Three gentlemen are invited to be [Blankety's] guests for 18 holes of incomparable golf at this famed all-men's course. After the game, enjoy refreshments in the traditional atmosphere of the clubhouse."
- Donated by Blankety and Blankette Blank
Anyone else see a problem here? Well, I did. An abomination, actually. I couldn't believe that this school - which I loved, which shaped me, made me think I could do anything God called me to do, and which now shaped my children - would accept money from this source that screams: "Women are a nuisance! Women aren't as good! Women don't belong!" I couldn't believe that this passed as something that supports the school's mission to develop academically prepared disciples to transform the world for Christ.
When Good Gifts Turn Bad
In my observation, some of the worst "troublemakers" in organizations of all kinds are women with frustrated leadership gifts.
Like all gifts, leadership can be used in positive or negative ways. Someone with the gift of hospitality may use it to build up the body of Christ--or to foster a clique. A gifted teacher may help others learn--or sit back and ridicule those who do teach. And women with leadership gifts can choose to embrace their gifts and the responsibility God has given them to exercise their gifts for his glory. Or they can reject their gifts, try to be someone else, and end up leading others in destructive ways.
Because they can't squelch God's gift, they can't help but lead. They lead others astray, seek (and often find) followers, lead rebellions, and champion pet causes that are at odds with the goals of the organization as a whole. They criticize and find fault with their leaders. They manipulate others into doing what they want them to do.
Food for Thought
Women process pain differently than men. Women need to talk about it, to get it out in an affirming environment before receiving direction. Empathetic listening skills are critical. Understanding is essential. In some ways, women desperately need the comfort only other women can give.
The Cost of Principled Leadership
Nobody likes a party pooper. Worse yet, a naysayer or "doom and gloomer" can get in the way of any one of our best laid plans for the future. But we all have had those moments in our lives when we have been convicted. And sometimes that conviction comes to us gently, nudging us to change gears, redirect our thoughts, or to have a total change of heart - to see things more clearly. Sometimes conviction may not come so easily, perhaps through intense trials, pain, and struggles. But no matter how convictions come to us, they have the strengthen a new resolve in us that spurs us onto new levels of leadership, causing us to have a wider area of influence and impact.
Yet, this "principled" leadership is costly. And it's different than being a naysayer or party pooper, whose motive may be a bad attitude or disagreeable spirit and typically has the effect of just producing guilt or anger in us - versus true conviction. Principled leadership requires, well, principles. Not thoughts, opinions, preferences, or tastes. And principles, if properly grounded in truth, become the foundation of our convictions, which allow us to stand firm, address unpopular opinions, cut through the emotional and murky waters and Lord willing, do the right thing and lead others to follow in doing the right thing.
Finding My Voice
A couple months ago in the Presidential campaign, we all saw Hillary Clinton become a little emotional when a reporter asked her a question. I was stunned by all the buzz generated by the press and subsequently chatted about beside water coolers and in coffee shops all over the country. A couple days after the event, Clinton remarked that perhaps she had "found her voice." I fully understood what she was driving at. Every leader needs to find his or her voice over time. But as a woman leader in the church, the challenge for me has been to discern what truly is my authentic voice, and what is an attempt to mimic the voices of male leaders I respect. In all kinds of settings, we have to discover what voice is the one that most accurately reflects our God-given instincts, personality, perspective, and story.
By nature I am a fairly emotional and expressive person. I don't believe this is unique to female leaders and communicators, though sometimes people assume that males will be more "in control" of their emotions and speak from the head more than the heart. Certainly there have been times both in meetings and in the pulpit when I have attempted to at least put a lid on becoming too emotional, avoiding the kind of blubbering that thwarts the ability to even choke out words. But to hide all my passion and deep feelings simply isn't me.
Food for Thought
Stephen Ong, pastor and founder of Victory Baptist Church in Greeley, Colorado, chose to build the church on an intergenerational model. "Too many families were living Christianity only at church," Ong says. "It wasn't being applied at home. I figured if we could bring families together in their walk of faith on Sundays, it would create a mutual accountability that would stay with them throughout the week."
Live from Synergy 2008: Who We Really Are
Fear not.
That was one message in today's final plenary session. And it was one overarching message of the entire Synergy conference. As humans, we tend to be afraid, to fear life's battles and even our own gifts. And as women, many of us practice fear our whole lives. But as women made in the image of God, created to fight the lifelong battle of the ezer, we need not - and must not - live in fear.
So how do we let go of the fears that bind us and keep us from fulfilling God's calling? We remember the God who created us and who he has made us to be. And we find our strength in him.
This morning, Carolyn Custis James reminded us of the ways we usually identify ourselves and introduce ourselves to others. We talk about our friends, our husbands, our jobs, our children, our homes. All important, to be sure. But all fragile. All can be taken away - as the lives of Naomi and Ruth demonstrate. Our value and identities come not from the roles we play or the people who surround us. Our identity as ezers - God's image bearers and indispensable warriors - can never be taken away. It's with us from birth. That's who we really are.
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Live from Synergy 2008: Emotional Responses from Thinking Women
As I got ready for the final plenary session this morning, I had "chokey moment" - you know; where you get that catch in your throat and feel tears building a bit behind your eyes. I initially thought it was because I was going to see my kids this afternoon and just realized how much I had missed them. But then I remembered: This wasn't the first time I'd welled up over the weekend here at Synergy. And I'm not a crier.
At Friday night's opening session, I misted up during Carolyn Custis James's talk, "Inhabiting Your Story," as she walked us through Naomi's powerful story and opened my eyes and heart to God's love and redeeming power in ways I had never seen. I did it again during Leigh McLeroy's Saturday morning talk on the ways God can use brokenness for his story - and ours - and how we need to learn to "struggle well." Wow. That got me.
