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The Surprising Delight of Confession
There’s something freeing when we call sin what it is in our lives.
A few years ago amid swirling rumors of Tiger Woods’ infidelities, newsman Brit Hume waded in with a bold claim about Christianity: “The extent to which [Tiger] can recover seems to me depends on his faith. . . . I don’t think [Buddhism] offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. My message to Tiger would be, ‘Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.’”
Many were up in arms about Hume’s direct on-air promotion of Christianity—but what struck me most was the aspect of Christian faith that Hume drew attention to. It wasn’t God’s love or how we’re made in God’s image or even about God’s wonderful plan for your life. It was the desperate need we sinners have for forgiveness and redemption.
Assessing the Year that Was
Through the good, bad, and ugly I discovered one consistency
As the clock approached midnight on December 31, I watched as the “farewell 2011” Facebook statuses started rolling in. Many of the posts showing up on my feed also summarily categorized the year about to pass as a “good” or “bad” year in the life of the poster. I wondered if my 2011 had been a good or a bad one; I hadn’t really thought about it. Sure, both good and bad things happen in a year, but nothing so awful and overbearing permeated the full 12 months to a point where it would negate all the good things.
Best of 2011 from Kyria!
Check out our most popular offerings this year.
The Kyria.com team can relate to the topics you’ve made most popular. We’ve wrestled with feeling misunderstood and accepted, trying to figure out our reactions to bizarre news stories, and finding God-centered ways to relate to our spouses, kids, and friends. We’ve also grown through each issue of the digital magazine we’ve put together as we’ve looked at spiritual practices such as simplicity, acceptance, and submission. You can stay up to date on the newest Kyria content by signing up for our free e-newsletter here.
Thank you for walking this journey with us in 2011! Here is our collection of Kyria.com Top Lists.
Bah, Humbug!
Getting past the glitter of Christmas to the gold
I’ve developed an allergy to evergreens, so we’ve had to resort to putting together our Christmas tree piece by piece—a task I find revolting. Gift giving is always agonizing for me. I want the recipient to be surprised and awed by their gift, which is almost impossible in a culture that has everything. Sometimes this hunt feels like an epic quest to the ends of the earth on the level with The Odyssey. I try not to overeat, so all the temptations at work, home, neighbors’ houses, and church are like walking a tightrope that will drop me into a cornucopia of food if I slip to the right or to the left. Although I love receiving everyone else’s Christmas cards, I find the process of doing them myself tedious and overwhelming. Do I sound like Scrooge yet?
A Hand to Hold on Thanksgiving
Learning joy through gratitude
Surprisingly, my answer came from a work project. We were working on the November 2010 digital magazine and in the first question of our interview, Sally Clarkson answered my question of how to be joyful. “You can’t have joy unless you’re grateful.” So simple, so clear. Yet it seemed like I’d never heard it before. It always amazes me how God instructs us, how he uses the ordinary to answer our prayers and to direct us onto the right path.
Thoughts on Death
The nursing home is a sad place. Residents generally have some degree of dementia or some other mental disability. Millie often cries, seemingly out of the blue. She buries her wrinkled, mournful face in her cupped, knotty hands. Her shoulders shake. I wish I could know what specifically makes her sad, but asking questions doesn’t get me far. This week I’m going to take her some photos of my puppy. Maybe they’ll make her feel happy, at least for a time.
The Neglected Spiritual Practice
Why do we so often forget the importance and power of celebration?
I was a typical new mom, meticulously recording milestones, photographing every possible facial expression and pose, and religiously recording it all in a scrapbook for my bouncing baby boy. That, of course, was baby number one.
The Challenge of Hope
Grasping the understanding that our anticipation really is in Christ.
At a point where most of the big things still stretch out before me, this is a good thing. But I’m learning it’s also a scary thing. Because sometimes hopes are disappointed—in fact, devastated. Sometimes God doesn’t give us the things we want. What does this mean about God? Doesn’t he want good things for me? Is hope just about looking toward heaven? Do I have to accept that the good things I want might not happen in this life?
Are We Getting Worship Wrong?
And how can we get it at least a little bit right?
Week after week all the congregants in my little church passionately sang about worship, saying, “I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it.” There were definitely times when singing these lyrics was an honest confession for me; I do struggle sometimes with turning times of corporate worship into self-focused experiences. But singing “I’m sorry” week in and week out rubbed me the wrong way. Are we really getting worship “wrong” all the time? I wondered. Do we really need to keep apologizing over and over? Aren’t we getting it at least a little bit right?
Returning to Christ
Even when we fail to pursue God, he always equips us to turn back to him.
A few weeks ago, I reviewed my New Year’s resolutions for 2011. My list included several impactful spiritual goals that I’d needed to work on when the year started.
The update: I’m failing. Miserably so, but I already knew that.
I’m not a woman of action. I leisurely get tasks done, often procrastinating until the last minute. When I do accomplish something, though, I celebrate. I say to myself, Look at what you’ve done. You are a capable, creative, and independent woman. It feels so good to be productive. And it really does! The problem is I’m not disciplined enough to change my habits when the next task presents itself, and I live in a cycle of simply completing or doing nothing at all.
