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I Lost Everything in a House Fire
I was forced to decide if I truly could be grateful in all circumstances.
With virtually all of our material possessions destroyed and damaged (my neighbor literally gave me the coat off her back), we checked into a hotel. At dinner that first night, my husband looked at each one of us. With a catch in his voice, he said, “Everything I ever needed, I still have around this table.”
In that moment, I understood what it means to be thankful in all circumstances.
Two weeks later, we moved into a fully-furnished apartment with a short-term lease. All we brought with us—our family of five—was a laundry basket of clothes.
Praying Grandparents
Stand in the gap for the next generation.
Still a Daughter
Even now, there are things I need to hear from my dad.
I spent last week at the beach in Destin, Florida, with my family. Five days of sitting on a beach chair in the sun, watching my nieces and littlest sister (and husband and brother-in-law) play in the sand and tide. I made some progress in one of the novels I took, but most of my books stayed in my backpack. The week was a time for catching up with my dad and his wife and daughters, for eating fresh seafood, for throwing the Frisbee on occasion, for seeing the rushing and retreating expanse my father has made.
Did “Tiger Mother” Go Too Far?
One mother’s view on towing the line with her children
Last week I listened to an interview with Amy Chua, author of a new book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Chua’s parents were Chinese immigrants, and by her own admission, they raised her according to the strict, highly regimented “Chinese way.” Chua has come under fire for raising her own two daughters similarly. Throughout their childhoods, they have spent countless hours each day practicing piano or violin. They’ve been prohibited from watching television and attending sleepovers. Chua also admits to using tactics such as berating them and doling out harsh punishments as a way of motivating them to do their best. Once she even denounced her daughter’s handmade birthday card, saying, “I reject this.” Chua believes that parents need to tow the line, sometimes in drastic, memorable ways, to fight off children’s natural bent toward complacency. Her critics say she takes this too far.
The Most Romantic Thing My Husband Ever Said to Me
I happened to be throwing up at the time.
We have funny ideas about romance. We think of it as candlelight, being showered in gifts, and a stolen kiss. That may be sort-of romantic, but at my age those things have worn kind of thin. And I think they have for a lot of people.
Take Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, for instance. He’s probably the most romantic figure in fiction. Women hold him up as the ideal that they’re looking for. But what is he like? For most of the story he’s cold, distant, and insulting. He certainly never does the candlelight and gift thing. He doesn’t even steal a kiss! But he’s a man of action. When it comes right down to it, he moves heaven and earth for the one he loves at great cost and inconvenience to himself.
Continue reading "The Most Romantic Thing My Husband Ever Said to Me" »
Marriage in Real Life
Shaking free from the bonds of expectation
I recently started watching Friday Night Lights, a show about the inner workings of a small Texas town and its obsession with football. The show centers on the high school football coach, Eric Taylor and his wife, Tami, as they—sometimes unknowingly—disciple the inhabitants of this small town in football and in life.
I’m only on the first season, but I’m already struck by Eric and Tami’s marriage. In fact, it might be the healthiest portrayal of marriage I’ve seen on TV . . . ever. In a sitcom world of oblivious, lazy husbands and manipulative wives, it’s refreshing to see a marriage in which husband and wife are equally supportive and kind toward each other.
I also appreciate that this fictional couple isn’t romanticized, but they’re healthy. Eric and Tami grapple through issues together. They unpack these worries at the end of the day, giving each other advice and grace as they go. And even in the thick drama of a television show, their lives aren’t flashy. In fact, sometimes the occasional mundane doldrums of marriage are so realistic that I wonder if I’m watching a real couple.
Sandwiched In
I never expected to be a parent to both my children and my mother.
The term “sandwich generation” is used to describe middle-aged adults (primarily 45- to 54-year-olds) who have elderly parents and dependent children. Based on this, I’m living a triple-decker club life. With a toddler grandson, a middle-schooler, and three college-age adults living under one roof with us, plus my 70-something mother in a nursing home 15 miles away, and my in-laws across the street, my husband and I are firmly pressed in on all sides.
According to an AARP report, we’re not alone. Forty-four percent of people our age have at least one living parent and one child under age 21. Approximately 7 percent live in a household containing three generations—oneself, one’s parents or in-laws, and one’s children. Parents my age are often paying for college expenses. At the same time, they may be footing the bill for significant medical expenses, running errands, and transporting aging parents to frequent doctor visits. Longer life spans (77.8 years is the average life expectancy) and couples waiting later to start their families has created a care-giving scenario that few families are prepared to manage.
I know. I’m one of those families.
Welcome to KyriaBlog.com!
Welcome to the Kyria blog!
This blog is designed specifically for thoughtful, influential women who want more from their faith and who want to make a difference in the lives of others. We strongly feel God's claim on our lives and God's call to exercise influence in ministry to the body of Christ, primarily through the local church.Kyria gets its name from a word in the original language of the Bible. In Greek it means "honored woman." The epistle of 2 John, for instance, is addressed to one such "kyria," translated there as "chosen lady." You may recognize the similarity of this word to "kyrie," which is the masculine form of the same word, usually translated "lord."
We chose this name because, just like the biblical Kyria, we feel it conveys something about the place of women in the life and ministry of the body of Christ, his church. We are chosen, called, and gifted for ministry.
Kyria blog will be filled with content on topics from spiritual formation to missional life to women's ministry to church leadership to hot topics. We'll cover current events, politics, culture, and media—anything that will help you reach out and disciple and serve others better.
Along with this blog, we're producing a free weekly enewsletter (you can sign up here), a weekly updated website, and if you become a member of Kyria ( for more info or to sign up click here), a monthly digital magazine, in which each issue will cover a specific spiritual discipline or spiritual issue. These resources not only will be useful for you in your faith and ministry, but will also offer you a community of women with the same callings, gifts, and passions so you can grow together and challenge, and support one another.
Ultimately, Kyria is a place to be encouraged, challenged, and motivated. We believe in the power of God to change lives and build the church, a powerful instrument of hope and redemption for the world. As women created in God's image, we've been chosen in Christ, called to influence.
If you believe as we do and are committed to making the most of the gifts God has given you, please join our conversations. As Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Let's encourage one another and build each other up."
Going Home
The funny thing about families: Even if you're apart for awhile, when you get back together, it's like no time at all has lapsed.
Recently, my niece Jennifer graduated college. She was the first in our family to do so, and we all went to my sister's house in California to celebrate.
Dad looked the same, just a few inches shorter. He still drapes his legs over the side of a chair when he sits. I cried when I saw him, and I couldn't keep from staring at him and at my brothers and my sister. It was all so surreal. It had been 10 years since we'd all been together.
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