And I wasn't the only one I saw getting a bit weepy this weekend. Another woman cried while sharing her exhaustion and her fear of burnout leading a non-for-profit; yet another got choked up sharing her experience - and frustrations - in women's ministry.
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Live from Synergy 2008: What Is the Future of Women’s Ministry?
When I first read Amy Simpson's blog post Why I Don't Do Women's Ministry a short while back, I remember giving an enthusiastic fist-pump toward my computer monitor. "Yeah," I said, "Why do we always call it a luncheon instead of just lunch?" More than just noon-meal terminology, Amy's words resonated with me because, like many of you, I feel out of place in traditional "women's" ministries. And with only 10 short months of marriage to my credit, I've come to realize that this extends to ministries to wives or married couples as well. As a person who loves the Lord and wants to be involved with his church, these aversions sometimes make me feel abnormal, guilty, or petty, as if I don't have the right to find fault with what someone else had diligently planned for me. Thankfully, Amy summarized my feelings exactly and I realized I wasn't alone. Her comments responded to what many of us associate with typical women's ministry: home parties, dubiously-named luncheons, or crafts.
Maybe this sensitivity is why I gravitated so quickly to the theme of the Synergy workshop I attended this morning called "What Is the Future of Women's Ministry?" Our group was diverse in ethnicity, age, profession, and family status. The panel discussion aimed to discuss about five questions on the subject of the future of women's ministry, but our dynamic group only made it through the first and most fundamental: what is women's ministry? In other words, what do we mean when we use that term? And how does that inform how we think about our hopes and expectations of this concept?
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Live from Synergy 2008: The Return of the Ezer
Synergy 2008 is off to quite a start!
First off, let me just say: it's so wonderfully warm here. Sunny and warm and humid?and there are flowers. Spring has been late in coming to Chicago (or at least that's how it feels to me), so I'm loving this!
Now on to the good stuff. Last night, Carolyn Custis James wowed us all during the first plenary session of the conference. She reminded us of our roles as ezers ? the word used to describe females in Genesis 2: 18: "The Lord God said, ?It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper (ezer) suitable for him.'"
But ezer does not simply mean helper?or not in the simple way we might define helper anyway. We were not made simply to help men clean up after themselves or to do the stuff they don't want to do. Ezer signifies a partnership beyond mere conveniences or even simple reproductive purposes. Ezer is not a word to be taken lightly; nor is it a word used solely (or even primarily) for women. Ezer is more often used in the Bible to describe God as Israel's helper. Or sometimes to describe Israel's war allies. This is a powerful word embodying so much more than our English "helper" would have us believe. Ezer: (pronounced azer with a long a, as in razor) is a powerful Hebrew military word. And yet it's the word God chose to twice describe the woman he created. This is not the image of a helpmate; this is the image of a compatriot, a fellow warrior in an all-important battle.
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Crossing Chasms—With Courage
Growing up, my all-time favorite action hero was Indiana Jones, an audacious archaeologist who traveled the world looking for treasures and lost artifacts, including the Ark of the Covenant and sacred stones. On his last crusade, Jones is searching for the Holy Grail, the cup Christ reputably used at the Last Supper. To aid him in his journey, Jones uses an ancient book to help him navigate through a maze of tunnels and various obstacles that impede the way to the Holy Grail.
At the very end of the maze, Jones reaches a chasm that is deeper than the visible eye can see. He stands precariously on the edge of the rocky cliff, his face contorted with bewilderment. Had he gone the wrong way? Had he made a mistake? There was no visible way to cross the chasm; the other side was utterly beyond his reach. Gripped with fear, he anxiously thumbs through the pages of the ancient book until he understands the obstacle: it's a leap of faith, an invisible bridge. Jones scatters sand over the invisible bridge, closes his eyes, and steps out over the chasm with both feet. Once he realizes his footing is secure, he rushes across the invisible bridge to retrieve the Holy Grail.
Inevitably, every Christian leader, even those among us who appear to be the most fearless, must face their own chasm, the chasm between our calling as Christian leaders and our own personal resources.
Just Like Summer Camp…Well, Sort of
When I was growing up, I went to Bible camp every summer. Going to camp was one of the absolute highlights of my year. It was right up there with Christmas, my birthday, the last day of school, and the first snowfall.
So what made camp so great? Well, it wasn't the activities. I could enjoy many of those things at home. It wasn't the sleeping accommodations - sleeping bags and 3-inch-thick noisy mattresses are a novelty for only a few nights. The food was?well, it was camp food. And I'm not crazy about marshmallows.
Listening To God's Word
This month Gifted for Leadership, Leadership Journal, and some of our sister sites are joining to think seriously about Scripture. An exciting foray into this topic begins with an interactive assessment: The Hermeneutics Quiz, by Scot McKnight. This free quiz will give you an insightful perspective into the way in which you interpret Scripture.
For other considerations, read Scot's article on the Leadership website, or dive into Christopher Blumhofer's insightful post below.
A church's ability to minister to people hinges on its confidence in the Word of God. A low-confidence church can't teach or preach or serve with any real sense of expectation. It can't profess assurance that God speaks or that listening for his voice is worthwhile. A high-confidence church lives in another reality: a realm in which God speaks and acts, calls and sends.
Food for Thought
While I don't understand everything, there is one thing I am solidly convinced of: a call is not a career. The pivotal distinction between the two may be the most important thing we ever understand about the call of God, especially in these times.
The words themselves immediately suggest one difference. Our English word career comes from the French carriere, meaning "a road," or "a highway." The image suggests a course one sets out on, road map in hand, goal in sight, stops marked along the way for food, lodging, and fuel.