What’s in a Name?
An interview with the woman who named Kyria.com
Forced to Face My Issue with Grace
How God used my gallbladder to show me an area in my life that needed work
After a year of having an on-again, off-again “funny stomach” that I blamed on bad food or bad-for-me food or a passing flu, I woke up one morning with excruciating pain just under my right rib cage.
It was difficult to keep up with my responsibilities. The pain was so strong sometimes that all I could do was lie still, nibbling on crackers to try to settle my stomach. Additionally, I was relearning what I could and couldn’t eat, which meant I spent a lot of time worrying about what I’d eat at weekly work lunches and how that would affect me. Plus there were all the doctor appointments. I had blood drawn at least once a week for months and saw four different doctors during the ordeal.
A Narrative Problem
Our stories can define us in both good ways and bad. Too often I was choosing the bad.
It’s a pretty good story, as stories go. In it, I’m the wise, intrepid heroine who navigates an especially tricky matter of the heart with resilience and aplomb. Despite tragedy, heartache, and loss, I emerge on the other side a little sadder, but a lot stronger, with help from mother wit, some swinging jazz standards, and the occasional pint of Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar Crunch.
At least that’s how I thought it sounded when I began.
Written in Our Hearts
I’m beginning to understand the powerful purpose of God’s law
My husband and I have been thinking a lot about children lately (we’ve enjoyed nearly three years of marriage without them and have each felt the pull toward parenthood).
So what matters to God? Who does he want me (and you) to be? We know through history in Scripture, as well as through the overt teaching of Jesus, that legalism (another word for perfectionism) is not what God desires; in fact, he condemns it. We also know that righteousness is of utmost importance to God; he requires righteousness of us, and that is fitting with his nature.
The Art of Discomfort
God knows how much I hate asking for help.
I’m reading the Gospel of Mark again. I always forget about Mark. I leave him out of the Gospel writer equation and then I feel terrible amounts of guilt for forgetting him. I wonder if he was a middle child.
Anyway, I stumbled upon this little number last night from Mark 6:47–52:
Who Are You Imitating?
We’re all following someone’s example.
I drive like my dad. Well, maybe not as aggressively, but similarly nonetheless. As a grown-up daughter I see how influential my parents’ example has been in my life and in the lives of my sisters. From simple driving habits to the complex way we handle anger, my sisters and I are in many ways just mirroring the examples we’ve seen throughout our lives.
Singing of Mother Mary
In our efforts to differentiate ourselves from unbiblical approaches to Mary, have we swung the pendulum too far the other direction?
I used to feel an inner struggle whenever I’d hum or sing the famous Beatles’ song “Let It Be.” I loved the tune, and I really liked the general message of the song . . . except for that darn, pesky line about “mother Mary” coming and urging the songwriter (Paul McCartney) to simply “let it be.” The idea of Mary showing up to give the Beatles advice seemed like just one more wrong, off-the-rocker example of Marian mythology in our culture. As an evangelical, I always felt it was my duty to shrug off and fastidiously avoid anything mystical, magical, mythical, or even remotely special regarding Mary.
Hope in Advent
Don’t hesitate to trust the Lord’s leading.
This week we entered into the season of Advent: a perfect time to reflect on the past year, and prayerfully consider the year ahead. During Advent, I often find myself thinking about all the hopes I have for the year to come, maybe things I didn’t get to do this year, or things I’m missing spiritually. I would say these are good hopes, but I was reminded this week that I should place my greatest hope and trust in the Lord, no matter what’s in store for my life.
How Great a Father’s Love
It even extends to our hair
Lately, I can’t stop watching the Sesame Street video, “I Love My Hair.” The video, which debuted last month, features a cute little African-American Muppet who dances around the screen, singing about her hair:
“Don’t need a trip to the beauty shop/’cause I love what I got on top/It’s curly and it’s brown/ and it’s right up there/You know what I love?/That’s right! I love my hair.”
The Blind Side’s Sean Tuohy- LIVE webinar
Please view the "Living the Giving Life" webinar with Sean Tuohy, recorded on 9/28/10. We hope you are touched and challenged to focus your giving with a conscious effort.
(Please note that you must have Adobe Flash installed to be able to view the webinar, and the file cannot be downloaded to be viewed later.)
An Object Lesson in Perseverance
Not everything in life goes to the swift and strong
For me, fall means more than spicy baked goods, craft fairs, or a wardrobe change. After a summer off, autumn means returning to part-time study in my graduate program. And this quarter, that comes with an extra challenge: Most of the people I started my program with have graduated.
Carolyn Arends Worship Webinar
Carolyn Arends answered questions about worship in a one-hour live webinar held on August 26th. She was interviewed by Kyria Editor, Ginger Kolbaba. Carolyn Arends is the author of Wrestling with Angels, as well as a singer/songwriter. Check out her new album, Love Was Here First, or visit her website.
(Please note that you must have Adobe Flash installed to be able to view the webinar, and the file cannot be downloaded to be viewed later.)
Years of Confusion
How to learn to trust God in the midst of uncertainty
The ground starts to shake; parts of the earth are shifting. An earthquake begins to separate the land around you. Bits of the earth are crumbling into the depths of the ground. To the left to the right, behind you, and in front of you is sinking ground. Chaos and destruction is destroying everything around you . . . but the land directly below your feet remains unshaken.
An Hour with J.I. Packer
If you didn’t get a chance to participate in the webinar, you can view it here.
Theologian and author J.I. Packer answered questions in a one-hour live webinar held on August 4th. Dr. Packer was interviewed by Kyria contributing editor, JoHannah Reardon.
(Please note that you must have Adobe Flash installed to be able to view the webinar, and the file cannot be downloaded to be viewed later.)
Swatches of Hope
How do we connect what feels like abstract hope to the concrete problems we see?
For a few weeks now, I’ve been carrying around some unusual symbols of hope: a small stack of paint swatches in a wrinkled plastic grocery bag.
I’d been looking for a new place to live—someplace close enough to work and school to shorten a soul-draining daily commute. A good space for having friends over, with enough room for a little dog, and a small balcony where I can read on warm summer nights. A space with walls I can paint whatever color I want.
Finding that space has taken more than a year—a long year full of appointments and paperwork squeezed around all of my regular responsibilities. As time has ground on, the idea of having a home has started to feel more abstract than concrete. I know intellectually that eventually I’ll fax the last mound of papers, write the last check, get the keys, and move in, but I didn’t feel connected to that reality.
So a few weeks ago, I went to the hardware store on a mission to find some paint swatches. I figured that having some small reminders of the joy I’d feel once I had my own place would help me feel encouraged and connected, even as I slogged along.
Identity Crisis
Losing who we are and gaining much more
Identity is a funny thing. We often base it upon the realities of our day-to-day: “I’m a mom,” “I’m an athlete,” “I’m a teacher.” What we do becomes who we are, which happens easily when we invest in a vocation, craft, or gift.
So we naturally experience a sense of vertigo when our seeming significance is ripped from us. Who do we become when we can’t do what we feel we’re made to do, what we’re supposed to do in order to minister to others, or to keep our own sanity?
When I Was in a Besieged City
We are not alone in our fears.
Hopefully you’ve tasted the blessedness of bringing sin into the light of Christ’s love and the fellowship of gracious believers. The step of coming out of the shadows is a challenging one to take—to show we are empty, crooked, and dark. And sometimes even seeing this darkness in us takes a long time; sin desensitizes us as it often subtly invades. And for different reasons, sin causes us to lose some connection to the life outside of our broken selves. This, I believe, is the scariest part.
In the same way that sin curls us inward and slowly silences us, so does fear and anxiety. The places in us that are governed by worry and panic take control of our minds and suck our attentions and demeanors into that darkness. And as with sin, the more we invest in our fears, the more we nourish them.
For the last four years, I’ve been struggling with the darkness of anxiety. Where I once relegated those consumed-with thoughts about death to the fringe Goth kids in my high school, I’ve come to wonder at anyone who doesn’t interpret day-to-day goings on through a sharp awareness of mortality. I am constantly expecting the next tragedy that will turn my life upside-down—the news or the accident that will change my course completely and break my heart.
Constant Distractions
They seem to continually get in the way of pursuing God’s kingdom.
I love the movie Finding Nemo. Yes, it’s a delightful story with real truth packed in. But the reason I really love it is Dory, the blue tang fish with short-term memory loss. She has good intentions . . . and she gets distracted easily.
I often feel like I have an inner Dory. I want to be part of something significant and useful, but I am so easily distracted by any one of a million things: the to-do list, friends, an interesting article that leads to another interesting article that leads to more time wasted on the internet.
I recently realized that the most significant and useful thing I could ever participate in is the kingdom of God. (I can hear a chorus of “Duh”s right about now.) But what does the kingdom of God mean? It’s one of those phrases I’ve heard over and over in my lifetime of church attendance. Here’s an explanation I heard recently that stuck: the kingdom of God is the rule and reign of Christ.
Finding My Own Voice
How do I deal with the confusion of singing versus lip-synching through life?
I almost always spend part of my long daily commute listening to the radio or my iPod. I usually sing along: scatting with Ella Fitzgerald, rocking out with Robert Randolph, or attempting those strong, soaring notes with Aretha Franklin.
Lately, though, I’ve noticed an odd development: from time to time, I notice myself lip-synching rather than singing along to the music.
I haven’t analyzed this development enough to notice any sort of pattern here: for example, whether I mouth the words to gospel songs or jazz riffs, whether I bow out when it’s time to hit the high notes during the bridge of a power pop ballad, or whether I start out strong, then fade away. I just find that, without noticing it, I’ve stopped making any sound.
What makes this especially strange to me is that I have a passable singing voice. While you won’t see me on American Idol or Gospel Dream anytime soon, I have a soft but steady Bapticostal soprano, and I’ve often led songs as part of a choir.
Prayer Webinar with Patricia Raybon
Discuss what you've just learned about prayer.
Prayer is a mysterious concept, but it doesn't have to be confusing. Now that you've experienced the Kyria webinar with Patricia Raybon, we hope you have a deeper understanding about what prayer truly is and how to commune with God on a more profound level. What struck you about what Patricia said about the nature of prayer? How do you encounter God in prayer?
Share an example of a time God surprised you or answered a prayer in a unique way. What about a time God didn't answer your prayer but taught you something about himself? Was there anything that Patricia said that gave you a fresh perspective? How will this new thinking affect your prayer life?
Me . . . and Mother Teresa?
If spiritual discouragement is common among believers, why do we avoid talking about it?
I remember hearing a note of smug satisfaction in the voice of the secular radio reporter who was doing a piece on Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light, the book that features some of Mother Teresa’s private letters to her spiritual advisors. In her letters, we see that for many years Mother Teresa experienced times of intense spiritual darkness. Though she prayed fervently, served mightily, and meditated intensely on Scripture, this darkness persisted. She longed to experience the joy and delight of her first intense encounters with God, but instead she often felt spiritual loneliness and a sense of God’s absence. The radio commentator implied that these honest expressions of intense struggle in some way proved that Christian spirituality was in fact empty and unsatisfying.
As I listened to the piece, at first I felt somewhat shocked and discouraged. Mother Teresa so obviously loved Jesus and dedicated her entire life to serving him, I thought. If she felt that way, then . . . is the radio commentator right?
Cut the Bleep Out
It’s healthy to revisit how you censor entertainment.
How to censor what we watch, read, and listen to is a continual debate among believers. I’ve been revisiting how I censor entertainment after listening to a friend’s conviction on the subject.
My friend almost lost his marriage and family from a sexual addiction. Now on the road to recovery, he and his wife have cut out anything remotely sexual from their entertainment. Close friends screen their movies for hints of sex, scantily clothed women, and dirty language.
They don’t watch much TV. How could they? Is there a drama or comedy on TV that doesn’t have sexual themes? While their convictions stemmed from avoiding temptation, the practice has proved to be extremely revealing and healthy in their journey to become more like Christ. In turn, their practices have led me to consider my own.
The God of the Third Way
God reaches us where we didn’t even know we needed to be seen
This Lenten season has brought a freshness of anticipation and wonder to me like none other I can remember. Yes, it has been marked by repentance and introspection, but with knees bent and palms turned up to heaven in contrition, I can’t help but strain my neck to see just what my Father will do next—what incredible way he will demonstrate again his divine wisdom and great love towards us.
Our God is a God of the Third Way. We can storm our minds for wisdom in our need; we can consult other resources and people for best and godly practices, but God is a God of a surprise, consolation, and beauty that transcends even our noblest human ideas. He provides a way beyond our conceptions and reaches us where we didn’t even know we needed to be seen. I’d like to share one recent story of our Father’s way.
Israel: Day 5
In reviewing biblical history, it’s easy to see the significance of this place in the lives of God’s people. In preparation for visiting the site, when I looked to see how many biblical events took place at the Mount of Olives, I was surprised at how significant this location is in Scripture. Here are a few:
• Solomon built altars to the gods of his wives on this mountain—and they worshiped them here, in what Scripture refers to as “high places) (1 Kings 11:7-8).
• After the Book of Law was rediscovered during King Josiah’s reign, he destroyed the altars Solomon had built here, which was then called The Hill of Corruption (2 Kings 23:13).
• King David ascended the Mount of Olives as he ran away from Absalom (2 Samuel 15:30).
• Ezekiel refers to the glory of the Lord ascending the Mount of Olives when prophesying of the Jews’ return to Israel from Babylonian exile (Ezekiel 11:23).
• Jesus and his disciples hung out here (Matthew 26:30).
Israel: Day 4
Our feet are standing
in your gates, O Jerusalem.
Jerusalem is built like a city
that is closely compacted together.
That is where the tribes go up,
the tribes of the LORD,
to praise the name of the LORD
according to the statute given to Israel.
There the thrones for judgment stand,
the thrones of the house of David.
Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:
‘May those who love you be secure.
May there be peace within your walls
and security within your citadels.’
For the sake of my brothers and friends,
I will say, ‘Peace be within you.’
For the sake of the house of the LORD our God,
I will seek your prosperity.”
--Psalm 122
This psalm—one of David’s psalms of ascent, which were written to be sung on the ascent to Jerusalem for worship—has never meant a whole lot to me. Like all of God’s Word, I have valued these pieces of Scripture, but I have not truly understood their meaning and significance.
That changed today. On visiting Jerusalem, I came to understand so much more than I did about the significance of this city to God’s people from David’s time to the present.
Israel: Day 3
First, seeing the place where Jesus’ life and ministry took place has reminded me just how different the cultural context of Jesus’ ministry was from the cultural context in which I worship him. Walking around the Sea of Galilee, Nazareth, and the Dead Sea, the hymns of Martin Luther seem dramatically out of place. So do the worship songs we sing in my contemporary church. This land inspires a different kind of expression, and the people here worship differently as a result.
Does that mean my kind of worship is inadequate or impure? Does the fact that Jesus lived and ministered in the Middle East mean he thinks and behaves like a Middle Easterner and doesn’t understand my mindset? Do I need to change my culture to become more like Jesus? Of course not. Understanding the context of Jesus’ ministry certainly helps us understand his teachings (and I don’t mean to diminish this critical aspect to Bible study), but Jesus is above culture. He lives way outside this and all other cultures. He created cultures and the people in them. The creator is never limited by his creation.
Wannabe Runner
It took me a while, but I’ve finally been able to accept my natural limitations.
Two years ago I decided I wanted to start running. Long distances. Real running. Not just “I’m running from the house to the car because it’s so stinking cold outside” running. What brought this on, I’m not quite sure. Especially since for most of my life, I’d avoided running at all costs.
Over the years I’d spent little time running, but a lot of time watching people run. I’d watch the runners at the gym and think, Yeah, that doesn’t look too bad. I can do that. I have a friend who’s a runner and would knock off four or five miles in a single workout. She’d even completed a half marathon.
Oh, if she can do it, I bet I can too, I’d think. Such high hopes. So little understanding! I just loved the culture of running and I wanted to be as good as those around me.
Israel: Day 2
Among the biblical events that took place in Capernaum was Jesus’ declaration that “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry and he who believes in me will never be thirsty” (John 6:35).
This statement was shocking to those who heard it because they interpreted his words in terms of physical food. The crowd had come to Jesus for more “miracle food,” having just seen him multiply five loaves and two fish that he had just multiplied to feed thousands.
Israel: Day 1
My Trip to Israel
Join me in my journey through the Holy Land
I'm excited to announce that I've been blessed with an opportunity to travel to Israel. And I'd like to take you with me--well, sort of.
Next week, with a group of other representatives from Christian media organizations, I'll be touring the Holy Land and visiting numerous biblical sites. Even in glancing through a preliminary itinerary for the trip, I've been amazed at the thought of seeing so many important places in real life. I hope to learn a lot, to see my faith in a new way, and to share with you what I experience along the way. I plan to blog from Israel each day next week, so stop by to read about my journey. I hope to share photos and maybe some video as well so you can experience a bit of Israel with me.
See you next week. Shalom.
My Daniel Fast
I never imagined everything that I’d realize about myself
A few Mondays ago, I inhaled deeply as the warm, earthy scent of brewing coffee wafted gently over several rows of cubicles and wandered toward my nose. I can usually smell coffee brewing, but on this particular day the scent was so strong I could almost see it meandering around the corner and swirling around me, like in a scene from a cartoon.
I stepped over to my desk and flipped open a small black notebook I’d placed next to my keyboard. Uncapping a pen, I wrote the first thing that came to mind:
8:15. Smelling coffee. ARRGH.
That Monday was Day 1 of a 10-day Daniel fast my church was participating in. Inspired by Daniel 10:3, in which Daniel determines to forgo “choice food” in order to demonstrate humility before the Lord and to gain understanding, our pastors called us to eat simple foods for 10 days, and to add additional prayer and Bible study to our daily routines. Refined foods, sugar, dairy, and yeast were out, in favor of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and nuts. Also on the “no” list? Caffeine.
The journal I kept during the first couple days records my adjustment to the routine in stream-of-consciousness style.
The Growing Season
40 days to a new you!
In Kyria’s Encouraging Words daily online devotional, author Diane Eble recently wrote about the need to create the right conditions for spiritual fruitfulness. Citing Galatians 5:22—"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!"—Eble reminds readers: “Fruit is the result of right conditions, including enough light, the right amount of water at the right time, pulling weeds regularly, and enriching the soil.”
The Lenten Soil
We trust that Christ will meet us in our frail offerings.
Before I went to college, I had a cloudy understanding of Lent. I knew it involved giving something up. Usually chocolate. Not my idea of a good time. But beyond believing that it was legalistic—and maybe even a little masochistic—I didn’t know much.
My Lenten ignorance ceased my sophomore year when I started attending a church that observed Lent. So in the name of “taking one for the team,” I decided to give up—you guessed it—chocolate. I, with my penchant for melodrama, braced myself for a stark and thorny 40-day journey. I survived.
My faith was not profoundly altered during that Lenten season. I didn’t experience moments of sublime communion with Christ. But something small emerged from my heart.
Brought into Being
We can only truly answer “who am I?” questions in the context of community.
Who am I? What am I made for? What defines me?
These are ego-centric questions, yet ones we feel we must ask ourselves—and hone in on an answer—especially if we’re to be effective and influential individuals and Christians. But Mark Galli, in his article “I Love, Therefore You Are,” argues that this is precisely our problem: We are asking ourselves these questions, spending our energies in introspection, determining to bring ourselves into defined beings in order to have something solid to offer the world. This, he claims, is not the pursuit for which we were created.
We are taught in many ways not to define ourselves in relation to other people. The compare-and-contrast game can be a dangerous and hindering one. Scripture says we were knit in our mothers’ wombs (Psalm 139:13). This presumes that we are each unique and choicely created directly by the hands of God and (seemingly) independent of one another. From another angle, Jesus tells us to remove the plank from our own eye before pointing out the speck in someone else’s (Luke 6:42). We’re not to define ourselves by finding a contrast in someone else. That is an unhealthy (and often inaccurate) way to search for definition and personal quality.
The Best Days Are Behind Me?
Too often I long for the past
Every day, on my way home from work, I drive past a college campus. As I wait to turn left onto College Avenue, I often see groups of students walking down the street to go to dinner together. Usually I smile, while fond memories come rushing back. I often look at them wondering if they’re taking it all in—if they’re enjoying this unique experience of community with their peers. I find myself longing to be them; wishing that I was walking with my friends to the cafeteria, instead of driving home to an empty apartment.
I really loved my time in college—homework, exams, and textbooks included. College, in my memories, was like this otherworldly place. A place where you could go to class three hours a day and watch TLC in the afternoon with your roommate. A place where there was always someone who wanted to order pizza at midnight, make chocolate chip cookies at 5 p.m. for dinner, or start a movie late at night. I could sleep until 10 a.m! Heaven! Or at least, that’s how I remember it.
Becoming a Godmother
Two godly women gave me powerful examples of how to shape a child’s life.
Not long ago, my sister and brother-in-law asked me to serve as their son’s godmother. Over a series of text messages with the attendant abbreviations and emoticons, we discussed the responsibility of caring for my nephew’s physical, spiritual, and intellectual development.
I couldn’t help but smile over the idea of having such a serious conversation through the casual medium of text messages. Still, given the experiences my three siblings and I had with our godparents, it seemed appropriate. Our godmothers and godfathers were members of the church we attended, so their presence in our lives was as ordinary and frequent as a Sunday service at our church in Boulder, Colorado. At the same time, these remarkable Christian adults were deeply intentional about showing us special care.
My godmothers, whom we call Aunt Jewell and Grandma Innis, entered our lives as if they’d always been there. My mother describes the ease and care with which Aunt Jewell held me at Bible study when I was a newborn. “She held you like you were her own,” she always says when recounting the story. That convinced my parents that she was the godparent they’d been looking for. A few years later, during my sister’s dedication, Grandma Innis stepped forward, and, with the gentle authority of a seasoned church mother, said simply, “I am the grandmother.”
“Remain in Me”
Apart from Christ we can do nothing.
Nearly seven years ago, I started a business. I prayed diligently about the decision and sensed God’s confirmation to move forward. Because of my inexperience in retail operations, I depended heavily on God for wisdom and direction. Between the first time I caught a vision for this venture and the day we opened our doors, I prayed every step of the way.
On opening day, customers lined up around the building. With pounding heart and sweaty palms, I became acutely aware of the fact that the success or failure of this business rested on me. For the next four years, I ran the store as if this were true.
Instead of praying for God’s wisdom or listening to the counsel of trusted advisors, like my husband, Dan, who was also my business partner, I relied on my own understanding. I simply was too busy and preoccupied to spend time reading my Bible. And when I did make time, I found myself re-reading the same passage over and over and never grasping the words. Daily preoccupation over my work took the place of daily quiet time with God.
Healthy Body, Healthy Soul?
The consequences of allowing good body habits to slide
Late last month, I picked up my buzzing cell phone to a welcome surprise: a photo of my seven-week-old nephew, Jayden, with an irritated expression on his face and a tiny black shirt printed with a white rib cage on his little tummy.
Combining wit and wherewithal, for Halloween my sister and brother-in-law dressed the newest member of the Taylor family as a Hungry Taylor. Jayden’s ensemble was a nod to my family’s legendary ability to ignore a gently rumbling stomach until it coasts past the stage of shaking hands and distractibility, stopping only after it yields the floor to snarling irrationality. (Jayden’s irritated expression was a very true-to-life touch.)
Down to a member, all six of the Taylors can chart a correlation between plunging blood sugar and soaring irritability. It’s bad enough when we’re apart from one another, but the problem is compounded exponentially whenever two or three are gathered. In fact, when I look back on our shared life, I strongly suspect that a specific epoch of family crisis might have been staved off with a box of granola bars.
My nephew’s costume was a hilarious reminder of this familial quirk (though we’re hoping he’ll break the cycle). At the same time, I was reminded of what happens when I ignore my body’s needs.
Real Hospitality
It's more than coordinating dishes and centerpieces.
The word hospitality brings to mind women-targeted magazines and TV shows like Real Simple magazine and the Martha Stewart show. I anticipate that Real Simple magazine arriving in my mailbox each month. When I get it, I’ll often sit and read it cover to cover. I love the new recipes, decorating ideas, and simple home remedies for cleaning. I’m not trying to give the magazine free publicity—I just love it. But why the connection in my head to these types of media and hospitality? Maybe because women tend to be the party throwers and organizers.
I think we’ve been somewhat deceived by our culture’s understanding of hospitality. In our culture, it’s more about throwing dinner parties with the coordinating dishes, napkins, placeholders, and centerpieces. But how often can you do this? Probably only a few times a year. While inviting people into your home is certainly part of hospitality, we’re missing the eternally deeper message of the word.
The Monthly Visitor
Why I’m grateful for the intense sadness that accompanies my menstrual cycles.
I’m grateful for my period. And not just because it proves the possibility of new life and distinguishes me as a woman. I’ve actually become thankful for the emotional instability that sensitizes the handful of days surrounding my menstrual cycles.
For the first years of my period, I noticed few symptoms of pre-menstrual syndrome. But I remember sitting alone in my dorm room my freshman year of college and crying about—literally—starving children in Africa. Even I was caught off-guard by the experience. My period started three days later.
I’ve continued to grow more emotionally fraught around the time of my period. Much of my emotional instability during this time feels pathetic and can quickly become embarrassing. It’s hilarious, actually, as I like to think of myself as laid back, secure, self-actualized. I suppose there’s benefit to having that mirror shattered on such a regular basis.
But present within my spectrum of extreme emotions is sadness. Just sadness. And sometimes this sadness isn’t disembodied or irrational. It’s appropriate sadness: sadness for things and situations that deserve to be grieved.
Give Me that Old-Time Religion?
How timeworn words steer me back toward faithfulness
One Christmas during my childhood, my family received a small electric chord organ and several songbooks. The organ allowed budding musicians to make music using a simple system of numbers and letters. Notes corresponded with numbers that were played with the right hand, while a series of buttons, played with the left hand, produced chords.
One of the songbooks we received included a gospel version of the spiritual “Old-Time Religion.” Because I liked pushing the chord buttons as much as the keys, I didn’t always pay much attention to the time signatures. Instead, I would often play songs at a pace I liked. As a result, my family was often subjected to a rather plodding version of the song:
Give me that Ooooold-Tiiiiiime Re-LIIIG-ion/
Give me that Ooooold-Tiiiiiime Re-LIIIG-ion/
Give me that Ooooold-Tiiiiiime Re-LIIIG-ion/
It’s gooood eee-nouuugh for meeeeeee.
While my love for spirituals like this one has only deepened—and the gospel music tradition I’m a part of allows for a lot of creativity with meter—I wouldn’t say that I practice “old-time religion.”
Praying Together
What does it mean to pray biblically?
For years I attended a prayer group that included close friends. We prayed for one another, the church leadership, and for any needs we happened to know about. After one of these times, a friend said she was considering dropping out of the group because she felt overwhelmed by the prayer requests. It seemed to her as though everyone’s problems were insurmountable, and although we’d been praying for the same things for months, it didn’t seem as though anyone’s life was getting any better.
So what were we doing wrong? Nowhere in Scripture do I find prayers for Marta’s fibromyalgia, Jess’s unruly children, or Connie’s rotten work conditions. The prayers in the Bible are powerful and life-changing, full of God’s power and glory.
Consider Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 1:16-19. In fact, read it aloud with feeling:
“I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.”
Wow! Such a prayer puts fibromyalgia, unruly children, and rotten work conditions in perspective. But obviously, we shouldn’t ignore our problems and pretend they don’t exist. How can we transform them by putting them into the bigger context of what God wants to do in our lives?
Twenty-One Things the World Will Say About Christians
Lauren Winner shares her vision during the Christianity21 conference.
Friends, I'm up late in a hotel room writing what is too good not to share, just like any good live-blogger does. Day One of the Christianity21 conference in Minneapolis has been full of provocative ideas, revelations, and creativity. I spent the chilly afternoon sipping Peace Coffee (I stepped on an ICE patch in the parking lot, thank you very much), listening to 21-minute sessions, and limping under the weight of my computer bag as I interviewed greats like Phyllis Tickle and Mimi Haddad (more reasons to stay tuned to Kyria in the months ahead!). While I can't describe every way the Lord is working in one late-night blog post, I'd like to share Lauren Winner's 21 characteristics that - if we all are faithful now - the world will say about Christians by the end of this century. In other words, she hopes that the average person on the street in the year 2092 might think of these qualities when asked what Christians are like.
By the end of the 21st century, Christians will...
1. Be peacemakers.
2. Be expected to be the first ones to show up when disaster strikes.
3. Rest, because they know they're not the ones in charge.
4. While resting, reconfigure their work.
5. Live well in their bodies, whether by their diet, their sex lives, or the clothes they wear.
6. Practice boredom. They will not succumb to the "fetish of the new or the cult of novelty" when it comes to their faith.
Continue reading "Twenty-One Things the World Will Say About Christians" »
If Only Life Came with a Syllabus
I’ve often thought it would be nice if we knew exactly what life had in store for us.
Last weekend, I headed to a local coffee shop with a stack of books for a graduate course I’m taking. Before I began the week’s reading, I pored over the course outline, highlighter in hand, and pens with two different colors of ink at the ready. I spent several minutes marking the most important information on paper, then entering and color-coding the significant dates in my PDA.
The syllabus is one of my favorite things about classes. I love having everything spelled out clearly in one document. A good syllabus does more than simply outline the readings, tests, and assignments for the course. It describes the course, defines its goals, and gives insight into how it will work. It answers questions like: on which assignments should I focus the bulk of my energy and attention? How do I know what the expectations and standards are, and whether or not I’m on track? What should I be doing with my time? If I need help or feedback, where should I go, and when?
As I circled dates, bracketed the grading scale, and starred major assignments, I wondered—and not for the first time—why life doesn’t come with a syllabus.
Welcome to KyriaBlog.com!
Welcome to the Kyria blog!
This blog is designed specifically for thoughtful, influential women who want more from their faith and who want to make a difference in the lives of others. We strongly feel God's claim on our lives and God's call to exercise influence in ministry to the body of Christ, primarily through the local church.Kyria gets its name from a word in the original language of the Bible. In Greek it means "honored woman." The epistle of 2 John, for instance, is addressed to one such "kyria," translated there as "chosen lady." You may recognize the similarity of this word to "kyrie," which is the masculine form of the same word, usually translated "lord."
We chose this name because, just like the biblical Kyria, we feel it conveys something about the place of women in the life and ministry of the body of Christ, his church. We are chosen, called, and gifted for ministry.
Kyria blog will be filled with content on topics from spiritual formation to missional life to women's ministry to church leadership to hot topics. We'll cover current events, politics, culture, and media—anything that will help you reach out and disciple and serve others better.
Along with this blog, we're producing a free weekly enewsletter (you can sign up here), a weekly updated website, and if you become a member of Kyria ( for more info or to sign up click here), a monthly digital magazine, in which each issue will cover a specific spiritual discipline or spiritual issue. These resources not only will be useful for you in your faith and ministry, but will also offer you a community of women with the same callings, gifts, and passions so you can grow together and challenge, and support one another.
Ultimately, Kyria is a place to be encouraged, challenged, and motivated. We believe in the power of God to change lives and build the church, a powerful instrument of hope and redemption for the world. As women created in God's image, we've been chosen in Christ, called to influence.
If you believe as we do and are committed to making the most of the gifts God has given you, please join our conversations. As Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:11: "Let's encourage one another and build each other up."
Dead Tree Blooming
Almost every day I pass a certain field. It?s pretty wide open in the center, with some sort of oak trees and some kind of palm trees scattered here and there, which is an odd combination if you ask me.
In the center of the field stand two oak trees, and in the 17 years I?ve passed them, they haven?t changed.
The tree on the right has always been dead-looking, probably hit by lightning. It has remained a skeleton for as long as I can remember, with its branches stripped bare. No leaves, no life, not even any Spanish moss hanging from it.
It?s always been an eerie sight, especially when black birds line themselves on the stark white tree limbs and shriek, reminiscent of Alfred Hitchcock?s The Birds. It ranks an ick factor of about 5, with a pit of snakes at 10.
It reminds me of how death mocks life, how it haunts our thoughts and tinges even our best of times, a constant reminder that we don?t leave this world alive.
In contrast to this dead-looking tree, the oak tree on the left is lush and green. Its leaves never seem to fall, never fade or turn color. They are ever and always green.
For years I?ve passed this field with these two trees standing near each other, one alive and one dead-looking. For the longest time I thought the dead-looking tree was truly dead. Although it hasn?t fallen over, there?s been no activity or growth. No tiny buds in spring or tender shoots.
Thankful for True Friendship
Everything I know about true friendship, I learned from Lori.
I wish you could meet her. She's the sort of person who makes everything more fun, just by being there. She's an unfussy beauty, with auburn hair and freckles, and I've charted the last half of my life by the fixed point of her friendship.
We met 25 years ago, in a "young-marrieds" Bible study. Our husbands shared a love of fishing, so Lori and I got to know each other, standing side-by-side in a Rocky Mountain river, casting for trout.
I remember those pre-dawn mornings, Mark and I drinking coffee in the tiny kitchen of our married-student housing apartment, listening for the squeaky fender of Greg and Lori's Maverick to announce their arrival at our front door, fishing poles ready.
A real estate developer in the making, Greg flipped houses before it was a topic on home improvement shows. Lori and I painted countless walls in countless living rooms during the early years of our friendship.
As time went on, we raced our way through every fashion trend of the running boom, from baggy cotton sweats to lycra tights. We did aerobics to the songs of The Pointer Sisters. We survived "big bangs" and body perms.
The New Girl
She was the sort of girl you spoke to when the teacher was listening, but later shunned on the playground. In the well-defined social strata of fourth grade, she occupied the lowest position in the pecking order.
She provided my first glimpse beyond the comfortable borders of my elementary school experience.
She arrived halfway through the school year and she rode my bus. She seldom bathed, or so we surmised after standing next to her in the lunch line. The raveled hems of her dresses swung unevenly around her dirty knees when she ran. Her sleeves were always too long or too short. We regarded her as an unwelcome interloper into our well-incubated world.
Seeding the Snow
It's two degrees outside, and my mailbox is overflowing with lilies and tomatoes. Pictures of them, that is. Seed catalogs.
They began turning up just before Christmas, sandwiched between the Visa bills, gilded Christmas cards, and letters from friends we haven't seen in years. In the midst of carols, baking, and family festivities, the seed catalogs were piled on an end table, largely forgotten. Until today.
I love how they arrive in the dead of winter, dependable as the liturgy. So much promise for just pennies a packet. Some of the catalogs are slick and polished, with an abundance of exaggerated hyperbole. "Exclusive!" "Summer Madness Hybrid Double Petunia," "Picture Perfect Salmon Pink Coleus," "A tapestry of stunning colors and textures." No shy descriptions here.
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